Author's Note

Sorry gaiz, i keep you waiting for like 103943 years and i give you a 6 page chapter (let's not forget cruddy) like less than 2,500 words

so to make it up... for you guys, i'll do another update late this week/early next week :)

I PROMISE
 

           A gentle knock on the door stirs the boy from his dazed state. Not moving an inch from his seated position as the familiar fumbling and clanging of metal on metal greets his ear drums.

            “Junhongah, I’m here to tell you that I have an audition today” Yongguk calls out, kicking off his sneakers at the door before sinking down into the sofa. “Wouldn’t want you to get worried and what not if I didn’t answer my phone”

            “As if” Junhong scoffs in response.

            It’s become a tradition for the past month or so. The exact time, he can’t really remember. But it’s been a long while. Yongguk would visit almost every day, taking him out for lunch, dinner or even breakfast, for anything they were in the mood for that moment.

            “Are you sure you don’t bribe all the restaurants around here to never let me pay?” Yongguk teases lightly before slugging an arm around the younger male.

            “Flattering yourself again, you’re just too slow. Plus, I got the money, and you obviously don’t”

            “But I don’t like freeloading” Yongguk almost whines, pulling the blonde closer to him.

            “Really? Maybe I should find another old man that likes to freeload to accompany me everywhere I go”

            “Che. Fine. You can’t say that you don’t enjoy my company though” The grin on Yongguk’s face only widens as the younger male only hums in response before prying himself away from the his arm hold. The boy guides himself towards the kitchen before pouring himself a drink. “You want anything?”

            “I’ll just take whatever you have” Yongguk lets out a quick sigh, at least Junhong wasn’t denying anything at this point. At least they were getting somewhere. And progress was definitely refreshing in their stagnating relationship. Two equally stubborn personalities with feigned strong exteriors didn’t exactly help with the emotional part of their relationship.

            “By the way” Junhong whispers as he clicks the fridge close, returning to the sofa with two cups in hand.

            “Shouldn’t I be the one carrying the drinks?”

            “You say it like I don’t do this often. By the way” placing the two half filled cups down on the coffee table, he sinks back onto the couch. “Good luck on your audition today”

            “Thanks Junhongah! Nice to know you still care about your hyung” Yongguk practically beams, a gummy smile already stretched on his visage.

            “Maybe I do” he mumbles quietly while snuggling into the warmth that has the name of Bang Yongguk. The older male could only smirk at the younger’s response. They were definitely getting somewhere.

            “Yah! Am I some sort of a human body pillow to you?”

            “Maybe, only good for body warmth and extra comfort” Junhong flashes a grin he has reserved for Yongguk.

            The older male’s heart warmed at the sight. Junhong’s smile was the one thing he would never get tired of. “You’re cute as a button” Yongguk leans in quietly and rubs his nose against the unseeing boy’s button one.

            “Ew, you’re creepy,” Junhong jabs jokingly before pulling away from the male in feigned annoyance.

            “Meanie” Yongguk says in the highest, cutest voice he can manage, only to have his voice crack in the two syllables.

            Junhong bursts into violent laughter, tipping over onto the older male’s lap, clutching onto his stomach tightly. Yongguk doesn’t make a sound nor does he move. Instead, he watches the scene, his mind sketching the scene permanently into his brain.

            The way the boy’s eyes crinkled and his pearly whites that remained visible for far longer than ever was absolutely unique and breathtaking. Yongguk makes a mental note of trying to make the boy laugh more often.

            “Oh my god!” Junhong manages to choke out between sharp inhales of oxygen. “Even someone with a voice like yours can have a voice crack” The blonde finds his body automatically curling into a tight ball, his head still resting on the older male’s lap. Too involve in his laughing fit to notice their position, Junhong continues to rock slowly back and forth on the other male’s thighs.

            Yongguk’s breathe hitches as the boy in his lap comes to a halt. Running his hands through that mess of curly blonde hair, Yongguk finds himself smiling affectionately at curled up ball of a boy in his lap. Junhong lets out a few more quick giggles before relaxing into the older male, unintentionally leaning into Yongguk’s hand on his hair. “Keeke you’re like a tiny cat”

            “What the , you mood ruiner” Junhong groans before getting up from his previous position.

            “Aw… kitty! Come back” Yongguk continued to tease, honestly a bit sad as the warmth lifted from his lap.

            “Urgh why do I put up with you” the boy rolls his eyes playfully.

            “Because you love me” Junhong only scoffs in response. The wide grin already stretched on Yongguk’s face couldn’t widen more when the younger boy refrained from denying. “It’s okay, I love you too” Yongguk chimes playfully, moving to pinch the blonde’s cheeks.

            “Keep doing that and people are going to call you a e” Junhong says rather casually. Yongguk deadpans at the words, of course, he had almost forgotten. Junhong was only sixteen.

            Sixteen

            “I was kidding” the younger male says quietly as soon as he senses the slight change in Yongguk’s mood. He was sensitive like that. After all, losing one of the sixth senses does have its benefits. “Yah! Old man, I was really kidding”

            “I know” it comes out as a quiet, near whimper, the otherwise coarse voice of the older man sounding awfully desolate.

            They let the silence engulf them. Junhong’s never resting speaker made no low humming noises or loud thumping bass. Rather, it was flipped ‘off’, his MP3 taking an unusual break.

            “Junhongah” Yongguk manages to utter through the silent air.

            The younger male hums in response, unseeing eyes closed gently.

            “Can you rap for me?”

            “What?” Junhong’s eyes shot open at the older male words. To be honest, he doesn’t even remember telling Yongguk that he rapped. “Shouldn’t you be doing that for me?” he says as soon as the effects of the shock began to fade away.

            “Maybe some other day…” Yongguk in a deep breath, feeling the air filling his lungs. Maybe it was such a good idea to ask in the first. The older male quickly shakes away the thought and his lips nervously. “I just… I just need some encouragement for today. I’m kind of nervous” Yongguk mumbles, honestly, after all the rejections, it was only normal for him to be apprehension about handing himself over to a panel of judges. It was literally like jumping into a pool of piranhas or sharks with a gaping wound. Overall, just not a good idea. But hey, it wasn’t like he chose what his passions were going to be. They chose him. Or rather, God chose him. Some people are born with a dream, so strong that they can’t help but to spend their entire lives chasing it down, no matter how unrealistic they might seem.

            Because that’s how things were.

            And the way Yongguk saw it, the more fleeting a dream seems to be, the more you tend to chase it. And that dream always, by the slightest of distances, escapes your grasp.

            Because the one thing not ordained to you is the one thing you truly crave.

            Because you desire what you absolutely cannot acquire.

            Because the thrill of the chase is the cruelest sense of pleasure, intoxicating, addicting and unquenchable.

            And that was exactly why he needed Junhong.

            He needed someone to tell him that he could do it.

            Hell, even if someone said it a thousand times, he wouldn’t believe it. But if it was coming from Junhong, then maybe he’ll put in the extra effort to try and believe it.

            Junhong begins to clear his throat. The sincerity in Yongguk’s voice honestly cut right through his heartstrings. It hurt him to know that Yongguk was that nervous about doing something that should only bring enjoyment. Gnawing at his bottom lip nervously, Junhong pushes away the spitting comments he has regarding the music industry as a whole. Instead he chooses to run one of his recently written raps in his mind. They can sulk about the music industry some other time, but right now, Yongguk needed all the encouragement he could get.

            “We disregard the most important

            The dearest notions forgotten

            What happened to passions in the heart?

            What happened to inspiration, as the soul’s nutrition?

            The failure of this new generation, the bleakness of this future

            I know it’s hard to keep that head held up high

            To keep that fire in the heart burning bright

            But for this new generation put on a fight

            Realize, in importance, faith in yourself, rises above all

            So desensitize your heart and build up those walls

            Then that trash talk won’t really matter

            Then there’s really nothing you can’t conquer”

            Junhong’s voice finishes ringing throughout the empty apartment, leaving a rather empty and tense environment behind. The message in his rap lingers within the atmosphere. The boy his lips nervously, curiously gazing at Yongguk’s visage. Never before has he experienced such a desperate desire to see the scene before him. He wanted to see what Yongguk was thinking. Granted a lot could be taken from his breathing rate and silence, Junhong legitimately wanted to see the effect of his message on another human.

            Yongguk could literally not stop smiling, unsure of why he hadn’t asked the younger male to rap for him earlier. “Thank you,” He manages to whisper quietly. “I really really needed that” the older male sighs before running through a hand through his hair.

            Junhong’s head snaps back towards the elder, a small smile curving up onto his lips. Feather light touches dance across his cheek. The fingertips grazing across the features on his visages leave a trail of goosebumps on his skin. Junhong almost shivers at the gentle contact, feeling as if he could literally melt away. “Have you wondered why life was so unfair to you?” The breath fanning across his nose was a telltale sign of just how close they were. He almost wants to protest, he almost wanted to push him away. Almost. Yongguk just continues to his thumb across the younger’s cheek, caressing the impossibly smooth, alabaster skin. “How could life be so unfair to you?” Yongguk continues and honestly Junhong feels slightly afraid at the uncharacteristic behavior. It was as if the older male was possessed.

            And maybe he was possessed by some random tangent.

            Despite his reservations, Junhong doesn’t move. He doesn’t pull away; he doesn’t do anything that would otherwise signal discomfort. He just stares, blinking profusely at the ridiculous thought that Yongguk’s visage would enter his mind. Of course it doesn’t and the boy could only let out a bitter chuckle. Maybe life wasn’t fair.

            “How could watch as someone like you suffer… I’ll never understand” Yongguk breaks his focus on the angel’s visage, his head hanging loosely from his neck, hand still caressing the boy’s cheek. “What did an angel like you ever do to deserve this bull?” When Yongguk raises his head to meet the boy’s unseeing, piercing gaze, there were tears in his eyes. He gazes with watery orbs, hoping, wishing and praying that somehow Junhong could see this moment. The thought of someone seeing himself cry never crossed his mind before. It was probably something he bolted away from, showing emotions in front of others. But Junhong wasn’t just some other someone. Junhong was Junhong, an angelic boy that somehow managed to stumble in his desolate life. He leans in again, breathe fanning Junhong’s visage. He studies the boy’s features close up, noting how the skin was as smooth as he had imagined, porcelain like, pore-less. He suppresses the urge to lean in further and graze the canvas with his lips.

            “Am I interesting to stare at?” Junhong mumbles after a long silence.

            “You’re so precious” Yongguk finds himself repeating those words, thumb still moving across his cheeks. “So ing precious,” A tears rolls down his cheek. And Yongguk could only blink as the boy’s hand rises to caress his own cheek, wiping away that lone tear that had escape his grip. “How did you?” Yongguk stutters.

            Junhong only smiles gently in response, letting his hand drop back down to his side. “I don’t know, I felt it I guess” Junhong unconsciously snuggles closer to the hand still on his right cheek, tilting towards the heat as ue clutches the fabric atop his chest. “I felt it here.” It was true. He did feel something stirring in his heart on top of the usual sensation in the pit of his stomach. He had only assumed Yongguk was shedding tears for him. “I guess I got lucky that it was the right eye” he chuckles lightly.

            Yongguk hums, bringing the other hand to cup the boy’s cheeks before touching their foreheads lightly together. “Just for this moment, feel me, see me.” The older male lets go of Junhong’s cheeks and cups his hands instead, bringing the pale, slender fingers to his own visage. Guiding them around his features, over his forehead, his closed eyes, nose, mouth, every inch of his face, he just wanted Junhong to see him, see him see him for the second time.

            “Good luck” Junhong mouths, finally finding it in his heart to push the older male away. “You have an audition to make”

            “Yeah… I guess I do” Yongguk says almost solemnly.

            “Try to sound more enthusiastic about it dude, if you can’t sell to them that you really want this, they’ll never even consider you.”

            The elder of the two chuckles loudly before taking a glance at his watch, “oh I gotta go, I’ll be back after okay?”

            Junhong hums quietly in response, “so when do I get to listen to you rap?” just as Yongguk moves to slip his sneakers on.

            “Oh, look up Jepp Blackman or Soul Connection” he adds with a quick wink before fleeting past the doorway. 

As always the italicized is mai own lyrics~