Chapter 4: Accident
Insightful
A/N: This Chapter is longer than the others but Chapter 5 will be more exciting.
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The next week went excruciatingly slow for Hyukjae, he often fell back in his ruitine and it only took Leeteuk to pause the music and turn to him accusingly, eyebrow quirking at the ridiculous smile spreading across Hyukjae's face. "And what are you smiling about?" He questioned, the other dancers eyes turning to him curiously.
Eunhyuk snapped out of it, not fortunate to be quick enough to lower his friends suspicions. "Nothing Hyung, you're voice is just really beautiful." He complimented him, patting him on the back and practically shoving him back into his spot, trying to rub at the smile creasing the corners of his lips.
He'd been training Choco all week, in hopes of getting her to actually listen to him for starters. She sat now when he told her too so that was at least an improvement.
The next day he rolled into class early, crouched down in the corner of the room, Choco placed between his knees, trying to persuade her to sit so that at least when Sungmin walked it he showed some sign of improvement.
"Hyukjae!" Sungmin's voice rang out as he strolled into the room, his own dog, off leash bounded forward to undo all the work he'd just done getting Choco to finally sit still.
Sungmin look more overjoyed to see him than he expected, and Hyukjae wondered whether Donghae had given him positive feedback, or whether the fact that Donghae was still alive was enough proof that Hyukjae had no murderous tendancies.
It wasn't long before the rest of the class came in with their dogs and Hyukjae was still slightly ashamed that all the women had much larger dogs than he did. It was only when Sungmin set them doing some sort of toy recall that Hyukjae's attention was drawn towards the closed door, expecting Donghae to drift in at any moment. Dragging Choco over to Sungmin despite her protests at being interupted from greeting some other dogs , Hyukjae's intentions were pulled away from training his dog... in fact, his attention had been pulled in every other direction than the dance ruitine he should have been focusing on all week.
"Hyung... how come Donghae-sshi isn't here yet?" He questioned, forehead creasing at how Sungmin didn't seem overly concerned.
"He... has bad days Hyukjae, sometimes he doesn't want to go outside and i don't blame him you know?" He murmured, ignorant to how Hyukjae crossed his arms as he tried to settle the guilt in the pit of his stomach. The Donghae he'd met last week, who had so much to say for himself, was completely different to the guy he'd left sprawled in a bundle of shaking limbs all those weeks back.
Maybe there was more to Donghae than he'd first though, maybe it was so wrong of Hyukjae to want to unravel his fears and understand them as clear as any dance ruitine he'd been handed throughout his career.
The rest of the class went slowly, Hyukjae retreated to Donghae's favored corner, away from the women and grew more frustrated with Choco's inability to listen to him, enough so that he was somewhat relieved when Sungmin ran out of the room and he could stop pretending that he actually knew what he was doing.
It took him a moment of staring dumbfoundedly down at his dog for a light bulb to go off in his hair dye polluted brain, and he was non-descriptly scrambling after Sungmin, prising the door open only to see the slightly stricken looking Sungmin.
"Hyung?" He questioned, trying to strike a response from the guy who was just standing there tapping his phone against his bottom lip.
"It's Donghae... he fell down the stairs and... Hyukjae i can't interupt the class again, people are paying me for this." He murmured, and Hyukjae jumped at the chance probably more than he should have.
"I'll go." He told him, already scooping his dog up and making a run for his car.
Sungmin's eyebrows rose, despite his concern for his friend he couldn't help but smile at how hopelessly keen Hyukjae was. "Aish that kid." He murmured, shouldering the door to slip back inside.
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Hyukjae's driving had always been slightly irrational. He took the flicker of amber lights for a "hurry the up and you'll get away with it." Speeding on over the lights to almost take out an oblivious Halbae who was currently staggering across the traffic lights. Hyukjae's thought pattern had been just as irrational lately. With trying to juggle all the different dance ruitines to every single song that dear old Jungsu kept throwing at him, trying to train his reckless dog with threats from his apartment manager that if he didn't get her to stop howling at night then the both of them would be out.
And now there was Donghae. Donghae was a puzzle he couldn't solve, friendships had always been handed to Hyukjae on a plate, like Leeteuk for example, a college now, but a long time friend that he'd never been able to get rid of, and certainly not someone he sought after. If he told any of his friends that he was persuing a friendship with a terror struck blind man they would ask who he was and what he had done with Hyukjae.
Whether it was the change of heart he had the moment he set eyes upon someone vulnerable enough for Hyukjae to finialy understand what sympathy was, or whether he was simply so interested in Donghae's current strength to face the world... or not quite, but to actually live life to the fullest, despite his predicament, which made Hyukjae feels ashamed that he complained so much.
What he didn't quite know was that Donghae wasn't quite living his life to the fullest, ever since high school he'd been living in fear, the darkness that had always greeted him was filled with the anxiety of someone, anyone tormenting him the way they had all these years ago.
He knew it wasn't logical to be thinking these thoughts, while he was sprawled on the last couple steps, forehead still wedged against the wall and well and and truly too stiff to even attempt to rise himself to his feet. He didn't quite know whether the tears running down his face could be put down to the sinking feeling he seemed to get about this time every Saturday, when he had barely anything to entertain himself other than the memories that seemed to be swarming in the silence at the moment, tormenting him that even if he got up, he'd get knocked down again.
Sobbing as he tried to clear the lump in his throat he curl himself inward, a string of whimpers released from his pale lips. Well done Donghae, not only are you blind but you've gone and paralyzed yourself too.
"Why is it every time we meet you're crying hmm?"
A voice called out and Donghae had to bite his hand to muffle a scream before he could calm down before he could truely locate the voice among many in his memory of people.
Hyukjae.
Hyukjae?!
He could hear the others footsteps, oddly soft against the wooden flooring and it was just as Donghae was reaching out to push himself up that his fingers brushed against Hyukjae's shoe and his hand recoiled shyly, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he felt Hyukjae sink down next to him.
"Are you hurt Donghae?" Hyukjae rasped out, breaking the silence.
"No..."
"Where?" Hyukjae's finger tips touched the small of Donghae's back, the area of worry and Donghae flinched away get the noise that escaped his voice was not one of agony but of suppressed fear.
"Alright! alright i'm not going to hurt you remember? Just at least let me help you up."
Donghae rubbed the back of his hand against his cheeks trying to persuade them not to heat up, throwing a shaky hand out in Hyukjae's direction for him to help him up but instead he let out a rather undignified squeak when Hyukjae's strong arms circled underneath him, lifting him bridle style and padded off in a direction Donghae knew well, none too surprised when Hyukjae lowered himself down onto the couch.
"You sure i don't need to take you to the hospital?" Hyukjae questioned, and Donghae couldn't help but inwardly smile, knowing that Hyukjae was hovering over him.
"I'm fine." Donghae managed, his voice not quite coming out like how he had planned, cracking around the edges, and despite himself he couldn't stop hiccuping, violent shaking breaths that lifted his shoulders up and caused his whole body to suffer under the impact.
"Why are you still crying, hmm?"
"You want me to go get Sungmin Hyung-"
"No no... please don't leave me." Donghae whispered, unable to locate exactly where Hyukjae was and that was the only thing he told himself that was holding him back from just snotting all over the front of his shirt.
Donghae could feel the silence between them sitting heavily and he knew Hyukjae's question still stood. He ached all over but he was man enough not to cry about things like that. The real reason he was still shuddering with sobs wasn't something he thought he was brave enough to voice to a stranger.
A strong sense of surprised washed over him when he felt Hyukjae's arms around him again, wondering where he was taking him this time but he only resulted in being drawn in closer towards Hyukjae's chest, his head resting awkwardly against his chest for a moment before he sniffled, rolling his shoulders and turning himself into him, half pretending it was just Sungmin to calm himself down, half taking in the intoxicatingly new smell of Hyukjae.
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"Go on Doghae, use your keen sense of smell to find your clothes.."
Donghae could always recall how cold the tiles had felt, digging mercilessly into his ribs, his scrawny fatigue was something that probably fueled all of this in the first place. How at times he still felt utterly helpless against them, because when he was asleep, it became reality.
"I thought god didn't punish twice." One of them sneered as his foot connected with Donghae's stomach, sending him crawling into the wall, fingers desperately grasping, in search of something anything that he could use to defend himself. But he never knew when the next attack would come, and if they were silent, he couldn't even locate whether they were across the room or right behind him.
He didn't know what was worse, the idea of not knowing where they were, not being able to locate where the next attack would come from, or the words that seemed to bite into his subconcience, his mind was all he had, all he had to rely on to run his world, and now it was tainted with words Sungmin had already reminded him not to listen too.
"Being blind's bad enough, but he's a too."
"Maybe he'll enjoy it if we leave him here until everyone comes into class."
He didn't know how long he lay there, rolling over until his bare skin touched the tiles and cooled the bruising that was no doubt already starting to form. He could make nothing out from the vivid laughter surrounding him, gradually increasing until Sungmin's voice broke through, screeching at everyone to get out.
"Donghae..."
He could still feel Sungmin's hands on his hair in the dream, comforting yet it was a much more weighted feeling then it had been in previous dreams.
"Donghae wake up..."
Donghae snapped himself awake, sitting up with just as much haste, ignorant to the pain striking straight up the middle of his back.
"Donghae you screamed in your sleep.." Hyukjae whispered, and Donghae had never relied on expressions to pick out the difference between malice and concern, but Hyukjae's concern unnerved him, because he didn't quite know just how much he might have revealed.
Swiping angrily at his face, bottom lip quivering hard enough for him to bite it.
"They....They..." Donghae wheezed, trying to draw in breaths that would stop Hyukjae from assuming the worst.
Hyukjae's face creased into confusion. He had drifted off the moment he realized Donghae had gone limp against him, completely curled up with his head buried in his abs, not quite the most practical position in the world but Hyukjae had been reluctant to move him, up until he started emitting soft whimpers from the back of his throat. He considered seeing if Donghae had his phone on him and calling Sungmin but he didn't want to intrude.
He honestly expected nothing else from someone like Donghae. Everyone was prone to nightmares at some point in their lives and although most grew out of it, it seemed Donghae's were very present, and although he'd been crying before, he was positively trembling right now, fingers curling around handfuls of Hyukjae's shirt like a lifeline. He knew it didn't mean anything, Donghae was clearly desperate, and he hated how easily he trusted people. It only left room for more devastation, and although Hyukjae's guilt at possibly adding to the tears, the overpowering need to comfort him won out.
He was glad that Donghae couldn't see his expression at the moment, completely startled by his outburst of tears and he had no idea how to deal with them. It was embarrassing really that he didn't quite know how to offer comfort because he rarely sought it for himself, but Donghae didn't seem to mind the awkward silence settling over them as Hyukjae started trying to smooth down his hair and brush away any memories of the asumingly awful nightmare the younger had just had.
"Hyuk?" There it was again, the automatic use of a nickname, one that not even Leeteuk used that often.
Making a soft hum of recognition Hyukjae waited for Donghae to speak, eyes stealing a small glance down at his face, he held so many natural expressions that he himself had never witnessed, and despite the tears rolling down his chin, he was kind of beautiful.
"Thank you."
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A/N: Omg =.= I'm so sorry it took me this long
Also has anyone watched 'The werewolf Boy' it is literally the saddest film i've ever watched
-cries-
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