c h a p t e r t h r e e

[Minhyuk]

I cupped a handful of water before splashing it all onto my face. As I slowly washed myself, I lifted up my head and stared right back at my own reflection. I couldn’t even recognise the stranger in the mirror – the hollowness his two tired red eyes, his visibly sunken cheeks, his dead and dazed expression which is simply frightening. 

Minhyuk...

I thought I heard something. Quietly, I turned off the water faucet and reached out for the towel to wipe the palm of my hands as I strained both ears to listen for the voice again.

I know you can hear me...

Oddly, I wasn’t afraid. Because I knew who it belonged to – even though honestly speaking, I didn’t want it to be real. I’d rather think of it as an illusion, just a cruel mind trick that I am playing on myself. As much as I missed her, this is not the form I want to see her in – whatever she is now.

Please Minhyuk...you have to listen to me.

Stepping out of the bathroom, I laughed out loud bitterly. “Damn it, Joohee. Get out of my head.”

But I am here...I am really here, if only you’ll allow yourself to look at me. I’m standing right in front of you.

I couldn’t face her. Not after what happened – especially not after what happened. Because that was my fault; her death was my fault. It was all because of me.

Joohee died because of me, and that is a burden I have to live with for the rest of my life.

Minhyuk...don’t be too hard on yourself. It wasn’t your fault.

“You’re reading my thoughts now?” I said to an empty room. “It’s wrong to be probing into other people’s minds, you know.”

She died, because I had failed as the man she had trusted her life with. I had failed in protecting her.

Minhyuk –

The doorbell cut her off short. I sighed in relief silently inside. Saved by the bell.

I hurried out to get the door, curious to as who had come by in the night. But the second I pulled it open and saw Chorong’s stricken face with and an equally troubled Woohyun behind her, I felt like my long night was just about to start.

“Save your breath, Chorong. I’m not listening to any of this.” Turning toward Woohyun, I shot him an incredulous look. “You actually buy this?”

He shrugged helplessly. “I tried man, but – “

“Both of you are just so stubborn!” Chorong cried out in frustration. “If only you’ll let it get past your thick skulls and really open your eyes and heart, you will realise that Joohee has been trying to make contact with us! You, especially,” she glared at me.

“I just lost my girlfriend,” I said dryly. “She was murdered and excuse me for not being understanding but I am working my off, cracking my thick skull apart trying to track down her killer!”

Chorong threw up her hands exasperatedly. “If only you’ll let her in, she has something crucial to your case. Something that you really need to know.”

I levelled her with a stare of my own. She challenged me back just as firmly. I swear I love Chorong to death, just like how a brother would always look after his little sister – but there are times where she’d just want to make me pull the ends of my hair and this is one of those heated moments.

For a second, I almost forgot that Woohyun was present too. He was quietly watching us from his seat – thoughts hard to read as he put on an unreadable expression. I couldn’t tell if he was with Chorong in this or if he too thinks, she might need help.

“I swear Chorong...if this is all just in your head – “

“It’s not,” a new voice spoke up and this time, I think my heart actually stopped beating for a whole moment. I knew that voice – I will always recognise it anytime, anywhere. Even in my death, it will always be with me.

“You can hear me clearly now, don’t you?” she asked, this time sounding happier and relieved than she had been in days. “Turn around, Minhyuk.”

I did.

“Chorong isn’t lying, is she?” Joohee smiled her endearing, sweet smile. My heart was about to burst any second now. “You can see me.”

I felt happy, confused, heartbroken and ashamed all in one. Happy – because I never thought I would be able to see ever again. Confused – because this all just seemed to surreal, almost impossible. Heartbroken – because deep down I knew there would be a second goodbye, when I haven’t really gotten over the first one.

And finally ashamed, because I had failed her – the only woman I’ve ever truly loved.

I didn’t even realise it, but all of a sudden she was by my side, delicately my cheek. I could feel it – I could feel her cold touch as though it was burning through my skin.

And when she pressed her lips gently against my cheek, I felt as though I had died too and I was already in heaven – with her.

God, why...

Woohyun’s ringtone snapped me back to reality, and in a matter of seconds, the painful truth sank in. Joohee was gone, but her spirit was still here because she has some unfinished business and it made me uneasy that she isn’t resting in peace.

“Minhyuk,” my partner called out. “They’ve got one of those guys. He’s being held in custody right now. We should go and – “

“No, wait. Stop,” Joohee’s voice rang out loud and clear for everybody to hear. At least, that was what I thought.

“We should listen to her,” I said in a dazed voice. “She has something for us.”

“Who?”

“Joohee, of course,” I said matter-of-factly.

“What are you talking about?”

I whirled around, just in time to see Chorong shaking her head at her boyfriend and saying, “You can’t see her, can you? You don’t know that Joohee’s here with us.”

Woohyun looked like he was about to give up fighting with her about ghost Joohee. “Chorong, I – “

“She’s telling the truth,” I interjected, glancing sideways at my dead girlfriend who was nodding away at me. “Joohee is really here. I can see her. I can hear her – and she’s telling us not to go.”

Woohyun threw his jacket back onto the couch and groaned out loud. “Wow Joohee, do you really hate me that much? Why won’t you show yourself to me? Hey, I’m your friend too okay.”

I heard her giggling next to me, and instinctively, I reached for her hand. It felt like I had grabbed it, but I wasn’t really touching her. I couldn’t quite explain.

“Minhyuk,” she turned to me and her smile disappeared. “You’ve got the wrong guy. They weren’t the ones who killed me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Chorong, what is going on?” I heard Woohyun asking in the background.

Chorong started filling him in, just as Joohee said, “I would know if it was one of the gang members, but this man who killed me that night – something was different about him. He didn’t strike to me as one of them. I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere before.”

“His eyes were as black as charcoal, and menacingly cold as he the knife into me.” I could see her shuddering at the memory and I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around her.

My own body was shaking with rage, and I didn’t realise I was – not until Chorong came up to me and tentatively placed a hand on my arm.

“I didn’t know why he wanted my locket so badly, but I’m glad I managed to hold on to it,” Joohee finished with a smile. “It made me feel less afraid of dying.”

“Joohee...”

“You cannot let Chorong out of your sight! Please tell Woohyun that too. He’s coming after her next.” Her two eyes shone with genuine fear and worry – that even Chorong took a step back at her outright warning.

I held her by both of her shoulders firmly and looked right into her eyes.

“Joohee, tell me – who is the man who did this to you?”

“I wished I know too. But Minhyuk...I remember he has a little butterfly tattoo on his right wrist – I saw it just before...”

“Okay, that’s enough,” I cut her off, not wanting to hear any of it for the second time. “I’m really sorry, Joohee.”

She touched either sides of my face and gently said, “Stop beating yourself up over it. If you want to make it up to me, catch this guy and keep Chorong safe. I will be able to rest in peace then.”

“I will,” I croaked out. “I promise.”

 It was a vow that I had to keep no matter what, because I couldn’t let her down, yet again.