Is this night, or is it the season of showering stars?

Chapter 4 – Answers

 

 

 

            I immediately froze in my tracks. Did he see everything? What if he misunderstands? What if he thinks I’m cheating on him? Oh god! This was exactly why I hated everything! God refuses to let me live a single day in happiness.

            “J-Jongin…” I gulped, looking everywhere but at him. He didn’t reply, he just tilted his head at me.

            “What’s wrong? Why do you look so nervous?” he asked confused. Once I realised he saw nothing I sighed in relief and mustered a smile at him.

            “It’s nothing…. Why are you here?” I asked. He chuckled and came closer to bump our foreheads together, just as Taemin did a few minutes ago. Except with Jongin, it felt right.

            “So what? I can’t see my girlfriend?” he asked wrapping his arms lazily around me.

            “…I never said that…” I hid a blush dipping my head and avoiding his piercing gaze.

            “Are you free this evening?” he asked.

            “Maybe… why?” I asked.

            “So I can steal you away and make love to you beneath a tree somewhere deep into the forest where your voice can echo for me alone to hear” he whispered as my eyes widened and I pushed him away.

            “MWORAGO?!!?” I gasped at his proposal with a red face. He stared at me before bursting out into a fit of giggles. Aish!

            “Kim Jongin! I’m going to KILL you!” I screamed and chased him around the college as he ran away while laughing at me. This boy! Oh my god! I’m going to go crazy!

 

            “Yah! Get back here!” I hissed as he ducked behind Suho and I reached out to grab him.

            “What did he do now?” the others asked.

            “Nothing” he answered but his mischievous grin gave him away.

            “He was being Jongin; Dumb and erted!” I hissed and just before he could slip away I grabbed his shirt and pulled him back lashing out on his arms. The others just shook their heads while chuckling at us.

            “Ah~ Young love!” Luhan sighed.

            “Pssh… says the single one” Kris chuckled while patting Jongin’s back when I finished.

            “Yah! Shut up!” Luhan pouted.

            “HEY! Guys guess what!” Lay screamed, running over to us.

            “What?” we stared at him confused.

            “The date for the Open Day has been confirmed!” he squealed.

            “Oh no! That means we’ll have to practice even harder!” Sehun whined, shaking his hands in the air.

            “Jiyeon, our class is starting soon” Yunha noted as we excused ourselves from them and made our way to the class.

 

            My mind drifted off to who knows where as we sat in class. I couldn’t help but remember my conversation with Taemin from earlier. Now that he was here what did that mean for Jongin and my relationship? I don’t want to lose Jongin and I most certainly don’t want to meddle any more with Taemin. It’s bad enough he’s here… what if things get out of hand and I just lose everything altogether?! Oh god. I don’t know what to do…

            I remember that day clearly… I was running from my foster parents with such fear, driven through my body. I didn’t know where to go, who to run to… everything was too much for me. My foster parents were horrible; they treated me like utter crap. I wanted to run away from there but I couldn’t. When the housing agency came to check on me, I was forced to grin and say I liked it. My body was in too much pain and I wanted to leave this place so badly. I couldn’t handle it anymore; I escaped, running far away from that house.

            My feet carried me to some place I didn’t know, into the care of some guy I didn’t know. I still remember how he’d taken me in and given me a place to rest and a something to eat.

            “I’m Taemin, it’s ok, you don’t have to be afraid” he smiled at me and outstretched his hand as I took it and gently shook it.

            “J-Jiyeon…” I trembled and from there he kept me with him and under his care I remained alive. He was like an older brother and then my foster parents found me and I had to run away once more. I ran and ran until I was faced with a bunch of gangsters in a dark alley one night. I didn’t know what to do, so I welcomed my destiny and one by one I managed to take them down, not knowing my own strength. From there, I became a stone hearted child. A person who rose from the depths of ice, so heartless and stoic even nature hunched away in fear.

            I grew dark and mysterious, became the leader of a gang and destroyed everyone else from the power I gained; because of loneliness and hopelessness. I was the walking dead, awaiting death every day, hoping that someday death would finally challenge me and take me, but no, it tested me and my patience. Everyone from that area had feared my presence, my name alone had them quivering in their seats. Eye-contact was not an option; you either bow down or avoid my eyes completely. A beating from my hands was the scariest thing ever; no one would dare cross my territory. I was dangerous and extremely short tempered.

            Taemin had found me once more and so did my foster father. He had tried to get me once more but I had grown stronger, and sensible. By the time he charged towards me I’d already twisted his hand backwards in an unnatural position and he was squirming in pain, begging for my forgiveness. But then, he crossed his limits. He kidnapped Taemin, he tied him up and tortured him every day unless I gave myself up to him. What was I to do? I couldn’t let the one who helped me suffer because of a worthless piece of crap.

            I gave myself to him and Taemin was set free. It was a painful memory but I force it all the way down, promising myself I’d never have to remember it… Taemin was free but then… I wasn’t so lucky. The police found us a few weeks after. I was traumatized and sent to a specialist where I spent almost a year in the hospital, caved into a room of white, no windows, no breathing space, I was not even allowed to go outside. Every day was the same four white, blank walls over and over. I would cry myself to sleep every single night, but the question was… did I ever really sleep?

            Or did I convince myself that I was sleeping even though my eyes were wide open and I was staring off into nothingness. Pain had clouded me so much I forgot the meaning of breathing. Taemin came every day to check on me but there were a few times when the doctors would allow him. Even his friends would sometimes come with him but I had been so traumatized I wasn’t able to associate myself with males. I couldn’t look at a male person without shrinking back into fear and screaming out in pain, as the memories flashed through my brain like a knife, stabbing my eyes out, painfully carving its horror through my eyes.

            It was only after a year when they finally decided to let me out. I was slowly making progress and I had even begun communicating with animals and the elderly. I remembered my name once more, my birthday, everything but I knew how much to reveal and how much to keep hidden. It was like teaching a baby how to walk. I was taking things step by step, and understanding life once more. After I was cure once more, they only allowed me into the hands of people who were trustworthy and caring. I never had a properly last name until Taemin brought a family for me. This family was perfect and helped me so much in my life. I don’t think I could ever repay them. They did everything for my sake.

            The Jungs. Everything was going fine when they adopted me, I never felt unwanted or unneeded; they even moved to a new neighbourhood for my sake when Taemin left me. I didn’t know what to do when he left me at the time I needed him the most but then I started school and I made friends with this girls. Lee Saeli. She was so sweet, kind and innocent. I really liked being her friend, I felt the need to protect her because of her small frame and big eyes. We’d do everything together, sleep, eat, and hang out. Everything. Sometimes we wouldn’t be able to live without talking to each other. We were what one would refer to as best friends. But I learnt the hard way.

            Nothing lasts forever. Everything must come to an end. I was a fool to believe she actually cared for me. I was a fool to think she was innocent. She turned everything against me, left me stranding in the middle of the dessert as she kept twisting the knife deeper and deeper into my heart. Destroying me completely; and after all that, the memories we shared kept coming back to me. She was like a rough sea, at high tide, drowning me in pain as the memories we shared kept coming back to me, wave by wave. I hated it! Hated it so much! I would’ve burst out into tears right there if Yunha didn’t tap my shoulders and ask me if I was okay.

            “What is it?” I asked.

            “You’re bleeding!” she pointed to my palms that were now stained with the crimson of my blood. I released my palms from my tight grip and looked at the crescent shapes my nails made, digging to the soft flesh.

            “Oh… I…” I didn’t know how to reply; I just stared at me hand as she pulled my wrists and began wiping my hand with a sheet of baby wipes. It stung but that didn’t compare to the pain I felt at the moment. My head soon grew light and I felt as though everything in the room began floating. Before I knew it, my eyes were closing and I was leaning way too much to the left then, everything went black. Was it my time to go?

A/N: Happy Valentine's Day everyone! How are you all planning on spending the day? Well, your lonely author will be here all alone, walking down the street, in my loneliness while everybody is just having the time of their lives, and I'll be like: "Bish Please! My korean men make me happy enough!" 

Anyways! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter >.< Comments anyone?