April 27th, night

Youngbae was sitting beside Jiyong’s bed, watching his little friend sleeping soundly. The doctor said he was just exhausted from work and the sprained ankle made it worse, that’s why he fainted earlier. After taking some medicine, all he needed were sleeping and resting as much as he could. Youngbae insisted on staying with him, never before had he desperatedly wanted to be with Jiyong like right now. He stared at his friend, how could this little body have that much strength? Why did he have to push himself too hard like that? He did a lot of work without any complaints and ended up fainting. Thinking about that, Youngbae can’t help cursing himself, “And there I am, blaming everything on him and hurt him.” “I’m sorry Jiyong, I’m really sorry…” He murmured and slowly fell asleep.

Youngbae didn’t know how long he had slept but when he woke up feeling a tickle on his head, he saw Jiyong playing with his braids. Jiyong gave him a tired but tender smile, “Why are you here?” “You’ve waken up,” Youngbae’s voice full of relief. “You haven’t answered me, why are only you here?” “Because I want to be with you.” Finally Youngbae could say the words he couldn’t say for months. He tried to hide his embarassment, “Do you want to eat anything?”

“I’m the sunflower looking only at the sun, growing everyday thanks to the sunlight,” Jiyong joked.

“Yah, I’m serious here,” Youngbae smacked his friend but felt relieved as he was back to the mischievous kid.

“It hurts!!! Just kidding, I’m not hungry, give me some water.” Jiyong looked at Youngbae’s back as he was walking toward the desk. It had been a long time since he could look at his friend closely like this. A happy and warm feeling raised inside his chest.

Waiting for Jiyong to finish the glass of water, Youngbae hesitated, “Jiyong ah, I’m sorry.” “For what?” “For not believing you, for blaming you, for hurting you, for…” Jiyong didn’t let his friend finish his words, “Don’t. You don’t have to say sorry. It’s me who have to. Sorry for getting angry at you. I never meant to hurt your feeling…” Youngbae cut Jiyong’s words too, by hugging his friend tightly.

He could hug him like this for the whole night but Jiyong playfully punched his back, “Yah Dong Youngbae, are you trying to kill me? Let me go, you’re suffocating me.” He felt so comfortable and familiar calling his friend by real name, as if he hadn’t for ages. Youngbae replied with a grin and sat on the chair, but still not let Jiyong go. He was holding to Jiyong’s arm.

“At least let me look at you for a while. I’ve been missing you a lot.” Youngbae admitted. “But I’ve always been next to you.” “I did feel that you’re drifting far away from me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but you were cold and distant, I even thought I was losing you,” Jiyong could feel the guilty feeling in Youngbae’s voice. “Why didn’t you tell me? Suddenly you avoided me, and trust me, I also felt you were cold and distant too. Then when I decided to have a talk with you, you said you promised a dinner with maknae,” Jiyong blushed. “I was jealous, and when I saw you happily playing with maknae too.”

“Oh Jiyong,” Youngbae couldn’t help a big smile, “you know maknae is our brother, I take care of him like Daesung and he also helped me feel less lonely.” Youngbae paused a bit, thinking about those lonely nights. “And that was maknae’s strategy to make you jealous. I didn’t want to do but you know our maknae too well, he’s too excited about everything.”

“I’ll kill that panda,” Jiyong clenched his teeth. “Don’t. Maknae was right, you’re possessive over things or people,” Youngbae laughed. “I’m only possessive over the one I love. That’s why I want to write you a song. You’re always my muse, without you I have no inspiration at all. I wanted to write a special song for you, but you were drifting away and so was the inspiration. That’s why I was so frustrated, I’m really nothing without you.” Jiyong opened his mind.

“I have something to confess too.” Youngbae said. “I want to guest for your concert not because that my album is almost done or I need experience for my own tour. I just want to be with you as much as I can.”

“My Youngbae,” Jiyong moved his hand to hold Youngbae’s hand tightly. “If only you had told me sooner. Do you know why I was so angry when you mentioned promises?” Youngbae looked deep into Jiyong’s eyes, waiting. “Because I thought you forgot our promise,” Jiyong continued. “When we were at my parents’ pension, I told you I wished that moment could last forever and you said ‘We’ll be together forever’. That’s the happiest moment of my life and you don’t know how upset I was, thinking you forgot it.”

“I, Dong Youngbae, promise you we’ll be together forever. Nothing except the death can separate us. Even if I have to put my life on line, I’ll keep this promise.” Youngbae raised his hand, his tone became serious. Jiyong reached out to hold it, “I trust you. I promise you I will do anything to be together forever with you too.”

Some silent seconds of happiness had passed before Jiyong took his hand back, blushing, “Doesn’t it sound like a wedding vow?” Youngbae didn’t let go of Jiyong’s hand, “Yes, it does. But don’t we look like an old married couple? We’ve been together longer than YG hyung with his wife.” Both of them burst out laughing.

“No, not a married couple, you’re my servant,” Jiyong laughed louder. “Why?” “It’s your punishment. I’m your prince and you have to listen to me.” Youngbae winked mischievously, “At your service, my princess.” Jiyong didn’t oppose, “Listen carefully, I order you to come here and lie next to your princess.”

“What kind of order is this?” Youngbae laughed. “How can I sleep on a patient’s bed. I might hurt your leg while sleeping.” “You have to listen to me unconditionally. Come here,” Jiyong patted on the space next to him. Youngbae gave in to his friend, or his princess and lie down face to face with Jiyong. Both of them could feel a familiar warmth.

“I always sleep peacefully when I’m in your arms.” Jiyong whispered. “This feel just like the old days.” “Old days? You mean in Crayon room at the pension or when we filmed 2 Days 1 Night and I sneaked in to sleep next to you?” Youngbae asked. “Both. And way back then when we slept on the cold practice room’s floor. That’s why I stayed with you instead of going home. I love the warmth from you, my sun.”  Youngbae put his arm around Jiyong’s waist, pulled him closer, “I’m always here for you.”

“Ah, Youngbae, there’s one more thing I have to tell you,” Jiyong slowly leaned his head on Youngbae’s chest. “I really expected you to cover Without You. I wrote it thinking about you.” “I’m not surprised, I could feel something while listening to sleep that night, when your album was out. That’s why I changed my mind and didn’t do a cover with Lydia. I didn’t want to sing our song with other girl.” Jiyong moved his head and looked into the other boy’s eyes, “Youngbae, I’m really nothing without you.” “Me too, I’m nothing without you.” Youngbae put a kiss on Jiyong’s forehead and slowly drifted to dreamyland with Jiyong.