3 years ago...

heartbeat.That was all it took to fall in love with you all over again.

I was sitting on the edge of the cemented bench just outside our house. It was a rather gloomy Saturday. I was not supposed to go home in the middle of class days but i just have to. There were some issues but we remedied it. It has been tough with our family but i guess we'll get by. I checked my phone and waited for a text. Well, not that i expect anyone. It is the middle of school year and work so i was guessing no one's available. i crinkled my nose. a habit i could not seem to forgo.

"Blondie!" Heartbeat. I turned a round. and there he was waving on my direction...still wearing the same smile. i tried to blimk my thoughts away as i saw him with Jiyong. He was just leisurely taking his steps towards me. and here i was, trying to control the beats in my heart. Why does it have to be him? i gave him my best I-am-still-not-in-love-with-you-i-swear look.

sigh. I hate you Seubgri.

"Jiyong said you're here. and you're relly here." He said smiling like an idiot.my idiot. Jiyong waved and gave me a smile. I nodded. I was not really in the mood to play 'let's pretend i don't like you' with my heart right now. We sat on our balcony and talked about random things. It's amazing how I can hold back my thoughts and even my punch for punching this guy. It to be in a one sided love. but i think i the most for having a one sided love with a man named seungri.

"noona," i turned around and saw my teenage cousin coming out from the house. He eyed the two man on our balcony and manage to make a bow. "I'm going out for awhile." He said before heading outside the gate.

"Who was that?" Seungri asked.

"that was jongup.you know..my cousin." I answered lazily.

"that was jongup already?" My idiot said. "Wah. we surely are getting old." We talked about high school some more. they said there's going to be a class gathering again this summer. It was pretty much a lighthearted conversation consisting of seungri pestering me and jiyong actually just adding the salt to the wound. We were enjoying our conversation when Jiyong suddenly mentioned something.

"Hey, Seungri...remember two years ago?we had a gathering and i think...i don't really remember.you took Chaerin home..yeah..yeah..i think that was it....." He said something more but i could not hear it anymore. i spretended to be occupied on the space on the other side when i felt Seungri glanced at me. It suddenly became awkward. Jiyong must have felt it.

"ahh..i got to go. I have to buy something." He got up and dashed outside the house. How dare he! I was left alone with him again.

"I...Do you want some more juice?" That was me and my most awkward question ever.

"sure." and there goes he's awkward answer. I stood up and went to the kitchen. damn. i was busily stirring the juice when i felt his presence. It's scary really. The way i know it's him. It scares my heart.

"Blondie.." I shivered. He's voice was an octave lower. I stopped stirring. It was a dangerous place for me.a dangerous place for my heart. i took a deep breath. now is the perfect time to play  I-am-still-not-in-love-with-you-i-swear game.

"yeah..you need something?" I would like to give myself an oscars fo not faltering when his gaze was intently burning through me.

"Are you going to avoid this?" I felt a lump on my throat. I have been avoiding this conversation.no,scratch that. I have been

avoiding him for two years eversince that night. I walked away. tracing my steps back to the balcony. I felt him walk behind me.

I faced him.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" It was now or never.

"I don't." He answered.

"Do you love me the way I love you?"

Silence.

The lump on my throat started to well tears in my eyes. It was always like this. I knew it would end up like this.

"That's what i thought." A tear escaped. It was now my turn to walk away.

Damn you heartbeat.