Chapter three: Always Gongchansik

 

Sometimes, you get caught in things that you don’t want to because you just can’t control it. Like growing up, you can’t stop that. You can’t stay in school all your life because you have to work one day. When a bird wants to fly, you can’t stop it from spreading its wings because that’s the only thing it knows.

It’s a shame that the only constant thing in life is change. If you fight the currents, you’d get swept away... But I guess that’s how God puts flavor in your life.

The first day of school is always the hardest. My parents sent me here ‘to succeed’. It was one of the things that the Academy promised. Truthfully, I think it’s up to the student whether or not they achieve what they want in life.

We don’t have money to send me here but they pretty much made me attend the Academy by paying the security deposit at the run-down apartment they got me. I live in rural Jeonju, about an hour away from our place. I would commute but it was more expensive than renting this place.

Your parent’s wishes are one of those inflexible things. If they want you be an engineer, you’ll study engineering. Me? I want to be a chef because I like cooking. That doesn’t matter much though, because they’ve already set their plans on that license. If you go against it, all they’ll say is how disobedient and unappreciative you are as their son.

I find that very annoying; because in every generation, there’s that smart moron that just shoves their beliefs down on everyone’s throat. ‘When I have kids, I wouldn’t do this or that because my parents did this or that.’ Subtly pinning their life on their parents because of who they were or what they did; it’s just... So sad.

You can’t blame your parents for anything. If you let them control your life or not, people will tell you that you’re a bad child. I know it sounds unfair. But really, is there such a thing as the perfect kid? I don’t think so. No matter how good you are, or how high your dreams are, or how hardworking you are towards your ambition; their choice will forever be the best one for you.

And we, the youth, will always be wrong because we are young.

I guess what I really want to say is, that I’m unhappy with the way my life is. I feel like once I’m done doing their bidding; I’ll be stuck doing the things they’ve forcefully prepared me for. I’d grow up grumpy and discontent all my life. It’s just... So sad.

Because to them, there’s no such thing as having fun at work; there’s only family. To them, you work to earn cold hard cash and nothing else. That’s why you work at the office; then work some more at home. I think it’s stupid that you can’t enjoy what you’re doing because it ‘hinders productivity’; because truthfully speaking, I don’t find money as rewarding as the smile on a person’s face when they eat something I made for them.

I know people will say that I’m this confused kid who doesn’t know because I’m too young to know anything. I don’t think I can never understand why grownups think that way. Why hate because we’re young? It’s just so stupid.

“Do you think this hat looks better than this one?” Baro asked. He brought two beanies yesterday. He is my roommate. So far, I can say that he’s this obnoxious kid that only cares about ‘the life’... Whatever that is.

“Pick the grey one.” I said.

He frowned. “But this one is more colorful.”

“Then go wear that.” I said, swinging my bag over my shoulders. It was light; it hardly had anything inside anyway. I looked at all his stuff. I admit that I’m jealous because he always got new things. I wonder why he even stays at an insect infested place like this?

“But you told me this was ugly!” He said, throwing the pink and green headgear aside and wearing the one I recommended. He opened the door. “Gaja, we’ll be late.”

“I didn’t say it was ugly; I just said it was better for the other one!” I said as went out. He locked the door on our way out. He smiled at me and ran downstairs.

God, he’s just like a kid. Is he really a year older than me?

When I got down, he was waving at some girls. I’ll admit, Baro was a handsome boy. He is conscious of what he wears and is always on the lookout for the next trend. Though he pretty much acted spoiled, he was a gentleman and is very social. I guess you can say he’s a crowd pleaser.

He’s annoying, but I don’t get mad at him much because that’s how he is. Like most things in life, that’s another thing I can’t change.

“Ya! Ppali!” He called. When I went up to him, he nudged me then he pointed at some of the girls that were waiting outside our apartment. “Look look. These girls have come to walk with us to school.” He winked then waved at them.

“Mwo, all of these are fangirls?” I raised my eyebrows.

“Yeah, but they’re not mine.”

I hit him right in the back of his head. “Mwoeyo?! Why are you waving at them then?!”

“Wae? I walk to school with Sungyeol sunbaenim all the time. Those are his fangirls!”

“I thought they were yours!” I exclaimed.

“I never said that!” He rubbed his head.

“Mianhamnida.” I bowed. It was my bad. I was surprised.

“Gwenchanayo.” He said. “Oh, he’s here.”

I was curious as to what kind of person Sungyeol was.

“Annyeonghaseyo, sunbaenim!” Baro waved.

“De, annyeonghaseyo.” He said, and then bowed to the both of us. He must’ve noticed I was a new face because he stretched his arm out. When I grabbed it, he shook hands. He was very formal. “Joneun Sungyeolimnida. Mannaseo bangawoyo.”

“Ah, naneun Gongchanimnida.” I bowed. “Bangawoyo.”

He also bowed to the girls. It made them swoon. Were these the kind of girls that I was going to school with? I hoped not, because they were as noisy as hell.

During our brief walk to school, I found out that Sungyeolhyung was a senior at the Academy and was the head of the disciplinary committee. He was also neck in neck with another senior named Seohyun for Valedictorian, who was apparently some sort of bookworm. He played basketball during weekends and is an avid fan of Cobo, a Taiwanese milktea house.

When we got to school, we bid our goodbyes and went to check on our classroom. Baro helped me look for mine first because he knew where the freshman wing was.

“Tell me stories about your first day later, OK?” He began patting my head. “If you find cute girls, introduce them to me.”

I pushed his hand away. “You wish!” We both laughed, some of the freshmen stared at us. I hope they didn’t find our roughhousing gay, because that would be upsetting. “I’ll see you later, hyung.”

When I entered the classroom, everything was in utter chaos. Girls were exchanging numbers while some of the boys were figuring out how to prank the homeroom teacher. So I settled at the back where people weren’t so crazy. In fact, there was only one person in the class that was silent.

She was this girl with brown hair and dark eyes. She was fiddling with her phone. It looked new and shiny. I can guess she was trying to figure it out because she was having a hard time going back and forth from settings to the Play Store app.

I never owned a phone before but I knew what Wi-Fi was. So I took the seat next to her and checked to see if she will learn how to open it by herself.

But she wasn’t getting anything done.

“Uhm, if you want to use the internet. I can probably help you.”

Reluctantly, she handed me her phone.

I tapped on apps, then settings. Under wireless and networks, I swiped the Wi-Fi on. She was looking over what I was doing as we waited for the list to populate; and when the option for the Academy’s network came up, I connected to it.

“Here you go.” I said.

“Kamsamnida.” She bowed. “My brother just brought me this, so I don’t really know how to use it yet.”

“Oh, OK.” I said. I found it odd because I thought connecting to Wi-Fi was common knowledge no matter what kind of phone you own.

She glanced at her phone again; then tilted her head when she switched back to the Play Store app. “What’s a ‘Google account’?” She asked.

Was she kidding? Or is this person technology stupid? I eyed her from head to toe. Was I sitting beside an idiot? Oh, God. First the fangirls, and now this? All the girls in this school are weird! It’s legit.

I pulled my chair close to hers and helped her make an account then logged into it. When we were at the Play Store, we downloaded simple apps like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and KakaoTalk. We also took an English-Korean dictionary and a notepad.

“This is interesting.” She said.

“Wait til’ you see the games.” I said.

“You can play games here?”

I blinked. This girl was really something. “Uhm, yeah. Here.” I placed Angry Birds, Temple Run and Fruit Ninja in the cart to start her off. “You should explore it more after class.”

“Ah, yeppuda!” She was grinning while pointing at the red feather ball. “Gomawoyo. It looks fun just by looking at it.”

“Gwenchanayo.”

Before I went to return to my desk, she grabbed my hand and smiled at me. “Jeongmal!” It wasn’t my first time seeing her smile, but I got to admit she was beautiful. She was bubbly enough to start with, but adding those dimples really made her aegyo burst all over me. “Oh, I haven’t told you my name yet. NaneunKim Namjuimnida.”

“G-Gong Cha—”

She waited for me to finish, but the cat got my tongue.

“Gongcha? Like the tea?” She asked.

“Aniyo. Naneun, uhm...” I was fumbling on words now. “Gong Chanshikimnida.”

“Ah, Gongchan.” She hummed.

“Ye.” I nodded. Even though that wasn't really how I wanted it to come out.

Throughout the class, all I did was to steal glances at her. I guess all she needed was warming up because she easily became one of the loudest girls in class.

We had recess and lunch together. She was pretty interesting because I found out that she was an orphan and that she moved to Jeonju because she was recently adopted. Her brother was here as well and she is very excited in meeting him after years of not seeing each other.

I began noticing other things too, like how she takes notes of almost every single thing in class and how she practically swallows her meal whole when she ate. These were just simple things; but they told me a lot about who she was as a person.

I take it all back. It was nice to see this kind of girl. She was still different, but in a way that was new and exciting... Should it be ‘refreshingly weird’ then? I’m not really sure how to word who Kim Namjoo was just yet. So far though, what you see is what you get.

“What classes do you think you’ll take?” I asked.

“I’ll just take whatever classes you’re taking.”

“You’re kidding! I mean, isn’t there something you want to be when you grow older?”

“I haven’t really thought that far out yet.” She admitted.

“I don’t want to lead you somewhere you don’t belong.” I said, getting the freshman syllabus and encircling the ones I’m taking. “These are all I’m taking. Do any of this interest you?”

“I guess I’m the kind that only thinks of the present.” She explained as she rocked back and forth in her seat. “Being with you is fine enough with me; my main goal here is to see my brother anyway. I’ll decide what do get once I know what he’s up to.”

“Well that’s no good.” I said, as I pointed at the calendar our adviser wrote on the board. “Add-drops end next week. It’s either you find him by tomorrow or you’re pretty much screwed.”

Namjoo nodded, then went back on her phone. “Hey, give me your number.”

“I don’t have a phone.” I said, as I slumped back in my seat. She frowned and continued playing on her phone. I felt like I ended the conversation prematurely, so I tried to extend it. “So in the end, all you want to be is being with him?”

“Of course, what else is there in life?” She asked.

I guess she really just loves her lost brother that much. I can’t say I approve of her plans though. What if he was on a completely different field than her? I bet she would endure everything for him. There’s no doubt about that; but there’s this nagging feeling that I just can’t shake... There was something wrong in her thinking, but I can’t fight it because it involved family.

And family was never something you can win against.

Family meant sacrifice. It made me think that she and I wasn’t so different after all. We were all swayed by the choices our family will make. Probably until we graduate, work and get married; they’d still be there, poking their heads in our business.

At the end of the day, I walked her to the parking lot where her adoptive brother was waiting for her. When we got there, he eyed me from head to toe.

“Nuguseyo?” He said. He was sitting at a 500c motorcycle that was covered in dragons and tigers. It was one of the most artistic piece of two-wheels I’ve ever seen.

“Ah, Chanshikimnida.” I bowed. “Namjoo’s friend.”

He looked at her. “Chingu?” Then at me. “Namjachingu?!”

She giggled. “Aniya! He’s my seatmate.” She smiled at me. “My new best friend.”

He smirked at that and ruffled her hair, then gave her a helmet to wear. “Naneun Donghyunimnida, Namjoo’s oppa.”

“Bangawoyo.” I bowed again.

Before he put his helmet, he looked at me closely. “Where have I seen you before?”

“I... I’m not sure?” I scratched my head.

Namjoo slapped his brother’s arm. “Stop it, you’re making him uncomfortable. Let’s just go already.”

“Jalgayo.” I waved at them and they drove away.

Before I can even turn, someone grabbed me from behind and shook me around in some sort of choke hold.

“OMO! WAE?! CHANSHIK HAS A GIRLFRIEND?!”

“ANDWAE!” I shouted, but then his grip got tighter because he got too excited. “ACK, H-HAJIMA! I CAN’T... UGH... BREATHE!”

“Oh, sorry!” He said as he released me. He saw some friends and immediately went to join them. Leave it to Baro to be completely apathetic.

“Ack, that guy is the worst!” I coughed.

I wish I can change that part of him. Unfortunately, there’s nothing in life you can change. We all just go with the flow. I smiled because that was the truth, about my life and Namjoo’s... Probably with Baro hyung as well.

“Ya, Sunwoo! Wait for me!”