I can't believe it's been a year since i updated this fic (or any others)

I apolagise soooooo much for not doing so, but i found it difficult to write. Whilst i was away i was busy with exams/ relationships/ school and...

I SAW SJ IN CONCERT 

It was honestly the best day in my life, if you're interested in reading my fanaccount of it click here: {x}

Again i'm sorry about my absence, if you're a new reader, or even someone subscribed from last year i suggest you read all the previous chapters again before reading this updated chapter. 

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Hyukjae stumbled into the doorway, baffled at Donghae's ability to navigate and be less clumsy than himself. And he was supposed to be the dancer. His cheeks were still a vivid red against his pasty skin and he wanted so badly to put that down to the fact that it was reasonably cold outside.
He couldn't bring himself however to get Donghae's words out of his head. Both the fact that Donghae thought he was handsome, and the fact that he had noticed that he was prone to his feet smelling like death on the odd occassion. "I didn't mean to scare you-" He interupted the silence, because Donghae's jumpy, vulnerable expression was tormenting him. 

His hands, as ever hovered in the air between them, torn between pulling him in, and hesitating there knowing he couldn't see the decision he was trying to make. "Did something happen today?" He questioned him, and the way Donghae's mouth pulled down at the edges, there was no mistaking the answer. His expression crumpled and his bad day was made obvious but it was made worse by the shrill ringing of his house phone, situation right beside the couch. 

Hyukjae was ignorant to the way Donghae's breath hitched, his shoulders instantly tensing at the sound of a ringing phone. When he failed to move Hyukjae strolled towards it nonchalantly. Maybe it was Sungmin and he could get him to talk to Donghae about his day. He was a better candidate for the whole comforting thing, because Hyukjae was still scared to invade what he felt he had already invaded. That didn't stop him from intending to answer the phone though. 

"No!"

Donghae rarely even spoke above a normal octave but it was enough for Hyuk to twirl around, arms shooting out to catch the younger who had lunged in his direction. Donghae's forehead hit his collarbone hard, sending Hyuk backwards over the arm of the couch, and a very flustered disorientated Donghae sprawled close to his crotch. 

"Hae..." Hyukjae broke the silence left from the absense of the ringing, his blue hair falling into his eyes, but just like Donghae he didn't need his vision to know exactly where the other man was. "Could you move your hand-"

Bewildered Donghae sat himself up, covering his cheeks with his palms and patted at them, but his small hands wern't big enough to hide the flush spreading across his cheekbones.  

Hyuk once again curses the fact that he is visually able, because the blush on Hae's cheeks does all kinds of thing to him.

Adorable.

What the hell Lee Hyukjae?

"Donghae..." He broke the silence, reaching out to steady him as he curled his legs in and gave him more space to sit down. 

When he got no reponse he continued on with his question, something he'd been wondering for a while. How on earth did he trust so easily, when he could never know who was really standing two feet away from him. 

"How do you decide if someones good or not?" The pause that settled between them was nerve wracking. Maybe it was too much of a personal question, Hyukjae knew something had upset him today, and despite how close he had been to him, especially in the past week, he didn't know if this was pushing it. But Donghae's response touched him, and affected him more than his toothy smile or deep blush ever had. 

"I know people from what comes out of their mouth, and what's in their heart." He told him, giving him a small wavering smile. 

They talked for hours after that, never once bringing up the subject of what had upset Hae at work, and gradually he came out of himself again, the bubbly Donghae, with his ridiculous choppy hair and the little half moon creases beneath his eyes when he smiled. 

"I don't want to be alone tommorrow." Donghae whispered out, his cheek half buried in Hyukjae's shoulder, having drifted closer to him, dark eyes locked on his face when he spoke. 

"I have to go to work." It took him a great deal of effort not to just promise him the world and not go to practice tommorrow. But Leeteuk would have his head if he didn't show. 

"Unless... Donghae do you want to come with me tommorrow?" The way Hae's face lit up, cheeks dimpling, he didn't regret inviting him at all. 

"R-really?"

Hyukjae wanted nothing more than for Donghae to be able to see the gummy smile on his face, that was proof of how much he wanted to take him to work with him tommorrow. 

"Neh! You can meet Kai, he's our youngest and one of our best dancer's... i'm fearing he's getting better than i am. And Shindong, he choreographs what we're too stupid to do. Although... i know how much you like singing Hae, i think who you'll really enjoy meeting is Leeteuk-"

As soon as the name rolled from his lips he knew he'd made a mistake, stopping his sentance short as his single lidded eyes flicked tentatively in the brunette's direction. 

The smile faltered, something pained spread through his eyes, clouding them in a different way entirely, while Hyukjae tried to reach him. 

"Donghae... Hae.. i can explain-"

Inwardly kicking himself he reached out for him, fingertips brushing across Hae's cheek, where the bruise had faded but obviously the memory remained, brought back by the name Hyukjae had obliviously called out that night.

He had been careless, he hadn't know how much he would begin to care for the younger, if if he was capable of predicting that, he would have apolagised before this.

But it was too late and Donghae was scrambling blindly, literally away from him, such a familiar surrounding turning against him, tables bumped into hips, walls caressing him in a hard shocking jolt until he found the door, swinging it open and running ill-equipped into the rain away from someone who he had thought he had trusted.     

Hyukjae spared him a moment too long, collecting his thoughts and simultaniously hating himself for slipping up. The weather was all too similar to that fateful night where he accidentaly punched Donghae in the face and left him there while his guilt ran wild and he looked for Leeteuk.

And as quick as the boy had disappeared that night, when Hyukjae got up, damp socks squealching against the doormat, donghae had disappeared into the downpoor. He slipped on his shoes, bending the edges as he shoved his toes into them with haste, sprinting out the door and pulling it shut. "Donghae!" His voice echoed but he could barely hear himself above the rain, and it wasn't long before his hair was plastered to his scalp, and if he was this soaked, he could only imagine how cold Donghae was right now. 

The adrenaline running through him was nothing after a days worth of dancing, and he couldn't logically think of a place where Hae might have gone. 
That's because you don't know him Hyukjae...

He knew Donghae was rather introvert, but he didn't realise how much he had opened up to the younger about himself, when in reality he could barely name a few things in return. 

Circling back around, walking streets that he himself could barely recognise in the rain, he passed the building that sungmin uses to hold the dog training classes. His eyes passed once, twice over the doorway, and it took him a third time of nearly stomping on past to spot Donghae curled up out from the rain. "Hae..." He breathed, squeezing in away from the rain, shaking the moisture out from his locks.

"Sungmin?" His little voice rung out softly, causing the elder's heart to drop.

"No. Sorry."

The silence that hung between them threatened Hyukjae to give into every temptation to walk away out of clear inexperience of what he should do. But instead he knelt down until his knees were touching Donghae's, his shaky breaths warmer than the surrounding air and leaving little trails that tried to reach out to Donghae more than he could at the moment.

"Thank god i found you, the rain was really starting to ruin my hair." His dry laughter made it obvious that he had no experience with situations like these, and he made a weak attempt at being funny.    

The silence that hung between them was uncomfortable, his lack of social skills didn't aid him in conjuring up a decent apology. "Can you come home. you'll get sick and-"

"Go away."

The outburst shocked him, although it can from a small voice that squeaked, the lack of trust behind the words was like a dagger to his heart. 

"Hae... i can explain-"

But Donghae left him no room to do so, the heart broken sobbing that seemed to come from the depths of his very being had his whole body quivering and in return, shook Hyukjae's own due to the contact made by their knees in the small place. 

"It was a mistake, i was drunk, i thought you were someone else if i had know it was you, if i had KNOWN you Donghae, it wouldn't have happened. I've wanted to apologise the whole time really i-"

At the mention of alcohol, Donghae's hair dipped to the side in dismay, until his chin was tucked protectively against his chest, hair curling atop his head, pale lips rolling out in disappointment. Alcohol was never an excuse for violence and just like the first time Hyukjae had upset him, no apology was going to be enough to stop him from crying. 

The sincerity in his voice, or the grave expression on his rain soaked face was doing nothing towards fixing what words couldn't fix. 

Oh a whim he leant forward, perhaps intending to pick him up, carry him home and leave from his life entirely, Hyukjae shocked even himself when his lips connected with Donghae's, a soft one sided kiss that came out of nowhere. 

He expected the usual red blush to overtake Donghae's now stone cold face, but what he did not expect was the tiny palm that lashed out and slapped him clean against his cheek. 
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Getting Donghae home after that had taken time, his cheek stung, but he guessed that he deserved it.  The silence that hung over Donghae's head, his usually excitable perky conversational ways had disappeared and that was what scared Hyukjae the most. 

No matter how many times the word 'sorry' left his mouth, it seemed to have lost its meaning. 

Hyukjae tried his best but he could see that he had overstepped the line... and so as reluctant as he was, he picked up his coat and headed towards the door, just as he was about to pull it shut, the noise of the hinge closing the door had Donghae leaping to his feetand Hyukjae's heart flutter. 

"Hyukjae."

Had he forgiven him? Did Donghae not want him to go?    

He swung the door back open again and he was glad, in that moment, that Donghae hadn't seen the hopeful smile that lit up his features. 
"You forgot Choco." He said emotionlessly as he placed the ginger dog into his arms.

"O-oh... thank you."

The door was shut on hyukjae and whatever relationship they could've had.

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A week and a half passed, and Hyukjae was falling behind. He was forever troubled by the fact that not only was his pride hurt in not being able to fix someone broken, but by the fact that he had messed up majorly, and probably hurt Donghae even more than he had been before. 

His feet dragged unenthusiastically against the training room floor, staring at his reflection in the mirror, his blue hair had started to grow out and fade and his black roots were starting to show. He decided he needed to dye it a more subtle... less childish colour. The others had noticed his foul moods but this one was unlike others previous. 

Shindong volunteered Kai to approach him, the bubbly long limbed teenager bounded up to him mid ruitine. "H-hyung-nim..." He whispered, glancing over at the others for support. "Has something been bothering you lately?" He asked tentatively. 

Hyukjae tried his best to smile at the tanned boy, who he knew had been set up by the others to investigate. "Not really Jongin." He lied, adressing the younger by his proper name which caught him off guard. "I guess my dancing just hasn't been up to scratch lately." He mumbled under his breath, trying to lift the mood, and get the attention of of him he beamed up at him. "But don't think you're better than me, not yet."

Laughing he reached out to playfully grab the taller boy by the shoulders. 

They were interupted however by the door swinging open, the force too much and causing it to bounce off the wall. 

"Oops."

"D-donghae?!" Hyukjae stuttered which immediately reassured the blind male that he did indeed have the right room. 

The curious on lookers watched as the cane slid along the wooden flooring, hitting nothing until it bumped off Hyukjae's scuffed black boots. 

Instinctively reaching out to steady him, Hyukjae's hand stopped and recoiled before it could touch his elbow. "What are you doing here?"
"You said i could come and visit you when you practised. I asked Sungmin Hyung to find the address for me." He told him, bright smile lighting up his face as he beamed up at him. 

Hyukjae's heart was in the process of sinking and then proceeded to rattle around in his chest nervously. "But i thought... you were... mad at me?"
The shake of a head that had his messy brown mop bounce of his forehead was more of a relief than Hyukjae had ever experienced in his life. "Theres a difference between being scared and angry." He whispered, large unseeing eyes flickering over to where he could sense the others were. 

Taking the risk and bowing at the waist he couldn't see the way that Leeteuk was pointedly trying to get Hyukjae's attention. 

He settled Donghae down in the battered plastic chair that lingered in the corner of the practise room and although distracted, Hyukjae had more feeling in his legs than he'd had in weeks. 

"Okay, from the top."

The mixture of Leeteuk's smooth voice, with their fluid dance moves behind was close to perfect, although in such a small room Hyukjae and Kai had to ensure they didn't bump into each other. 

Donghae had his hands folded in his lap, swaying from side to side at the sound of Leeteuk's voice, although the song was new to him, he connected with it almost instantly, eyes closed, envisioning the music entirely. 

When the music came to a standstill as the song finished though, he clapped, but the left side of his mouth was downturned slightly. Although he could hear the sounds of their feet slapping against the floor, he had no idea what the dancing was like. 

Hyukjae bounded over, skidding to a stop and doubled over with his hands on his knees to get his breath back. "Did you like it?" He asked hopefully, filled with the energy that was much like Bada in the morning before he gave him his breakfast. 

"I wish i could see you dance." His voice was timid, because he knew there was no point wishing for something that could never happen. 
Hyukjae was taken aback for a moment, presented with a problem that he had foolishly overlooked. He left him there for a moment before walking over to their old CD player, flicking through noisily trying to find a certain song. Once he found it, he flashed an endearing smile over Leeteuk, silently asking him to at least try and work with him here. 

Donghae let out a surprised squeak when he was dragged to his feet, and shuffled awkwardly into the middle of the room, tiny cold hands curled around Hyukjaes. 

Clueless he went along with it as Hyukjae's boots were shoved beneath his own, until he was standing on his feet. "Hyuk what-"
The music started before an explanation was offered and Hyukjae moved, causing him to gasp and reach out, clutching awkwardly to the front of his shirt for support. 

"Shhh... just hold onto my hands okay." He whispered, closer to his ear than Donghae had thought he was. 

The song was... almost embarrassingly slow, compared to the majority of the album being upbeat. This face soon caused the colour to rush to his face, alongside the fact that one of Hyukjae's hands had settled on his waist, guiding him around the room on his feet, dancing and in turn, bringing Donghae along with him. He spun around slowly so as not to surprise him, but Donghae soon got the hang of what he was doing, grinning ear to ear as he knotted his fingers with his and slowly stepped off of his feet to dance for himself. 

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Despite Donghae's protests that he wasn't wearing anything nice enough, Hyukjae still insisted that he take him out for dinner. 

"I totally owe you." He said, unable to stop smiling since Donghae had turned up that morning. However Donghae could still sense that he was stepping tentatively in everything he did, scared that he would upset him again. 

Donghae sang along comfortably to the song that was on the radio, and Hyuk had a sinking feeling in his stomach. It wasn't anything similar to what he had felt when the door was shut on him almost two weeks ago. But it was something else, acompanied with the smile on his face as Donghae hit all the high notes perfectly, his stomach felt like it was falling, and perhaps it was, perhaps he was falling, or he'd already fallen for the brown haired man singing in the seat beside him.             

It took a while to read the whole menu to Donghae but once they had ordered what they wanted they sat in a comfortable silence. Hae's head was turned towards the window, to anyone else it might have seemed as if he was watching the world go by, but the way his chin was tilted up towards the sky, Hyukjae knew he was enjoying the way the sun was hitting his face. 

Hyukjae of course, payed no interest towards the outside world, his eyes were settled on Donghae, watching the way his cheeks bunched up when he smiled to himself. 

The food arrived and was placed in front of them and Donghae's fingers tapped against the table in search of his fork. Hyukjae, as silently as possible reached over and slid it within his reach, unable to bare watching him struggle to find it. 

"We're okay now?" He broke the silence. 

"Of course, i trust you." Donghae announced unattractively around his mouthful of chicken. 

He carried on eating for a few more moments, thinking about how miraculous it was that Donghae decided to forgive him and had made his way to his work place all on his own. He was glad that he had found it in his heart to forgive him.

"Donghae." He called out when they were nearly finished.

He didn't even mind when Donghae's eyes struggled to settle on the location of his face. 

"Thank you."        

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THANK YOU THANK YOU TO ANYONE STILL READING

If i'm honest i was having a serious writers block.. and it lasted me a year.

And although i'm still busy the ability has come back and i intend to get this story finished. 

Sorry if this chapter i haven't proof read it i just wanted to get it up as quickly as possible for you guys. 

If you have ANY suggests about what you want to see next happen in the plot, feel free to post in the comments below and i will take it into consideration :)