He just vanished out of the blue and no one knew what had happened to him. For him, Ji Hyo never stopped grieving. In fact, his disappearance resulted in the disappearance of her self esteem and her genuine happiness.

 

Although she believed that he had left her, a horrible part of her hoped that he was dead, for this meant that he didnt mean to leave her. Ji Hyo berated herself for thinking that way, as guilt consumed her. She then came to a conclusion that she would hold onto to the hope that her Joo Ji Hoon would return for her. But, several years passed and he never did. 

 

This unfortunate incident took a toll on Ji Hyo's emotional well being and turned her into the bitter child she was in middle and high school. She turned against everyone, unwilling to connect emotionally for fear that someone else would leave. It was her against the world. And she felt that it was best. Thus, all that she wanted most was to be left alone. 

 

 

 

 

Ji Hyo took the loneliness in her stride. She psyched herself into believing that being alone meant that there wasn't anyone to tie her down. It also meant that there wasn't anyone to disappoint her or to leave her. 

 

For years, she would brave the torment, burying the pain deep within her chest. However, her pretence slowly evolved into a cruel reality. She found herself regarding existence as though from beyond the tomb, from another world; all was strange to her; She was, as it were, outside her own body and individuality; She was depersonalized, detached, cut adrift. Was this madness?

 

From then on, Song Ji Hyo lived with a sense of automation, going through the humdrum, mundane, motions of life but not experiencing it or participating in it. Ironically, the only thing that brought her back to reality was her idol and hero, Kim Jong Kook (Nero) oppa. She never knew why she was so drawn to him. Perhaps, it was because he was publicly going through a similar situation. At times, she would recall his story of suffering and it made her stronger. She knew that she wasn't the only one suffering. Somehow, she had a baseless conviction that Kim Jong Kook would emerge stronger and would eventually go on to become a top star. Knowing that, she pretended that he knew her and would somehow be disappointed in her. During these rare moments, she would vow never to let him down.