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fiction vs reality;

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"Have you heard? Have you heard the news?" Sehun practically tackles him to the ground.

 

Jongin gives him a wary look. "Not quite sure I want to know." He raises an eyebrow.

 

"It's about Soojung," Sehun divulges, eyes shining. "She's confirmed to--"

 

"Oh, right. That," Jongin lays on his bed, lips muffled by his pillow.

 

Okay, fine, he's kind of jealous. Kind of. Kind of like last time when Minhyuk kissed her on the cheek and he could only watch for two seconds as her skin would turn pink and she would smile sweetly and maybe Jongin is just not cut out for this type of stuff. As in, this cheesy romantic stuff that makes his stomach churn like he's about to throw up. It's like he's playing the role of jealous boyfriend when she's not even his in the first place. It half amuses him and half disgusts him.

 

Oh, the woes of a non-existent boyfriend.

 

And also, it's not even real life, he tells himself. It's a freaking drama. He thinks for a second. You know, he should probably make a move one day before one of her actor friends do. Leave it to Soojung to make everyone around her smitten.

 

"Are you thinking about the non-existent boyfriend theory again." It's not a question, it's a statement of fact.

 

Jongin doesn't reply, only sighs.

 

"Knew it." Sehun laughs, and it feels out of place. Laughing, that is. Not when Jongin feels like throwing himself off a cliff (mostly due to embarassment that Sehun can read him that easily). "Okay, I can guarantee you that you've gotten her wrapped around your finger, practically. Believe me, I know. I'm one of her best friends." He wiggles his eyebrows and Jongin groans and flips over on his bed.

 

Sehun rolls his eyes. "You don't believe me, do you." Again, it's a statement, not a question. Sehun knows him too well. "She has such a big crush on you, it's not even funny."

 

He thinks for a moment. Soojung liking him? Impossible. Not when she has practically the entire male population at her feet.

 

"She goes onto your fansites and saves pictures of you on her phone," Sehun continues (he's on a roll now). "Whenever anyone talks about you, she smiles shyly and it's not just any smile. Believe me, I'm one of her best friends, I know."

 

"Yes, yes, I get it, you're one of her best friends. No need to rub it in," Jongin rolls his eyes. He knows he's totally missed the point, but he would prefer to keep it that way. No need to get his hopes up if he'll only end up heartbroken, again.

 

"Rain sunbae is handsome, right? And Myungsoo hyung too?" Sehun pipes up. He's not going to let up, is he?

 

Jongin doesn't want to nod but he knows it's true anyway. He grunts in response. Face still muffled in his bed comforter.

 

"But they're not you, Jongin," he says earnestly, followed by a shudder upon realizing how cheesy he sounds. "Oh my gosh, since when did I become your personal therapist. Someone just hire me already."

 

Jongin groans again. "Can you just leave me alone? I'll call you later for another therapy session," he spits.

 

"You're just afraid, aren't you? Afraid that what happened in the past would happen again? She's not going to break your heart this time."

 

Sehun finally gets up to leave after heaving a sigh of helplessness. "Why do I even care," he mutters to himself. "Oh, and by the way, I texted you her number. You would think that you two would actually make an effort to contact each other when you're pining after one another all day along. Sheesh."

 

When his friend is out the door, Jongin takes a peek at his phone. Should he?

 

He almost puts his phone down but then he remembers how Soojung will probably always act in dramas sometime or another and how regardless of what she's doing she'll always turn heads anyway and he remembers the reason why he likes her in the first place: the way she tries her hardest in anything she does, her charisma on stage, her sweet singing voice, her beautiful, beautiful eyes.

 

And mostly just because she's Soojung and he knew it was her the first time he set eyes on her back in their trainee days. It was her even after he somehow found the guts to confess and she told him that she wasn't ready for anything like that yet, that she was focusing on her career and other friendships and there he was, heart broken but barely holding on to that strand of hope, something that's lasted him til now.

 

Nowadays, he forces himself to come in contact with her as little as possible, simply because he doesn't know what to do anymore. But he supposes he's waited long enough.

 

It's been her all along, and nothing can change that.

 

He closes his eyes for a split second, running his hand through his hair. It's now or never.

 

"Hello?" comes the voice at the other end. He momentarily forgets how to speak.

 

"Soojung?" he manages to croak out (he sounds like he needs a cough drop).

 

A pause. The room is silent except for his pulsating heartbeat. "Jongin, right?" she asks.

 

He lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Yeah."

 

She laughs, then. "Why, hello there." There is a tinge of playfulness in her tone and it's awkward but Jongin likes it. A lot.

 

He smiles because something is finally happening and this time it's not another guy kissing her on the cheek. One day it'll be him, he thinks. One day.

 

(This, he reminds himself, is reality, not some fictional fantasy displayed on a TV screen, and he's about to make her his.)

 

 

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`author's note: you would think that i'd be updating this collection a lot more since it's summer, but the truth is, i've been writing tons and tons of kaistal! by tons, i mean pages and pages x_x it's for a collab birthday fic with some of my writer friends at theangstcircle@lj. the whole story (50 pages total) is not fully posted yet but you can find what's posted already here. it's titled "the venn diagram" because it's a parallel fic with a yunho/boa story :) you'll get it eventually. a pdf version should be out later if you just want the kaistal version!