As the days went on and Hoya spent a lot of time down in Busan to film the drama, he found himself thinking about Infinite’s leader more and more often.  Sure he kept worrying about the leader handling all those kids they called band mates, but he started thinking about other things too.

Whenever his character talked to his best friend about his feelings, Hoya just wanted to call Sunggyu on the phone and start gossiping about everything that popped into the older’s mind. Even though it was Sunggyu who was the one with all the secrets, after a while, Hoya felt like somehow he was the one with the secrets. He wasn’t sure what his secrets were, but maybe what was going on in his character’s head was starting to get into his own.

“Hoya!” Dongwoo shouted in his fellow rapper’s face. He was sitting on the couch next to Hoya, yet Hoya had yet to realize he was there. “What are you thinking about? You’ve been staring at the wall for like ten minutes at least.”

“Just thoughts,” Hoya shrugged, he honestly had no clue what he was thinking about. Every time he blinked he got flashes of Sunggyu on the back of his eyelids. He just kept seeing Sunggyu’s face when he talked about his past experiences with love. There was just something about that look that haunted Hoya.

“Wanna talk about them?” Dongwoo suggested as well as poked Hoya in the cheek, just for the fun of it.

“I wish I could,” Hoya sighed. “I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“Well you know I’m always here for you, right?” Dongwoo was being supportive. “Even if you don’t know what’s really going on.”

Hoya wanted to try and say something, after all with all his focus on the drama and Sunggyu lately, he hadn’t been talking much to his best friend. “I just keep getting caught up in everything.”

“Like your drama?” Dongwoo tried to understand, but it was a little hard to understand what the younger was going for. “Or is it something else?”

“I think it may be something else.” Hoya admitted honestly.  “How come you don’t date a lot?”

Dongwoo stared at the younger in confusion, not sure how they jumped from Hoya’s drama to his own dating life. But if that’s what the other wanted to talk about, that’s what they were going to talk about, “We can’t really date like a normal person, you know? Everyone’s waiting for us to mess up or just to throw a scandal at us. It’s kind of weird, for everyone else love is a beautiful thing, but for us, it’s a scandal and we’ll get into trouble.”

“It’s even worse for guys who like guys, huh?” Hoya asked, thinking about Sunggyu but knowing he couldn’t say it out loud. Actually, recently that’s how Hoya was, thinking about the leader but not saying it out loud.

“Yeah, I guess.” Dongwoo started looking at Hoya suspiciously. “Why? Are you thinking that you maybe are a guy who likes guys?”
 

“What?” Hoya’s eyes widened as he freaked out so badly he fell off of the couch he was sitting on. “My character! That’s him. I’m not my character!”

Dongwoo laughed and helped pull the other back onto the couch. “I know your character is, but what does that have to do with me? Your character is a normal guy, but we’re idols. I was thinking maybe you were asking why idols really don’t date.”

Hoya thought about it for a second and Dongwoo was right. He wanted to know about idols, but why did he want to know that? For Sunggyu?

“Okay, you’ve been acting really weird these past few weeks, we thought it was just because your drama or something since it’s your first, but I think you’re really weird.” Dongwoo sounded genuinely concerned.

But Hoya couldn’t share with the other rapper because if he did then he’d be outing Sunggyu and it wasn’t his place to tell everyone the leader’s biggest secret.

Luckily he didn’t have to explain himself because Sungyeol and Sunggyu walked into the living room, both laughing at something between themselves.

“Hyung!” Hoya smiled when he spotted the leader.  He had just returned from Busan a few hours ago and this was his first time seeing Sunggyu for the past few days.

“Ouch, and I’m ignored,” Sungyeol fake pouted at the dancer. “Do you not love me anymore?”

“I never did to begin with,” Hoya joked with the tall boy.

“What are you two talking about?” Sunggyu collapsed onto the couch on Hoya’s free side.

Dongwoo began to answer, but Hoya knew just how honest the second oldest was and decided to cut him off, “Nothing. Just nothing.”

“You’re boring,” Sunggyu joked and stood up, “Me and Yeol are gonna go out and eat, did you guys wanna come, too?”

“I just ate,” Dongwoo shrugged, “Plus I’m gonna start working on some raps, so I’ll just stay here.”

“I’ll go!” Hoya jumped up. For some reason he decided he wanted more of the leader’s attention and therefore was not about to let him go grab food with only Sungyeol.

Hoya quickly ran into his room to grab a light sweatshirt, and then returned to the living room where only Sunggyu was waiting. “Where’d Yeol go?”

“To change, trying to be more discrete.” Sunggyu joked. He then had a more serious look on his face, “But really, what were you and Dongwoo talking about? You had a weird look on your face like you were distressed or something.”

“Just life,” Hoya shrugged. He wasn’t sure what they had been talking about. He was unsure of pretty much everything he was thinking and doing lately.

“Have you been listening to me? Are you just focusing on your drama and letting me handle everything here?” Sunggyu teased the younger and ruffled his hair.

Hoya shrugged, “A little bit. But I can’t help but worry about you guys, too. You’re kind of the biggest people in my life. I always worry about you-you guys. All of you.”

“Well we worry about you, too, so try and be a good boy and relax.” Sunggyu was checking Hoya over to make sure he didn’t look too stressed, and the dancer was kind of enjoying the one on one interaction with his leader. It had been too long since he got this kind of attention.

“I’m relaxed now.” Hoya shot the older a bright smile, but instantly backed away and changed his expression when Sungyeol came into the room.

But Sungyeol had no clue what was going on anyways. Instead practically ran to Sunggyu’s side and pulled on his shirt sleeve, “Alright, let’s go. I’m hungry. Come on. Let’s go. Feed me.”