Chapter 3: Assurance
Insightful
Donghae's inordinate crying had formed quite a crowd around them, the brunette reduced to tears because he couldn't see the guilt and intent on Hyukjae's face that said he was sorry. Often throughout his life he had taken things the wrong way, always assuming that everyone had a malicious intent in separating him from the rest of society.
Such an attitude had taken a toll on Donghae, he hadn't left his house properly in years, besides going back and forth to Sungmin's house and to work when he was occasionally required to make an appearance, much too affected by the idea that someone could be judging him and he wouldn't even be able to see it.
Despite bada's insistent at the side of his face he curled in on himself, greeted by the same darkness that he had lived with for his entire life, but it was no longer a comfort as he could feel the excess of people crowding around him.
"Donghae, Donghae i'm sorry."
The persistent apologies flooding his way were meaningless, he was too far gone in his state of emotion to even be dragged out of it by a simple apology. It wasn't until Sungmin elbowed his way through the crowd and crouched down in front of him that Donghae accepted the familiar sense of security, shooing everyone else away to take a break.
Hyukjae shouldn't have been surprised when the normally perky blonde's death glare was shot in his direction. "And why are you still here?" He snapped, almost rivelling Hyukjae's temper at times.
"I didn't know, i'm sorry, and i feel awful... if i could just make it up to him... if you could tell me how-"
"If you go away i'm sure that will do the job." Sungmin hissed, only to be scolded by the small form below him.
"S-sungminnie don't." Donghae whispered, lifting teary eyes up to settling unknowingly right on Hyukjae's.
Earlier they had seemed dark, blind and useless to the poor man that was incapable of viewing the world, but having cried they were now a light brown, catching the sunlight in beautiful flecks that almost had Hyukjae's heart stopping.
He not only wanted to make it up to Donghae for his accidental actions right now, but something inside him wanted to make sure that the other man never recalled any other insults he may have suffered in the past. Donghae wasn't a complex ruitine he had to try and figure out, nor was he some maths problem he could puzzle over in high school, but Donghae sparked an interest in his heart, and Hyukjae wanted some sort of insight into who he was as a person.
"Let me make it up to you." He whispered.
Hyukjae didn't know how long it had took him to coax Donghae out of the corner, helping him up despite Sungmin's protests and keeping his fingers pressed lightly against the inside of Donghae's wrists. He had both of their dogs on leads on the other hand and despite Sungmin threatening with a demonstration of his martial arts and the reminder that he knew of a place on Hyukjae's neck where he could press and he would fall dead in an instant, Hyukjae meerly smiled and promised him that he would take care of Donghae.
Part of him wanted to admit that maybe he was only doing this because he wanted to tell Leeteuk of his good dead and get his Hyung off his back for never apolagising to Donghae in the first place but really, when Donghae looked at him, eyes so unseeing yet so full of an expression that made Hyukjae's heart drop, so scared of the world, he wanted to prove to him that even though he couldn't visually prove that he was a good person, he could spend the time to at least make it up to him.
"No more tears okay?" Hyukjae whispered, eyeing him as if he was about to fall to pieces again, and although Donghae's quivering lip wasn't a good sign, it was at least a start.
"I promise i won't hurt you, i just got a bit... angry back there, i'm not normally like that." A slight lie never hurt but he wanted to give Donghae the most genuine impression of him possible. "You know what it's like you probably love your dog just as much as i do." He murmured, not even being able to guess at the extent Donghae must love his dog, never mind rely on him.
"Please let me at least make it up to you, it's nearly lunch time and i know a really good place to eat." Hyukjae prompted, allowing himself to chew on his lip because he knew that Donghae wouldn't be able to see it.
"I can't." Donghae whispered, ducking his head in shame.
"Why not.." Hyukjae murmured, unable to veil how his voice dripped with childish disappointment.
"...I'm scared." Donghae admitted and the quivering was back but this time in his whole body. His thin frame shook and he bit his own lip to prevent the tears running down his cheeks. Honestly this had just been an awful day and he wanted to go home. Not that he was entirely sure exactly where he was now, somewhere in the car park, Hyukjae's fingers still curled around his dainty wrist for support.
He could feel the other guy shifting, no doubt to come down to Donghae's level, but the other guy had no real judgement of what he looked like. All he could tell that he had a nice voice, slightly husky and ill tempered, whiny when he couldn't get his own way, yet soft right now in his attempt at persuasion. His fingers too were just as soft, long and thin as they unconsciously traced up the underside of his forearm.
"What are you afraid of?" It was a stupid question really.
You.
Everything.
Donghae's fingers outstretched, bumping into Hyukjae's chest and although he could feel his face heating up he skimmed them quickly up to Hyukjae's shoulders, trying to get some insight into how tall the other guy was.
"I've never eaten out before." Donghae admitted and recoiled his hand when he felt Hyukjae's shoulder tense up with surprise.
"What?" Hyukjae spluttered out in surprise, allowing his curiosity to make his voice raise an octave higher.
Donghae stuttered out an explanation as quickly as he could. "I'm scared people will laugh at me... besides i can't read the menu's..."
"I can read it to you. Well you have to have a favorite food right? It'll always be ten times better in a restaurant."
Donghae shook his head, unsure and completely terrified of putting his trust in anyone other than Sungmin ever since high school, he'd allowed people to take him somewhere before, only to be completely abandoned and humiliated, a memory that he didn't wish to be arose, neither did he wish for the moisture to spring back into his eyes.
Rolling his bottom lip out into a pout Donghae pointed down to where he could hear both Choco and Bada's collars jingling below them. "Can the puppies come too?" He whispered turning his hopeful pout up towards Hyukjae's patient gaze.
"O-of course.."
God, this guy is so lucky not to suffer from seeing how cute he is...
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Hyukjae's so scared that he'll slip up again, not wanting to say something inappropriate no matter how uncomfortable the silence is, scared that he'll interupt how concentrated Donghae is on eating his meal.
Donghae had told him that he had a bit of a thing for seafood but he guessed that with one of his senses not working, Donghae's hearing, touch, smell and taste must be so much better and so he liked to eat things that either had an unusual or strong taste. Hyukjae himself just settled for something less healthy, although his food remained untouched as he tried to think of something to say.
With the dogs asleep under the table, Hyukjae's eyes drifted out the window, the streets were virtually empty, although there was a bench across the road, seated on it was a mother juggling her shopping bags and her child, the mother marvelling over the smile her child produces, a beautiful sight that is often taken for granted, his heart dropping when he realizes the man seated across from him will never experience these things.
"Hyukjae?" Donghae murmured around his mouthful, pulling Hyukjae out of his thoughts at hearing Donghae voice his name for the first time.
"Hmm?" He murmured back, patiently drawing his attention away from the window.
"Can you..." Donghae's voice was bashful, and by now Hyukjae was use to how he dipped his head everytime he was embarrassed. "Explain to me what you're like? I'm trying to make a picture." Donghae murmured, showing his teeth in a smile that had Hyukjae almost backwashing into his drink.
Hyukjae himself blushed at this, it was that hardest task in the world for someone to describe themselves, even harder when he could make no comparison to colours or other people because Donghae had seen neither. He knew a good place to start would be his hair, but he had no idea how to go about it. "Well i've died my hair blue, just like how the sky is, it's pretty long, longer than yours. I'm not that taller than you, my Hyung's call me scrawny but i'm not that scrawny." He commented, patting approvingly at his abs. "I have the most ugliest smile in the world so you're not missing out on much there." He told him with a gummy smile to prove his point.
"I'm a dancer too... it's been my favourite thing since forever, and it's my job now even if it doesn't earn me a lot of money." He told him, with a smile.
"Are you any good?" Donghae asked, causing Hyukjae to almost snort a noodle out of his nose.
"Well i should hope so, i have nothing else going for me." Embarrassed Hyukjae went on to explain what Choco was like, how she was bigger than Bada. Their conversation never really died down from their, never once was Donghae's blindness a topic of conversation, nor did it get in the way of things, both ate happily, staying in the restaurant longer than they were probably welcome, Hyukjae voicing questions directed at Donghae.
"What?! You like to sing?" He murmured, distracted by the way that Donghae once again ducked his head as his cheeks heated up.
"Mhm... I like music, it's so easy to visualize things from it." Donghae told him, Hyukjae took note to remember the look on Donghae's face when he spoke about it, and to consider inviting him along to one of Leeteuk's practice session's so Donghae could listen to him sing.
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Hyukjae was driving at a considerably mild speed, wringing his hands around the steering wheel, his eyes unconsciously darting over to Donghae, allowing himself to steal glances at him and taking advantage of the fact that the younger man had no idea that he was doing so. Donghae had fallen into another bout of silence, something he had already learnt was unusual. Although Donghae got shy over the smallest of things, he found that Donghae had a lot to say and Hyukjae was only happy to listen.
"Donghae?" He murmured, waiting for him to reply as his eyes ran over the small man, curled up in the passenger seat with both dogs bundled into his lap, having a hand for each of them as he pet their heads.
"You alright?" Hyukjae prompted, eyes reluctantly drifting back to the road, his pace slowing down because Donghae hadn't given him an address yet and he had at least gone around the block twice as he waited for the other guy to hint at where he lived.
He could sense some kind of inward struggle on the other guys behalf, and half bemused half concerned Hyukjae pulled over, resting his elbows on the steering wheel and tilting his head towards Donghae, the silence gathering between the two of them as he waited for his response.
"I'm scared." Donghae admitted for the second time that day. Hyukjae nodded even though it offered nothing towards Donghae, reaching across to run his fingers through Bada's fur.
"I'm not going to hurt you Hae... if i wanted to i would have by now... i'll just drop you off home and see you at next weeks class if thats what you want." He murmured trying to convey sincerity in his voice. He had no idea at what point he set himself the challenge of getting Donghae to trust him.
"I'm scared of being alone." Donghae admitted, voice cutting Hyukjae's thoughts off as his brown eyes skimmed over in Hyukjae's direction as if he was hoping by some miracle that he could be able to view the blue haired male.
Hyukjae's heart clenched at his words, fingers having been previously running through soft fur stilled as they accidentally skimmed over Donghae's index finger. "You could get Sungmin Hyung to come sit with you?" He murmured, perplexed at how Donghae's expression didn't change, there was some deeper meaning behind his words that had Hyukjae's heart reaching out for the guy.
He'd suffered something in the past that caused him an underline fear and Hyukjae held his breath when Donghae's finger skimmed over his own bruised cheek in thought.
He had a feeling that it wasn't just that one event that had Donghae terrified of the world and of trusting people and as much as Hyukjae's curiosity wanted to prise it out of him, he held back from interrupting Donghae's current thoughts.
They stayed in silence for a while, Hyukjae's fingers ghosting over the dogs fur, occasionally brushing against Donghae's fingers as a reminder that he was still there.
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It took Donghae a while to trust Hyukjae enough to reveal his address, knowing nothing bad could really happen, but the potential was there enough to spark a fear in his heart, something that was even present when Sungmin was nearby. He was absolutely terrified of revealing where he lived, his only safe abode in the world, but he knew that without Hyukjae's help he would have absolutely no idea where he was and he was bound to get lost.
Hating to rely on someone he'd just met, Donghae's hands trembled as he jumped out of the car, swivelling back around at Hyukjae's animated laughter.
He heard the other door shut and squeaked when Donghae's hand brushed against his. "Donghae you took the wrong dog." Hyukjae chuckled, swapping them over and taking the right dog back into his arms but keeping his hand against Donghae's leading him to the door even though he sensed that Donghae didn't need it.
"Are you coming to class next week?" Hyukjae murmured, trying to keep his voice as collected as possible despite hearing the urgency behind his question.
"Yeah, of course." Donghae answered, busying himself with opening his front door and slipping into his house.
Hyukjae smiled to himself, stepping back in the direction of the car.
"Hyukjae?" Donghae's voice rang out from behind him.
Hyukjae turned his full attention back to him for a moment before he realized that he wouldn't be able to tell that he was all ears. "Yes Donghae?"
"Thanks... for today."
"No problem." Smiling to himself as he shoved his hands into his pockets, hunching his shoulders and strolling back to his car.
"Hyuk?" Donghae whispered.
Hyukjae thought he was imagining Donghae's soft whisper of his name, and his heart swelled slightly at him shortening it without question.
"I'm sure you're smile isn't ugly, i bet it's the most beautiful thing in the world."
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A/N: Donghae you so cheesy.
Poor HaeHae's past will be revealed some time soon.
Whos curious.
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