they've been alright, but maybe they can be better now.

coming home;

drabble | romance | g | 1593 words

continuation of "on nights like these" and "they'll be alright"

She works as a finance consultant for a fashion magazine firm. She has always been smart -- Soojung -- and she guesses that in the end, it paid off. Crisp white dress shirt, black pencil skirt, 2-inch heels -- simple, she smiles. She remembers back in her teenage years when she would always go for the bold, the bright, the outrageous. It was like living on the edge, adrenaline up high, vulnerability, loud beating of her heart and a stream of salty tears. She shakes her head now at the thought, having matured quite a bit these past years in university and her newfound career. There are better things, she realizes, as she opts instead for the elegant, the caramel macchiato resting warmly in within her grasp, her nails neatly manicured, sunglasses resting on her crown of straight, jet black hair. 

Money is a bit tight these days and she would rather save up for who-knows-what so she takes mostly public transportation now, her heels clacking lightly on the sidewalk as she makes her way toward the subway station. She gets lost in the hustle of city life, people swarming all around, some with briefcases in hand, others with backpacks on their shoulders, all with some place to go, someone to meet, something to do. She sort of enjoys being lost in the crowd, a stark contrast to her past, when she turned heads wherever she went with that bold head of red hair or dark brown with blonde ends. She likes being normal, she decides, as she checks her watch.

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Four seconds, and all she can see through the subway train window is the blur of tunnels, passing by the occasional station platform b with people. Soojung likes the motion blur -- going so fast you can’t stop to see or feel anything. She has given up on feeling things. She likes it better that way, perhaps.

Twenty minutes later, she walks quickly into the elevator and up to her office. After an entire day of meetings and desk work and pasting a smile on her face (elegant, amiable, Soojung reminds herself, try to let it reach your eyes), she decides to take the bus home instead of the subway. 

She is standing alone, as she always does. Humming a sweet tune to herself, she finds herself zoning out on the traffic, the whizzing by of cars and the revving of engines. It is almost deafening, but she doesn’t care, she really doesn’t --

“Hey.”

Her eyebrows furrow at the voice. Deep, a little boyish, a tinge of playfulness, curiosity. Her breath gets caught in and no, no, no, she’s not supposed to feel anything, Soojung doesn’t know how to feel anything anymore and yet here she is, eyes unblinking and staring at the pavement with the intensity of five thousand suns, not daring to look up.

He clears his throat a bit uneasily and, in the midst of her shock at his reappearance in her life, she almost resists the urge to laugh. 

He must have caught the little smirk upon her lips. “What?” and she can hear that he is laughing a bit now, a little too precious for her to admit. 

She decides there’s no use trying to avoid it. She brushes the hair out of her face and turns to the side. “Hey.” It comes out a little less elegant than she would have wished and it feels like it doesn’t matter how put together she has been for the past few years when all of her walls crumble down at the mere sight of one particular Kim Jongin.

He is wearing a dress shirt and pants, his maroon tie slightly loose and askew, his suit jacket resting in the crook of his elbow. There is a weird look upon his boyish features, a mixture of surprise and apprehension and she doesn’t know what else it is but his eyes look particularly soft today. She gulps. 

Her gaze meets his and his eyes seem to speak a thousand words. How have you been? What have you been doing? Where are you headed?

And she wants to say that she’s going home and nice to meet you (again) but i have things to do but instead mumbles something like, “That coffee shop, over there.” She points to it across the street and it is now when she realizes that she is taking a risk. Jung Soojung, taking a risk. But before she can think twice, his hand is in hers and all resolve is broken.

“Okay,” he shrugs, a light smile playing at his lips. “Let’s go, then.”

They are sitting down, across from each other, her first real look at him in all these years. Dark circles trace his eyes and she involuntarily frowns. “I know, I look horrible, right,” he suddenly says, breathing deeply. 

Surprised, she utters, “N-no… I mean. We’re all tired these days,” she gives him her signature smile -- the elegant, amiable one. 

He nods from across the table. “That’s what coffee is for,” he toasts her with his cup of American espresso and laughs when she smiles her real smile, the one that is actually Soojung.

They both take a couple sips in silence. It feels incredibly odd to be so close to him for the first time in practically forever, but she decides that she’s not totally against it either. She thinks back to the night when she resolved to forget everything, to forget what love is, to forget the memories. She had been doing well enough, she supposed, having hardened her heart toward anything romantic, just focusing on her work and friends. 

She looks at him again. At that second, his gaze also shifts toward her, and they chuckle nervously. “So, how has life been?” he asks, voice shaking a little despite his obvious efforts.

“It’s been okay. College treated me well. Working at a fashion magazine as a financial consultant.” Her sentences are disjointed, and his eyes soften a bit more. He looks deep in thought. “What about you?”

“College was fine. I just started interning at an architecture firm a couple blocks away from here a few weeks ago.”

“Hmm,” she murmurs, nodding in response. The coffeehouse music overtakes their senses again as they sit there in silence, a question hanging in the air. She wants to know more but yet she doesn’t, afraid of what he may reveal. So you’ve been happy? she wants to ask, but then her mind is filled with thoughts about whether he’s truly moved on without her, and maybe she doesn’t want to admit that she feels she’s been left behind. 

She clenches her teeth, looking down. The tension is palpable, unbearingly so. He loosens his tie a little more, rubbing the back of his neck. “There was no one,” he finally says.

She still doesn’t look up and can feel his stare boring into her skin. Don’t feel, she chastises herself, but suddenly her heart starts palpitating a little out of control and perhaps this is more difficult than she thought. 

“Same,” she says quietly. She finally looks up at him and he looks a bit like a hopeless mess, parts of his hair sticking up (quite endearing, she must admit) and he looks like the boy she knew once, holding hands while walking home, study sessions and box lunches and whispered murmurs. There was no one else quite like you, she thinks to herself. And maybe in her heart, it’s never truly been over.

He’s staring straight into her eyes now, and she can see a myriad of emotions flashing across his features -- hope, uncertainty, and was it love? she doesn’t know and half of her doesn’t want to know. But by now the tears start welling up in her eyes and she doesn’t even know why.

He notices this, and reaches over to touch her hand, hesitating a little. She swallows, trying to make it all stop but his small gesture is oddly comforting. She finds it within her to smile, a real Soojung smile. “Thanks.”

He gives her a cheeky grin and raises his eyebrows a bit. “Well then, shall we?” he nods toward the door.

They walk out of the coffee shop side by side and somewhere along the way, their hands find their way together, clasped snugly together, and neither of them makes a move to change it. Soojung, with her jet black hair and white dress shirt and black pencil skirt, 2-inch heels in step with his own dress shoes. Jongin, maroon tie and dress shirt and pants, no longer the teenage boy of her golden years but lovely just the same. They have both grown up, but Soojung feels the butterflies coming again and she decides that maybe it’s not too bad to feel things after all.

He squeezes her hand as they sit side by side on the bus, and somehow she doesn’t care where exactly they’re going but it feels like home.

“Let’s go eat dinner or something,” he says nonchalantly while planting a light kiss on the back of her hand.

She laughs, resting her head on his shoulder. She may enjoy getting lost in the city crowds but once in a while, it doesn’t hurt to feel special. “I’ve missed you,” she whispers.

“I’ve missed you too,” he agrees quietly, looking out the window. 

Him, her, they.

They’ve been alright, but they can be better now. And maybe that’s more than they can ever ask for.

`author's note: hey guys! i'm back. wow, two in one week -- i am on a roll! so good news: i just finished my last AP exams in the history of my high school career! woohoo~ so basically everything's smooth sailing from here til graduation. hopefully i'll have a bit more free time to write and i can feel that my writing juices are flowing better now lol. so please look forward to more kaistal! comments are greatly appreciated :) have a nice day!

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