"I can't anymore, I'm so sorry .." my shaky voice was choked with a kiss on my lips.
"Stop it, Jiyong" Youngbae whispered under his breath. I pulled my lips from his and pushed him away.
"Youngbae, I mean it. I can't do this longer. We must end it, now and here. "
Youngbae's look filled my eyes with tears.

"Jiyong, how can you ask me this? After all that we have gone throug... How could you? "He said with a hoarse voice.
I began to lose my patience. Why was it always hard for me? Why was he now the old Youngbae, who I had met two years ago?
I looked at him and could no longer produce sound.

It seemed as if my tongue was stuck against my palate , as if my lips were attached with superglue.
The only thing I could do was staring expressionless in his brown eyes. I felt angry, sad and helpless at the same time.
Why was I so weak? Why I could not just leave him here and go away? All that pain and sleepless nights because of him .. It had to be easy for me? But it was not.

"Jiyong, did you heard what I said?" The voice of Youngbae, my Bae, pulled me out of my mind.
I was so deep in thought, I didn't even know what he was talking about. As if he could read my thoughts, he said, "Ji, give me a chance. Please! I'll prove I'm worth that chance. I know that I didn't treated you well, I am aware of the suffering and pain I've done to you .. But that pain will be nothing compared to the pain that you will give me if you leave me. Please, forgive me and I promise you that I'll be the same  and our relationship will work!" begged Youngbae.

I kept looking at him. Suddenly I saw a whole different look in his eyes.
Just thought that I saw a sign of sincere regret.
"Damn Jiyong! it! How could you? Look at me and tell me you don't love me! When you say it, it will be enough and I will forever disappear from your life," shouted Youngbae now.

I looked at him long.
He grabbed my chin and forced me to look straight into his eyes. "Say it" he whispered.

Each part of my body longed for him right now. But I knew to control it. My heart couldn't handle it.
I can not imagine life without Youngbae. But they say; time will heal all wounds, right?
I picked up all my courage, cleared my throat and whispered hoarsely, "I'm sorry Youngbae, I don't love you anymore. It's over '.
Youngbae let my face go. Suprised and pitiful at the same time, I dont know it the pity was for me or for himself, he looked at me. His eyes filled with tears. But he kept himself strong. Youngbae said nothing and turned quickly around.

I kept staring at him as he walked away.
Was this it? He really ran out of my life for now and forever?
I kept staring at him and followed every step in my eyes. Until he was completely out of sight.
Only then I realized what had just happened.
I sank into the sand and stared ahead of me, towards the sea. I cried like a little boy. The cold December wind blew through my clothes, I didn't care at this time.
I was numb. How could I go on living, while my life had just run away?