Memories
Words Unspoken
You held onto his hand like it was a lifeline, the grip almost cutting off his circulation, but he sat there like a good friend. He wanted to run screaming from the room, or run around in circles. But instead he just sat there, rubbing his thumb along the delicate skin-covered bone of your thumb.
The foreman stood up, his balding head gleaming off the lights of the courtroom, the paper lightly shivering in his hands. Daehyun didn't know if it was from the attention, or the words written on the paper.
"We the jury..." He took a deep breath, looking as nervous as you had taking the stand. He seemed to be a nervous man, not used to the attention on
himself.
Daehyun's ears were aware of every sound in the room, including the ringing in his ears.
He tried to hold on to the present, but this all triggered a memory...
"Daehyun-ah?" you whispered out your door now to him laying on his own couch.
He turned the volume down on the TV and turned to look over the couch. "Do you need something?" He found it cute when you used honorifics, even if not from the country of his birth.
"Could...could we talk? I'm nervous about tomorrow..."
He took in your worried face, and gave you a reassuring smile. "Sure, I'll be in there, just give me a second." He turned off the TV as you retreated back, untangling himself from the blankets. He placed the TV remote on his coffee table. Funny, though, he had never set a cup of coffee on it...
He padded in worn blue socks towards his old room, turning off the light to the hallway, and easing the door open. He was slightly self-conscious about only wearing a thin white tank top around you, coupled with a pair of old shorts. You never seemed to mind his states of undress; maybe it was a difference in culture.
You had left the light on, casting a shallow yellow glow over everything, and were huddled in the bed. He smiled, a soft one, at the blanket tucked up to your chin, but your feet were sticking out.
He sat down on the edge of the bed, his left foot on his right knee, "What did you want to talk about?"
You snuggled down, slightly wrapping around him and closing your eyes.
"Nothing really specific, I'm just so tired but I can't sleep. I just need to hear your voice. It soothes me."
Daehyun felt a shiver run down his spine. Sometimes the very words you said made him so happy...
"All right, should I talk about my childhood? It all started in a little hospital, I was coming out of the womb, screaming, mind you- What?"
You were shaking with suppressed laughter, your giggling face buried into the pillow, "Nothin’, nothin’! Go on!"
He smiled in return, reaching out to your shoulder, you lay your head against the pillow, staring up at him.
"Well, let's talk about what’s bothering you, then. Is it the courtroom?"
A head shake. "
Seeing that guy again?"
Another head shake.
"The verdict?"
You shrugged. "Kind of all of that. It's all wrapped up." You slowly lowered the comforter, sitting up slightly. "I'm don't know why I'm really worried, but I am. I
hope he gets forever, but I don't really know what he'll get. I just don't want to see him ever again."
Daehyun nodded solemnly. "I understand. How about this...after the trial, no matter what happens, we move?"
You started, looking up at him-
"Us? Move? T-together?"
He nodded, waving his hand around the room. "Yeah, pack up all our things and just go somewhere else. Unless…you don't want to move with me?" He tried not to let the hurt show through in his voice.
"No! No, of course! I would love that!"
His heart eased.
"But I’m worried about your job, and your family, friends..."
He rubbed the back of his neck, and prepared to tell you something he felt you were too fragile to know before. "I got fired." He held up in his hand quickly
when you surged up, you mouth hanging open.
"When was this?!" You looked shocked, even horrified.
"A few weeks ago. They had to. I had missed so many days, but they understood and let me have a decent severance package. That and my insurance has been keeping us afloat since then. It's been a little penny-pinching for your apartment too."
Your eyes filled and spilled over, your knees drawing up to touch your forehead. Alarmed, Daehyun put his hands on your shoulders.
"What? What's wrong!?" He let you sob for a few moments, then lifted your chin to see your reddened eyes.
"Y-you've been paying for my apartment? You've been paying my bills? You've been taking care of me this long? Lost your job? Spending the money you have so carefully kept for a rainy day... how can you stand it? Stand me?"
You sniffed, looking deeply into his eyes, and he gently kissed the imprint of your knees on your forehead. He could tell you how hard it was, how much his math degrees were paying off in the penny pinching.
“But why?” you asked, choking.
"Because I love you. That's why. You needed me. You had always been there for me whenever I needed you. You needed time to heal and be okay. I know you'll never be the way you were before. But if I can get you to a place in your life where you’ll be happy and safe, I'd do anything." He wondered how you'd react. This was the only time he had ever said he loved you from the last time in the park.
You slowly looked at him, and then wrapped your arms around his neck, dragging him down to lay in the bed with you.
"Please, Hunnie, sleep in here with me tonight...hold me."
He nodded, humbled that you weren't pushing him away, and scooted himself under the covers.
You wrapped your arms around him and he tucked you under his chin.
It was a lot warmer here than out on the couch, and you closed your eyes, looking like you were enjoying this as much as he was.
He stared at the wall across from his bed, finding that the moon wasn't as harsh as it normally was tonight. It played over his shoulder and lit on your face, he was mesmerized. You yawned, your eyes drowsily opening to see him looking at you.
Then he heard you murmuring sleepily. "I was never comfortable laying down with a guy, or just being with them. It sounds so stupid, but I just needed the guy that's always been with me..."
He smiled wider, hoping you were talking about him, but not pushing it.
"I love you, Hunnie, I really do, I don't know what to do with it right now, but I'll try."
It was all he could hope for, for now.
The foreman cleared his throat, bringing him back to the present-
"We find the defendant, Park Lee Chan-iss, not guilty of in the first degree."
Daehyun surged up, every ounce of self-control gone-
"WHAT!?"
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