After a little half-hour,  because  I just missed my bus, I arrived exhausted in my street. The church said it was already 10 pm.
So I was 4 hours away! I grabbed a mirror from my bag, went down a lamppost and looked at my face.
My eyes were red and puffy from crying.
My eyes were covered with mascara smears. That will certainly be the reason why that man didnt wanted to sit next to me on the bus.
I smild weakly and  wiped my eyes as I walked to our door. Just when I wanted to put keys in the lock, the door was ripped open. I came face to face with my father.

" Jiyonggg!!!! The hell where were you? I just wanted to call the police! God thanks, you're here" my dad said worried and hugged me tightly. There was only one, as this man. I left him hugging me and rested my head on his shoulder.
It felt so familiar, while it wasnt good too; I lied to my parents. I've been fooling them for 2 years.
Whenever I said I'm going to Bom, who was my best friend, when I was going out with Youngbae.
I quickly pushed that thought of me and enjoyed the two arms. MY dad was just as responsive.

He asked me where I was. But I was sure he knew that something was not right.
I was so happy with such a father, he knew exactly when he had to ask and when to keep quiet. He pulled me inside and closed the door. I took off my shoes, hung my jacket on and went straight to my room. With clothes and all I jumped right into my bed.

I stared hopeless into the dark, at the ceiling.
Suddenly I heard a knock on the door. "Yeah" I answered the knocking. My father came into my room with a tray on which stood a glass of hot chocolate and my favorite cookies. I smiled gratefully at my father. He came to me. I could see that he felt uncomfortable and that he didnt know what to say. I decided to take that poor man out of his misery and made up a story that Bom and I had a fight that it made me so angry that I cried.

He believed the story  because it wasnt strange that I cried over Bom; Bommie was everything to me and even I'm well known as the 19-year-old boy who is always tough occurred, but within a very small heart possession.
My father reassured me and said it was okay. I kissed the forehead of my father and thanked him. "Thanks dad, what would I do without you." I said, when I felt like someone strangled my heart, but I ignored the pain. "Where's mum, anyway?" I noticed suddenly.
"She went to aunt Jina and I've just received a call that she will sleep there."
I nodded. He stood up and walked to my door, as he suddenly seemed to think, and he turned around. "Jiyong, if there is something more.. eh .. .." he stuttered.

Quickly I shooked  my head, and tried to smile. "There is nothing, dad. Really. Tomorrow, I'll talk with Bom."
He nodded, and sent me one of his warm smile, and shut the door.
 

What did I do that I deserve such a loving father? Once I heard him going downstairs, I burst into tears.
Everything came back to me. The whole day took place as a kind of movie in my head.

Youngbae that I've lost. Lost. Lost. Echoed in my head.

I burried my face deep into the pillow to stifle my sobs. Well what was I without him? What on earth possessed me to let him go?
'He treated you badly. He was unfair to you,' said another voice in my head. I got mad and began to sob even harder.
All emotions now seemed to get loose.
I didnt know how long I cried, minutes or hours. No sense of time anymore.
I cried so long, until I fell in a dreamless sleep.