Featuring: Lee Jongsuk (actor)
Genre: sad
Title: I Want You To See Me

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I would never understand how someone so beautiful could look so sad. It kind of proves my theory that those people who are blessed in one way aren’t so blessed in others. In other words, we can’t have it all.

But looking at Choi Ara, everything seemed to have been handed to her: she had beautiful ebony-black hair, a fair and even complexion, the body every girl dreams of, the face of a princess, and a gentle personality to match. Her parents were rich and powerful in the society, but they always had time for her. She had true friends in school, friends who didn’t like her only because she was popular or rich, but the kind who really cares about her. She has everything anyone could ever want.

But every time I looked at Ara, especially in her light brown eyes, I would see a deep sadness that has puzzled me for a long time. Why would anything make her sad? Her life was supposed to be perfect.

I got my answers one night on my way home from school. I had stayed overtime to finish a project and by the time I got out, the sun was setting in the horizon. It seemed that the campus was empty already, because the sound of chatter was absent. I exited the school gates and was about to walk on when I heard a soft sob. I turned to see—surprise, surprise—Choi Ara, leaning against the brick wall with her hair over her face. Her shoulders were quaking.

I immediately approached her and asked what’s wrong.

“N-nothing,” she said and sniffed. She took her hanky and quickly wiped her face with it before looking up at me. “I’m fine, Jongsuk.”

“Uhm, no, you’re not. I could see that much.”

Ara smiled wider to prove her point, but she couldn’t fool me anymore. Her eyes were sadder than usual, and there were tear stains on her cheeks. I softened.

“Ara, come on, you can tell me,” I coaxed.

Just then, thunder rolled and rain began pouring. I had an emergency umbrella in my bag and put it over both of us. I waited for her to speak while listening to the sound of raindrops on the pavement and my umbrella. Then Ara lowered her head and her fragile frame shook again.

“Everyone says that I’ve got everything I want, but I don’t. I’ve got nothing, because I don’t have the one thing that really matters,” she choked, “because I don’t have him.”

I was stunned. Has she been in a relationship all this time? Was this the reason her eyes always looked so sad?

Ara’s tender hands curled into fists. “Am I ugly, then? Am I not rich enough? What do I lack that he can’t find it in himself to like me back?”

That’s it. I suddenly let go of my umbrella and wrapped my arms around Ara. I could feel her quaking under me, like she would break apart at any moment.

“If those are the things he requires, he will never really love you,” I said.

Ara went rigid. Then her shoulders went slack and her arms wrapped around my waist. Her tears, mixed with the rain, soaked my uniform top. I wanted to protect her; she didn’t deserve to feel like this. The most perfect girl in the world shouldn’t have to feel this kind of pain.

Ara and I grew up together, but we started growing apart when we stepped into middle school. I kept on watching over her as we grew up until this moment in high school. I found it curious that she didn’t answer any of the suitors she got, and that made me think I didn’t have the chance either. Now, I find out that this jerk is the reason why she never got to enjoy a relationship. When I find out who he is, he’s dead to me.

“Ara, believe me when I say this: you’re a beautiful, beautiful girl. Every guy wants to go out with you, save for this one who has been abusing you. You deserve to be loved the same way you love the people around you.”

Ara looked up at me, her face so confused and fragile and sad. I wiped away her tears with my thumb and buried her in my embrace, as if I could protect her and hide her away from all the world. She still didn’t look convinced, though.

“You’re beautiful, okay? You’re the most perfect girl I’ve ever met, and no one can contest you. Everyone can see that clearly. You mustn’t believe anyone who says otherwise.”

Ara smiled softly, the broken smile that made my heart flutter. I want to fix that smile. “Jongsuk…”

Before I lost my courage, I blurted the words I’ve always wanted to say: “I love you, Choi Ara.”

She paused and looked up at me. “Wh-what?”

My mouth spurted words before I was able to stop myself. “I’ve loved you for a long while now; I just couldn’t come to you sooner because I thought you have gotten into a whole new level I could never reach. I should have known that if I had come sooner, I would have spared the pain you’re feeling right now. I’m sorry.”

Ara sighed as she put her head against my chest. It was soaking wet now, but she didn’t seem to mind. “It’s not your fault,” she whispered. “I was too blind to see what was good for me or not.”

I took her chin in between my fingers and lifted her head up so that she looked right into my eyes. Her eyes glistened with tears, but they weren't sad anymore. I smiled.

“Do you see it now?”