Chapter 6

       The days following your saeeomma's funeral slipped by, you have been so depressed and miserable but always found a way to divert your attention so you would feel less painful.

       You only saw TOP a few times after your saeeomma's death and wonder how was TOP doing? But then realized maybe TOP wanted to be alone or maybe he only wants to open up with BigBang, you sighed as you felt weird that you wanted to be the ONLY one he opens up with and who comforts him.  You felt like you were slowly becoming his possessive wife... His possessive SHAM wife at least.

       One morning, you saw TOP he greeted you but he was in a rush like he was avoiding you to see him in that state, well clearly TOP was still in his grieving process... you three were.

       After he left the house you also went out, told Haera that you'll be back before or after lunch then slid inside TOP's BMW since he used the Lamborghini.

        It was a very lovely day, a perfect weather yet you felt so gloomy. You went to the beach thinking the scenery might lift up your spirits. You walked along the sandy shores, lift up your head and enjoyed the breeze.

       You remembered your saeeomma, and the memories you shared that had been so special. It was something you would treasure for the rest of your life. Suddenly your thoughts were diverted to your marriage to TOP. An alliance conceived from the umma you both adored.

       With your saeeomma's death, there was no longer any need for pretence. Despite any resolution you made, you were powerless to stop the acute sensations TOP was able to arouse, and you began to hate yourself for the way you responded to the slide of his hand over your smooth skin, the touch of his mouth on your own.

       Yet there was a natural need to lose yourself in his lovemaking, to become so caught up with the wild surge of emotions that you forgot except the magic of the moment. Afterwards you slept, only to wake and face the reality of each new day.

        A risky alliance, you accepted, aware of the complexity of your own emotions. You had doubt that TOP viewed the marriage as highly successful union for it tied several loosed ends clearly together. TOP’s ah buhji’s bequest was now within his control. TOP had a wife for whom he held caring regard; someone he could rely on to act as his social hostess.

        A sudden chill whipped through your body as you asked yourself;

Is it enough?

I mean… come to think of it…

Could I possibly take it if the mere affection is no longer sufficient and he starts to seek attention from other else…

Like… like… Jang So Ra?

God, If Seunghyun oppa turns away from me again.

I DON’T WANT TO admit this but… I could… I could die…I know… I know…

I have the wealth, properties more than millions and I can get anything I possibly want in this world yet…

What I really want in this word is way beyond the price…

It’s crazy to think that I’m already married to him, occupied his house and even shared his bed. But the million dollar question is…

Could I possibly occupy his heart?

What a wishful thinking but could I dare try again?

Okay! I’m crazy for wanting to have it all!

*sighs* the only sensible thing I should do is to confront him, ask for a divorce the go back to my former life in the Philippines.

At least if I do the sensible thing, it would be less painful than going with status quo and finishing out somewhere along the road he had taken a mistress.

Ugh! All this thinking makes me nuts!

Maybe I’m only acting this way because I’m hungry…

Should grab something to eat…

         You went to the nearest restaurant you could possibly find then afterwards you headed back to the villa. You saw Haera and the other maids cleaning up the house.

Haera followed you behind the stairs. “you-ssi… uhmm… Seunghyun-ssi asked me to tell you this since he couldn’t reach your phone. He asked me to remind you about a dinner tonight.”

“AISH! SHIBAL!” you cursed out which shocked Haera. “Oh… Mianhae Haera-ssi I just totally forgot about that but thanks anyway.” You smiled at her then ran to your room.

Ack! Chincha!

How could I forget about that?

The fundraising that umma supported for years now was scheduled tonight!

I should hurry and find something suitable for tonight then beautify myself.

        You managed to find the perfect gown for that event, you used the gown that was given to you by 2ne1 as a wedding gift and you looked stunning in it.

        TOP looked so-damn-hot-and-gorgeous in his suit which no doubt can make any women’s heart melt in just an instant.

“Ready?”

“To enter the battle?”

“Don’t you wanna go you-ah?”

You gave a deep exhale. “Oppa I’m not looking forward to the predictable inspection we’ll receive tonight.”

“Aren’t you being too sensitive, love?”

You shrugged. “Maybe?”

“You know umma gave a lot of her time and effort to this particular organization… and as their children ah-buhji asked us to represent for umma since he had business to attend to.” TOP reminded you quietly.

“Ah buhji…”

“Don’t worry he wouldn’t want to miss this event, it’s too important for umma so he’ll come immediately as soon as he can.” TOP smiled as he went closer to you. “And I’m sure… sure that umma would’ve wanted us to represent her for tonight.”

        You were unable to suppress the faint quickening of your pulse at his stupid handsome killer smile and at his nearness. He had the strangest effect on your stability, making you aware of primitive alchemy, a dramatic pull of senses that was devastating.

You managed to hold his level gaze and gave a slight smile. “Ne oppa… I guess so…”

        The drive into the city took longer than expected due to the traffic but you both managed to get there in time. It was around 6 when you both entered the huge formal lounge just next to the banquet-room.

        You stood there beside TOP, greeting numerous acquaintances who paused to offer their condolences and some who knew about the wedding offered both congratulations and condolences.

“you-ah! How are you my dear?”

        You turned your head slightly as you recognized a familiar voice. You couldn’t help but smile in wonder at the beautiful half Korean-German lady infront of you. She was part of a committee and a generous benefactor whose tireless efforts had helped raised hundreds of billions of won over the years.

“Tanya ajeomma!” you greeted her with your sweetest smile.

“Yah! Yah! Call me unnie! You always call me ajumma it makes me look so old.” Tanya smiled.

“Eyy… but you are old.” You chuckled. “Tanya ajum-ONI… Okay I’ll start calling you ajum-ONI… I’ll speak the word ajum in a whisper but ONI will be loud so people can heart that I’m calling you eonnie. Sound better?”

“Shhh keep your voice down. Don’t say that I’m old in public because people see me 5 years younger than my real age. and calling me that doesn’t do any good you know. You’re still calling me an ajumma that way. Aish!” Tanya and you laughed. “Oh by the way… I’m so happy to hear about the wedding but I’m so devastated to hear about your lovely umma.” She looked like she was about to cry, the brightened considerably. “A good crowd tonight eh? With luck, the children’s hospital will acquire more rooms and more advance hospital equipments. You know you-ah… You’re a sweet girl.” She reached out and patted your arm.

        With surprising flexible movements Tanya turned and moved through the groups of mingling guests. Exactly at 6:30 the door of the banquet-room opened and guests were lead to their table.  

“Oppa who are we seated with?” You asked as TOP took your hands.

“Waeyo? Does it even matter?”

        Only the most stupid planner would place Jang So-Ra at your table and you gave sigh of relief when you saw that TOP’s hot ex-girlfriend was nowhere to be found.

        But your relief turned to dismay when the hot model made a dramatic entrance halfway through the 1^st course. Attired in this black elegant evening gown, all eyes on her as he glided in the large room towards her designated table just 2 tables away from you.

        It was greatly uncomfortable to see Jang So-Ra again. After everyone was finished eating, the entertainment for the evening was a 30 minute fashion parade by both male and female featuring famous designers from Korea and Givenchy, after which the catwalk was disassembled while coffee was served enable those who chose to dance to take the floor.

        It signalled opportunity for friends to move from one table to another and you knew that Jang So-Ra would come in a blink of an eye.

“Seunghyun-ah!... you-ah…”

        Her beautiful smile was blinding as she slid into the vacant seat next to TOP, which is your dangye appa’s, and you matched it with the weak version of your own, aware that your actions were the subject of veiled assumption by several guests.

“Jang So-Ra-ah” you responded with friendly politeness, while inside cursing TOP for the seemingly warm greeting he extended.

this!

How the hell do wives cope in the presence of their husband’s former mistress?

Shibal! Wae? Wae do I feel so hurt?

Chill… Chill… I have to relax and act normal…

“Poor ajumma…” Jang So Ra said with faked sympathy as she lifted her hand and placed it against TOP’s arm. “Seunghyun-ah you must be so lost without your umma.”

The hell are you doing?!

Uhmm… Hello?

ARE YOU SERIOUSLY BLIND?

His wife is here! GOD!

I… I… *breathes in*

I have to relax…

Steady you-ah…

Steady… Calm down girl…

Just… Just go with the flow…

“As well as being my umma, she was also my bestfriend.” You offered with honesty.

“Ohh… How………………………… charming.” Jang So Ra expressed before shifting her attention back to TOP. “Seunghyun I’m throwing a party tomorrow night.” She paused, and then gave a seductive smile. “My apartment… anytime after 7…”

        You unconsciously deeply inhaled and held your breath as you waited for TOP to answer.

“I don’t think we can go.” TOP said.  Only you and possibly Jang So Ra saw that his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Perhaps another time?”

Jang So Ra recovered quickly. “Of course Seunghyun!”

        Dangerous shift you frowned secretly for it unsurprisingly led to how often TOP had woken in Jang So Ra’s bed and was closely followed by examination of Jang So Ra’s obvious expertise in the art of .

        You wanted to escape, except that such action would be observed and critized, only to say it was immature. So you stayed, sitting seemingly relaxed, offering a polite exposition when occasions demanded… which wasn’t often, for Jang So Ra made it deliberately clear that TOP was the focus of her attention.

        Eventually Jang So Ra rose to her feet gave you a smile then touched TOP’s shoulder then left (thank goodness!).

TOP checked his phone and saw one message. “you-ah…”

“Ne oppa?” you replied.

“It seems like ah buhji won’t make it.”

“MWO? How come?”

“Well he couldn’t leave the company… it says here that the company won’t manage to do this without him. He really wanted to come but he can’t. He’s now in a meeting.” TOP closed his phone then faced you while trying not to smile. “you-ah ah buhji told me to face you seriously just to tell you that he’s really sorry he couldn’t come. He’ll make it up to you so don’t get mad at him. If Seunghyun pissed you off there I’m allowing you to kick him hard and embarrass him in front of the crowd.” TOP started to chuckle.

You laughed. “Oppa ah buhji can sometimes be so dramatic and weird. The last sentence didn’t made sense. Okay I was mad but how could you not forgive a person like that?”

Suddenly TOP spoke out of the blue. “you-ah dance with me.”

        You forced yourself to meet TOP’s eyes, and your eyes were wide and unwavering as the dark comprehensible conducted a stead appraisal of your features.

        TOP took hold of your hand, easing his fingers on your own, and you felt them tighten as you attempted to pull yours away.

        There really wasn’t much you could do except obey at least, not in public and with a gracious smile you rose to your feet and allowed him to lead on the dance-floor.

        You were a skilled partner, possessed of a natural grace and you moved into his arms with ease, feeling the usual flow of warmth on contact with his body.

        TOP held you close, his hold lightly possessive and had the weirdest feeling that if you attempted to escape he would refuse to release you.

        TOP didn’t offer as much as a word, although once could have sworn you felt his lips brushed against your hair.

        When the music changed, TOP led you back to the table, his hand secured against your back.

“Since ah buhji is no longer coming and we are no longer needed here… would you like to leave?”

        You turned slightly and looked at him carefully. You didn’t want to stay, but you weren’t sure you could bear to be alone with him. You knew for certain that you didn’t want to sleep in the same house as him… well at least not for tonight.

“Do you have to do wake up early and go somewhere for tomorrow oppa?” you asked him politely with a smile that brought faint narrowing to his eyes.

“No… But I’m going to the dorm same time as usual.”

“Well… if that is the case… I’ll leave it up to you.”

You saw an evanescent twinkle in his eyes then it was gone. “I think we’ve done our job. It will take at least maybe 15 minutes to reach the door?”

        It took slightly longer than you two expected as you both paused at one table to another, exchanging words with businesses and social acquaintances as you both went.

        TOP’s family business commanded vast respect, as did the son of the owner, TOP, as well as the owner, your dangye appa. TOP’s presence at any social gathering was a considered triumph, and you could only admire his effortless ease in fielding several invitations to up-coming events.

        You were surprised to see that it was almost close to midnight when you both reached the car. When you two finally managed to settle in inside, you leaned back against the head-rest.

        There was no traffic once you both got to the highway and you were grateful for the soft music drifting from the radio, for it disallowed the need to make a conversation.

        The streets near TOP’s house were really quiet, and in no time at all TOP brought the car to the halt inside the garage.

Once you both got inside TOP opened the lights and moved towards the lounge. “Want a drink?”

You gave a shrug as you followed him. “Sure why not oppa… I’ll just take a light brandy.”

        With no difficulty TOP removed his tie, and then slipped free the top two buttons of his shirt. The action changed his appearance quite dramatically as he shed the outer trappings of state-of-the-art formality.

        Minutes later TOP placed a crystal glass in your hand, and you sipped from it slowly, feeling in the warmth steal through your body as the alcohol began to take effect.

        TOP projected an aura of concealed power, a unique complement of dangerous masculinity and sensuality that was absolutely y.

        Unbidden, a warm ache began deep inside you, slowly spreading throughout your body. It was damnable, perplexing, you pondered silently, hating him more at this precise moment than you had ever hated anyone in your life.

“Tired?”

“Oppa that’s a leading question.” You responded with forced lightness. “How do you expect me to answer?”

“Hmm… Why not with honesty?” His eyes narrowed faintly, and then assumed an expression of indolent amusement.

Your lips trembled slightly, and your eyes held hint of aching sadness. “I don’t want to sleep with you oppa.”

        He lifted a hand to your cheek, and you drew cringed away from the brush of his fingers as he trailed them along the edge of your jaw, and then slowly traced the throbbing cord at your neck.

        The breath seemed too catch in your throat and your eyes adhered to his, bright and intensely vulnerable.

“No?”

        His gentle question proved your downfall and you moved back a step, your body became rigid as you fought to control your emotions.

“Oppa just so you know… I won’t be a replacement.” Your voice was soundlessly mad and you were shaking inside.

“For who? For So Ra?” TOP engage in silkily, and you controlled the sudden shiver that feathered the touch of your skin.

“I don’t possess her…”

TOP cut in. “ual expertise?”

        Your eyes began to ache along with the rest of your body and you resisted the temptation to offer frivolous reply. “I can’t think of a better phrase for that.”  At last you agreed.

“There’s difference between a partner who performs the ual act like a mechanical doll, preoccupied with the financial rewards to be gained from the relationship.” Then he added. “And a delightfully warm woman who loses herself in the sharing of mutual joy.”

Your eyes widened measurably at his implication. “That’s… awful…” You whispered.

“That’s the truth you-ah…” TOP taunted with hateful sarcasm.

“I’m going back to my room…”

        Without another word you finished your drink then after placing the glass on the nearby table , you turned and walked towards the stairs not caring if TOP followed you or not.

        Upstairs you entered your room and undressed, removed your make-up, released your hair, took a shower, slipped into your night gown then went to bed.

        Suddenly thoughts of sharing the bed with TOP since your both married entered your mind but lying there and waiting for him to slide beside you was crazily impossible.

        For a long time you lay there staring outside your window, feeling hopelessly torn by an army of complicated emotions.

How could I hate someone I loved?

Jealousy…

Damn it!

Jealousy is hell and damnation!

I had married with no illusions…

So what right do I have to be jealous?

        You were at the edge of your sleep when suddenly you heard the faint click of the door opening and the light was which blinded you for a moment. Your heart felt as if it popped out of your chest when you saw TOP stood beside your bed.

“Igeon jangnananya? Nu jogule? (Are you kidding me? Do you want to die?) I was this close to sleeping. What are you doing here?”

        Without a word he reached forward, removed the sheets then carried you.

“Yah yah yah yah yah! Oppa! Leave me alone.”

“If you don’t want to make love, that’s your choice.” He spoke hatefully as he turned off the lights and walked from the room. “But from now on we WILL share the same bed.”

“Doesn’t it matter that I might choose not to?” you cried, greatly tired by his inherent strength and unconquerable will.

“Not in the least.” He said as he walked the short distance to his room.

“Shibal! Geu Saeki!” you cursed, struggling to be free of him but failing desolately.

        Without another word TOP lowered you on to the bed, then slid in to lie beside you, and you rolled on to your side away from him, curling into a protective ball, too tense to consider sleep.

        You remained still for what it seem an age, almost afraid to move, aware of his resting form mere inches away.

        More than anything you would like to turn and hit him with angry fists, to verbally assault him for behaving like a dominant and oppressive monster. Except that if you did it would have only one ending and your victory would be no victory at all.

I'm so sorry for updating only now... *cries*

But I'm happy I'm back here in AFF ^^ I've been gone for a almost like a month right? :'(

Just been so depressed... So many unfortunate events followed my friend HeaJung... My mom almost died on the 22nd of May... But she's fine now...May is my unlucky month...

But I promise you guys that my updating late won't happen again. *smile*

BTW I just want to ask should I change TOP's attitude?

Because I got a feedback that TOP's is scary here? Should I or should I not?

 I know the chapter today isn't much but I'll try my best to make the next chapters better ^^

So thank you so much for sticking with me  

See you soon guys! I'll be updating soon PROMISE! ^^

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