December 17th

Without you, I am nothing. You, who never returned my gaze, are the one I chose to love forever. You are the meaning to my life. You are my everything.

What fate is so cruel to destroy our love?

Like Romeo and Juliet, we are destined to end in tragedy. There is no happiness left in my life. My poor muse, I have abandoned you not out of hatred, but out of love. I wish you hope, joy, and happiness. I love you.

Without you, I am nothing.

December 20th

Thankfully, your treatment is going well. Nurse Sunny always informs me of your current condition. She tells me that you were heartbroken over our split. Don't be too sad, Donghae. Time will heal everything. If you are patient enough, the pain will eventually fade. Just wait.

However, my pain is not fading.

December 22nd

Nurse Sunny told me that you smiled for the first time since that day. Even if it was directed towards a picture of us as little kids, it's still a step in the right direction. I know you can be happy, Hae. Do it, please. Be happy for me.

The pain was less today. Perhaps it was from receiving the good news. The doctors say that I have about two months left until my surgery. Right now, the outcome is questionable. I'm not scared, though- I have lived a wonderful life and will depart from this world peacefully.

December 25th

Donghae, this is the first time that we've not spent Christmas together. I hope today is full of merry feelings for you. Even though I will not be present in body, my spirit will forever be with you.

December 31st

It's the end of 2012, Donghae. It's time to turn over a new leaf; make fresh starts; begin anew.

They say that as a person dies, another becomes stronger. It's your chance to live, Donghae.

January 5th

What is love?

I can't explain what I feel.

This feeling, so foreign and cruel, will never give us a happy ending.

I lost my mind the moment I saw you. Except you, everything turns into slow motion.

Tell me, if this is love.

                Eunhyuk sighed as he closed his diary shut. Reaching over his bed, he fumbled around on his cabinet tabletop in search for a particular object. Eunhyuk's hand found purchase on a small bottle, of which he upended and ingested a few pills.

                The pain in his chest was growing stronger. Soon, it consumed his heart similar to that of a fire, devouring everything in its path. Eunhyuk laid back in his hospital bed, clutching his chest and focusing on slowing his breathing down.

                The pain reached its critical peak, forcing Eunhyuk to clasp his chest and ride out the pain. Focusing on a mental image of Donghae, Eunhyuk slowly calmed his pulse down. Amazingly, the mental image of Donghae also caused the pain to recede, allowing Eunhyuk to draw in a grateful breath of oxygen.

                A knock sounded at the door; Eunhyuk flailed around on his bed to look at the intruder.

                "Ah, welcome Dr. Siwon. What brings you here?"

                "Hyukjae, we need to talk," rumbled Dr. Siwon, eyes focusing upon the boy. He moved over to the corner of the bed and rested a hand on Eunhyuk's shoulder.

                Eunhyuk could sense that Dr. Siwon's purpose for meeting him was not a social call, but was for a more serious purpose.

                "Dr. Siwon, I promise I have been taking all of my pills-"

                   "No, not about that," the doctor interjected, dismissing the protest with a wave of his hand.

                "Well, yesterday, I swear that my heart monitor disconnected itself-"

                "Not that, either. Hyukjae, I'm here to-"

                "Dr. Siwon, my heart is perfectly fine! I'm as healthy as a horse, see?" Eunhyuk cried, eyes round with fright and slight frame trembling with anxiety. He kept interrupting because he knew that if he stopped, Dr. Siwon would most certainly break the bad news.

                "Stop it, Hyukjae! I'm here to discuss your will!" Dr Siwon shouted, his patience finally snapping.

                Silence ensued.               

                Taking a deep breath, Dr Siwon began again. "I apologize for losing my temper. It was uncharacteristic of me. However, must precede with business. In the events that you do not survive your surgery slated on February 14th, we need to designate your immediate beneficiary. That individual will receive the entire rights to your estate, valued at $5.4 billion won."

                Opening his mouth, Eunhyuk tried to speak. His throat constricted and Eunhyuk had to swallow several times to force a single name out.

                "Lee Dong Hae."

~Author's Note~

Hello, dear reader! Sorry for the delay in updates. I actually had pre-written the chapters up to this point, so updates are going to be a little bit slower. Mianhae-yo! 

Anyways, lyric credits are to EXO for the diary update of January 5th. They aren't taken word for word (Korean to English translations are a bit funky and didn't flow with the storyline) but I tried to encapture the same mood within the song.

Thank you for reading so far, and I hope you leave lots of comments because they make me happy! <3