--Eunhyuk’s POV—

Donghae is ignoring me this days .. why he’s doing that ? he was so nice with me, or was it just me who imagined that ? no no .. i don’t ,, i’ve to know what’s going on with him
i must remember everything ,,

~~~~~

After i woke up .. i really didn’t know why i lost conscience .. i tryed to remember , but i had a terrible headeach then ,when i asked Hyeyeon  she didnt give me mush information saying that i hadnt control on the ride and i fall , and that the important thing is that i’m alive , I was happy hearing those carring and sweet words thus  i gave her a hug ;  Donghae entered then the room and saw us .. i couldn’t help but remember each time that sad look he had when he saw us ,he was remembering his girlfriend yet again i guess…

We exvhanged some words , and i knew that he stayed with me all the time too , which warmed my heart .

I stayed 2 weeks in the hospital .. Hae didn’t left me even for  one minute , he was always taking care of me , buying me delecious food , helping me to move out if I need to go to someplace , i was feeling so happy , even if Hyeaoyeon kept visiting me as well , but somehow her presence wasn’t as confortable as Donghae’s , with Hae , i twas like .. paradise .

One day .. he was helping me changing my clothes .. because all my body was hurting me and I couldn’t change them by myself ..while he help me put on my last arm in the shirt, I didn’t stop looking at his angelique face , innocent smile and have so beautiful features ..
But what is this strange feeling when he touch me ? I looked at him and he smiled that innocent smile of hima gain and continued.. my heart was beating hard , but why is this ?

can it be.. can it be that i migh feel something for him ?? feelings  that i couldn’t never feel when i’m with Hyeoyeon .

No ! stupid head !! Quit it ! What i am thinking about ? This are usuless ideas .. i have Hyeoyeon the girl that i want as my wife in the future ! Yes that’s is.

«  Hyukjae are you okay ?? » he asked me , and that’s when i realised that he already finished and that I was frowning alone like a crazy , I nodded and smiled to him .

The days passes  .. Donghae just can’t stop giving me all his care and attention , and when i say ALL i mea nit because he passes each minute with me and dont even go to the group’s activities , in the opposite of HyeoYeon who just come for few mins .. with chocolate .. and leave .

But that scares me , each time I spend with him , talk , laugh , eat with him , each time he became panicked if something hurt me , each time he smile to me , each time he sings for me , all that scare the hell out of me , because in each time those feelings that i can’t even pronounce the name grow up and that just … terrify me .

 
Sometimes i keep quiet , just think of the possibilities , will Donghae accept ? an irony snort escaped my mouth , I turned to see the sleeping beauty in the couch , if I ever admit those feelings and give them a chance , if I ever try to confess the only person who’ll get hurt is him , being obliged to handel with our secret , ‘our’ ?? another snort escaped , reminding me how pathetic i look .

After thinking , I found that there’s only one way , to marry Hyeoyeon and give her all my time and my love ,, for I can see Hae as my best friend again  then i’ll forget this feelings .

So when I was healthy again I told all the members that i will marry her , thus the members didn’t like the idea and wanted me to forget it because i’m very young , each one gave me his opinion or advice , all  exept Donghae , who kept abnormaly quiet .

From that time he kept  ignoring me , without telling the reason , is it because of what I said ? didn’t he like the idea of marriage ? why he didn’t give me his opinion then , I was waiting for just his opinion , but he didn’t , or did I uncounsciously do something to him ?? why is he hiding it then , aren’t we bestfriend ??

Bestfriends… well at least for him .

But all this mysteriousness anoyed me , made me so frustrated , I asked all the members about that but no one could answer me .So i decided to ask him by myself , even if i was very nervous ,I can’t get him as what I want , l-lover, it’s so hard for me to say it , and i’m losing him now as a friend, I went to our dorm and had that conversation .

I couldn’t understand why he treat me like that until he suddenly burtst out , tears flowing from his doe eyes while making remember about what happened before the accident and it’s when I understood everything , a sligh headeache accompagnied it , but I finally knew , why I had those newly feelings , why I began to keep the distance between me and Hyeoyeon far in my heart , why I don’t feel uncumfortable with her anymore , it’s because it’s her who caused that accident , and lied to me , my body and heart was giving me all the indices , but that silly mind just didn’t want to remember .

I stayed silent for a while still remembering everything
« t-the person who saved you despite the risk , was me ! I didn’t left you when you was uncousious .. i was there always waiting you » he continued , his cheeks so wet with tears , his eyes showing so mush hurt , i was sol ost , i wanted to hug him , but at that time i was so angry , why he’s telling me that just now ?!

«  oh really ??! and why didn’t you tell me befor? Why you kept ignoring me instead ! » i felt some tears peeking from my eyes too , but tried to prevent them falling

«  because of Hyeoyeon .. you,you  were happy with her and,  I didn’t want to ruin y-you smile »
«  I carried you for a mounth .. even if you were just seeing her ! Her who didn’t gave you even the half of what i’d gave you , I-i gave you everything i had hyuk- »  

«  n-no hae  i do-« 

«  and now .. you forgot all what I did and decide to marry that girl and throwing me away of your life !! is this how you treat your .. your fri .. frien .. »

He couldn’t finish speaking , his cracking voice reached its limit as rivers of drops started to fall from his beatiful eyes ..my heart hurted me a lot seeing him in this state

I lost control «  come here » , and I huged him leting him cry on my chest , was that the Donghae i knew ?? he looked so different , so broken and so fragile , i shut my eyes and warmed his trembling body , letting a tear escape from my close eyes.

Yes hae .. now I can understand you , Donghae.. I’m sorry .

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it's maby a simple fic , but my heart ached while writing donghae's part >o<