DAESUNG POV

it was literally a living hell for me.

sunny was engaged to siwon. it was like history was repeating itself.

six years ago siwon asked sunny out and she accepted. i didn't have any right to interfere with her happieness back then.

and now siwon proposed to sunny and she accepted. now more then ever i knew i had no right to interfere with her happieness.

i couldn't do anytthing six years ago.

i can't do anything now.

i feel pretty useless.....

i wanted to confess to sunny. to tell her that she was my happiness and that without her the last six years were gloomy. 

that i left her because i couldn't bear to see her with another man any longer. that for the past six years she was my motivation to become 

bigger, stronger, smarter and  more handsome in the hopes that one day she would accept me.

i knew that since she is now engaged i couldn't tell her.

i guess i have to carry this crush of mine to my grave...

i walked around during her engagement party trying to put a smile on my face even though i knew it was killing me to be there.

sunny had begged me to come saying she needed her best friend to be there for her.

the word bestfriend continued to kll me inside.

sunny-ah i guess this really is the end of the line for my hopes?

i have to live life knowing that i can't have you.

knowing that you don't love me like i love you.

knowing that you only ever and will see me as your bestfriend.

i have to let you go. again.

i hope you live a happy life with sunny.

i will always love you sunny-ah. ALWAYS.

i reached the stairs where i heard someone crying.

my heart broke as i saw who it was.

"sun are you okay?" i asked full of concern.

she looked up at me.

"daesung? yes im okay just still in shock i guess" 

"oh okay"

it became awkward until she spoke.

"oppa have you ever been in love?"

yes i fell in love the day i met you 16 years ago.

"um yes i have"

"what happened?"

"i didn't get the chance to tell her. she was dating someone else"

"so you never told her?"

"no. i never had the courage"

she looked at me confused.

"you loved her yet you let her date someone else?"

"ofcourse why?"

"you could of tried to convince her that you were the right one for her"

"maybe, but she already said yes"

"and?"

"love for  me is putting her happieness before mine"

she looked at me shocked.

"why would you do that?"

"because that's what love is to me. i choose for her to have a happy life"

"why did you ask?" i asked her.

she ignored my question and continued. 

"so you still haven't told her?" she asked

i smiled at her. "i'm not going to. it will only bring missery to her. if i see her smiling with the person she loves. that is enough for me..i sure hope so" i whispered the last part

"you have always had a big heart dae oppa" she said.

"the bigger the heart, the bigger the heart ache" i said.

"oppa why do i feel like every word you're saying is directed a me?"

"i guess because it's similar"

"how?"

"i will choose your happiness over my feelings"

"let me tell you a story" i said

"okay"

"there was a boy who loved his bestfriend but always hid it from her because he didn't want her to feel awkward around each other-

"oppa do you love me?"

ii want to scream yesssss!!!! how can i ? she is going to get married soon.

"ofcourse my dongsang, why"

"i love you too my bestfriend. so will you be siwons's best man?" she said with aegyo

i don't know if i can be at your wedding sun.

i just can't get over the fact that your not mine.