Sehun opened his dorm door and slammed it behind him.  He felt like crap, he probably looked like it too.  Eye bags had magically appeared, his frown had deepened, and his eyes were droopy.  He fell on his bed and curled up under his covers.  He didn’t want to admit that he missed Suho.  Maybe even a tiny bit of him…had feelings for him.  Okay who was he kidding? He realized now that he needed Suho more than Suho probably ever needed him. 

            “Open up, brat!”

            Sehun sunk in deeper under his blanket when he heard a knock on his door. 

            “Leave me alone,” Sehun’s voice was muffled under his covers.  Suddenly Sehun felt a heavy body fall on top of his and the blankets being pulled down.  He felt the cold air hit his face and opened his eyes to see Suho smiling down at him.

            “Hey beautiful, what are you doing in bed?” Suho grinned.  Sehun tried to get his arm out of his blanket to smack the older boy for calling him beautiful but Suho was trapping his arms under the covers. And since when could Suho open locked doors?  

            Suho sat up in bed and took something out of his pocket. 

            “You might be a brat.  But you’re my brat,” Suho grinned at Sehun as he took out something shiny.  He grabbed Sehun’s hand from underneath the covers and pushed something into his hands.  When Sehun looked down it was a phone charm with a wing on it. 

            “I know it’s cheesy but I have one too.  The other wing.”

            Sehun was speechless, “Um…does this mean that you’re….are we?”

            Suho laughed at Sehun’s flustered and confused face, “It should be a reminder that you’re flying every day that you’re with me.  It’s stupid really.  But I guess best friends can have matching charms too,” Suho ruffled Sehun’s hair and stood up.  He was about to leave again when he was pulled back by a hand. 

            And before Suho knew what had happened, he felt warm lips on his. 

            Sehun started panicking when Suho didn’t kiss back but soon Suho did and Sehun felt like everything was right again.  Better than right.  Everything was perfect.

            When they pulled away for air, Sehun couldn’t resist from saying something cheesy, “If I’m flying everyday I’m with you, does that mean you’re the wings of my life?”

            Sehun moved around on his bed.  It was a Saturday and he didn’t have to worry about being late for class but something else had him worried.  Suho wasn’t beside him.  Last night they fell asleep on Sehun’s bed.  Cuddling only, so don’t get any dirty ideas.  But Suho wasn’t in the room at all. 

            And all of a sudden Sehun felt self-conscious and worried again.  Did Suho feel the same way he did?  Maybe yesterday night was a one-time deal?  Did Suho suddenly regret what happened?  He got out of bed and padded down the hall to Suho’s door.  But it wasn’t Suho who opened the door.

            “Hey hunnie!” Luhan said brightly as he opened the door.  He opened it wider so Minseok could peek out from behind him.

            “Is Suho hyung here?” Sehun stuttered.  He looked down at his feet. 

            “No.  He didn’t come back last night,” Luhan answered. 

            Sehun left the dorms and started walking around aimlessly around campus.  All he could do was think, and thinking was dangerous because it made him even more sad and depressed.  Why did Suho leave?  Did he hate Sehun for kissing him? 

            He had so much on his mind that he wasn’t paying attention as he was crossing the street and only snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the car horn.  Before he could move, he felt himself being pushed by a strong force. He crashed to the pavement, scraping his face against the cement sidewalk. 

            “Are you crazy?” Suho pulled him up and inspected his face.  Sehun looked into Suho’s worried eyes and froze.  He could feel tears start to form in his eyes. 

            “Sehun are you alright?  We need to take you to the hospital.  Where does it hurt?” Suho put his hands on Sehun’s cheeks to inspect the cut that was there, “You’re only safe when you’re with me,” Suho tsked.  

            Sehun suddenly grabbed Suho’s waist and pulled the smaller hyung to him in a tight embrace. 

            “Sehun,” Suho was surprised at Sehun’s actions and only stood still as the younger boy embraced him. 

            “Please don’t leave me.  I don’t care if you don’t like me like that but please let’s stay friends.”

            “Sehun,” Suho pulled away so he could look into the younger’s eyes, “I’m not leaving you.” 

            “Where are you going?” Suho’s hand flew out and grabbed Sehun’s as he got out of bed. 

Sehun snatched his hand away as he saw the little patterns etched into Suho’s fingers. For some reason the patterns didn’t seem as dark as they were before.  And even though he hadn’t seen Suho talking to Lay since Lay nearly attacked him, he’d seen Lay around. 

Lay’s handsome face was now always gloomy.  There was no shine in his eyes and he never smiled.  He would always look up at the sky as if asking ‘why.’  Lay wasn’t happy, but at the same time, whenever Lay and Suho were in the same vicinity no matter how many feet separated them Sehun always felt like the third wheel.  Suho would always avoid Lay’s gaze, but always with a guilty look.  And Sehun didn’t know if it was his imagination but he also thought that Suho’s tattoos became darker when Lay was nearby.    

            “What’s Lay to you?” Sehun asked.  It’s not like Sehun distrusted Suho.  Suho honestly spent every waking moment with him so he knew that there wasn’t even the slightest possibility that Suho was cheating on him.  But at the same time, the matching tattoos and Lay’s gloomy mood was a bit suspicious.

            Suho frowned and looked away, “Why are you asking that?”

            “Why aren’t you answering?” Sehun snapped. 

            Suho looked shocked at Sehun’s outburst but grabbed Sehun’s hand again and pulled him back to the bed, “It’s much more complicated than you think.” He winced slightly and withdrew his hand like touching Sehun’s hand was the equivalent of touching fire.

            Suho must’ve seen the look on Sehun’s face because he quickly added, “But I’m with you Sehun.  I care about you.”

           “If you care about me then there’s no reason why you should be hiding something from me,” Sehun snapped.

            Suho seemed to be having an internal debate but then he sighed, “Lay and I used to be lovers.”

           Sehun was in shock.  He was angry that Suho never told him.  True they had been dating for only two weeks.  But it was a great two weeks and this new revelation was like a thunderstorm that finally found his paradise. He didn’t even know how.  Since when did Suho have the time to have a relationship with Lay?  They barely interacted; Suho was always with him!  Sehun was so upset that he ran out of his own room in nothing but the sweatpants and shirt he was wearing. 

            Suho stumbled out of bed after him, quickly throwing on a shirt and stopped when he felt pain shoot through his body like a knife.  The pains had been getting worse in the last two weeks.  He loved Sehun, but it wasn’t meant to be.  Their love was forbidden and it was starting to physically hurt him to be with Sehun.    

            But at the same time, even though it hurt, it was nice being with the younger.  Because loving Sehun was different. 

            He scrambled out of the room and ran smack into Lay. 

            Lay’s eyes went wide as Suho stumbled into his arms, “Joonmyun!”

            “Yixing?” Suho stumbled back as he tried to get out of Lay’s arms.  He saw Lay’s eyes squint in hurt and suddenly rub the place where his heart was. 

            Suho felt pain shoot through him too and grabbed his heart as well. 

            “We need to talk about this,” Lay went to grab Suho’s hand and as soon as he did, Suho felt the pain go away.  He felt a magnetic power drawing him to Lay, but he let go.

            “I need to find, Sehun.”

            “Joonmyun.” Suho stopped when he heard Lay’s defeated voice.  It was so broken.  He’d never heard Lay this sad in all the time he’d known the other.

            “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Lay looked at the part of the tattoo that was on his hand.

            “I know,” Suho looked down guiltily.  He hesitantly reached over and grabbed Lay’s hand, “I’m sorry.”

            Lay raised his head and looked at Suho, “I know you are.”  He gently squeezed Suho’s hand before letting go. 

            “It’s too painful to stay here.  I’m going back,” Lay traced the back of Suho’s hand where the tattoo’s pattern was darkening, “I hope you come back soon.”

            “Wait,” Suho held tighter onto Lay’s wrist as he started walking away, “You don’t have to leave.  Don’t.”

            “What am I supposed to do?  Watch you slowly forget about me?  I can’t,” Suho could see Lay trying to hold back his tears and he immediately tried to comfort him, but Lay stopped him. 

            “I’m leaving today.  Please don’t make this harder than it is,” Lay looked up and Suho felt pain shoot through his body. He didn’t know if it was from the physical pain he’d been feeling lately or from the look that Lay displayed.  Like a person had given up.  Like a person who had lost himself or the reason for living. 

“Don’t leave,” Suho repeated, “I do want you here, Yixing; you know that,” Suho looked at him with a meaningful expression.   

            “I hope you realize who is right for you soon, Joonmyun.” 

            Lay was disappearing down the street and Sehun ran away a long time ago.  Suho had to make a decision right now. 

            Sehun slowly tried to balance himself as he walked over a thin wooden board.  He was on top of one of the school’s abandoned buildings.  The building was a failed attempt at rebuilding one of the school’s fraternities after the house burned down.  But they never had enough funds so they just left it the way it was. The first floors were sturdy while the top floors contained broken and burnt boards.  No students were allowed near this building but Sehun liked to come here to think.  It was dangerous but he’d never actually felt unsafe as he walked the thin boards of the top floor which had no roof.  He lifted his head and saw the sun glaring back at him and sighed. 

            He remembered the first time he met Suho; it was actually right here.

            Sehun flung his bangs away from his face as the rain kept pouring down on him.  He didn’t think it would rain that fast and he knew it was dangerous to be up here whenever it poured.  The wooden boards become damp and more likely to break under any pressure or weight.  And it also made slipping easier.  He tried to touch the wall beside him and almost fell through one of the spaces on the floor as his hand slipped down it. 

            He heard something and squinted his eyes to where the staircase should be and saw a boy with red hair looking back at him with worried eyes.  Sehun was so surprised at the figure that the hand that was on the wall did slip and then his foot slipped.  He was sure he was going to fall to his death but luckily he felt a hand grip his waist and steady him. 

            “You should be more careful up here.”

            Sehun saw it was the mysterious red head.  The boy gave a weak smile. 

            Sehun carelessly jumped from one board to a thinner one.  After two years of coming up here, he felt like an acrobat.  He knew the boards that were thick enough to hold his weight.  He knew which walls were so thin that his hands would punch straight through.  He knew which floor boards were just above the floor below this one and which boards were thin enough to make him fall to his death if he had a misstep.  He slowly walked over to one of the corners where about three feet of floor remained.  It was right near the edge of the building and he threw his legs over the ledge so he was sitting on it. 

            “What are you doing up here without me?” Suho scolded as soon as he reached the top floor.

            Sehun turned around to look at him and slowly got up.

            “I’m sorry,” Sehun looked down at his feet, “I shouldn’t have run out like that.  I just…”

            “Stupid, get back over here.  You know that’s not safe,” Suho scolded.  He held out his hand and took cautious steps towards Sehun. 

            Sehun smiled, “You’ve been up here how many times with me, hyung?  You’re still scared of falling?” Sehun quickly jumped to one of the floorboards that he knew would lead him to Suho.

            “I’m scared for you,” Suho said as he walked on one of the floorboards. 

            “Well you shouldn’t be.  I know this place like I know -----“Sehun’s eyes went wide as he felt the floorboard crack.  Sehun gave Suho a panicked glance as the floorboard gave another cracking sound.  And then the floorboard snapped in half and Sehun was falling down through the building.  And it wasn’t one of the floorboards that would make him land safely.  There were no other floorboards beneath this one.  He was going to plummet all the way to the bottom.  And Sehun knew that too.