March 2011 After "Divorce"

Yonghwa's POV

Finally this show of virtual marriage met the end. I had a lot of fun with the crews for over one years. The feeling was like getting a new family. They were warm and friendly. Thanks to them to give me the chance to join this show thus CNBLUE was getting popular lately. We finally would release our Korean Full Album next month. More than that, I thought I've already found something called love.

Well, I've been in a relationship for several times back to my school time. But, it was jut a baby love, that was less than loving, it was just liking. Yeah, I've realized it when Seohyun asked me the differences between loving and liking. By the time I explained to her, I realized all I had have was only like, just my interest to my opposite gender. Well, I was just a boy back then.

It was already a week since our "divorce" on that virtual marriage. Well, we would never be in that fake marriage for forever. We had another schedule to do. So, I thought about brought that relationship to be the real one. Yeah, the real one. I told you, right, that I found love. Yeah, that's her—my love, Seo Joohyun.

"Seo Joohyun!" I called her half whispered.

She was sitting-reading a book in her powder room when I opened the door of that room. I made a little space between the door and the wall, so the rest of SNSD's members wouldn't see me. At first, she seemed not hearing my call so I called her again. When she turned her head with her clueless face, I couldn't handle my cheeks for not to explode. I love that expression the best.

"Waeyo?" she asked me with his soundless mouth. I gestured her to come out, but she just gave the sign that she couldn't. She gestured to me to go. What?

"Seohyun-ah!" Finally I managed to enter the room directly. Tiffany, Yoona, and Taeyon were there—looked at me with their questioning face. "Sister-in laws annyeong!" I greeted them.

"Yong~ Seobang!" they replied me enthusiastic. "Sit here, sit here," Yoona cheerfully tapped an empty seat between them.

"It's okay, I just—"

"I heard you'll act in another drama, won't you?" Taeyon asked me.

"And CNBLUE's new album is coming up, right?" Tiffany added.

My mind got blank. It was not supposed to be. I just wanted to talk with Seohyun, not to their eonnie. I glanced at her and found out she didn't even bother to look at me. Okay, she love reading books, but it didn't me my presence means nothing, right?

"Well, it seems like that," I answered their question awkwardly. "Seohyun-ah, do you have any time?" I couldn't stand it any long, so I asked her bluntly.

She tilted her head and put away his book. I smiled to her but she seemed not see me, her eyes was straight to her eonnies.

"Eonnie, where's Hyeoyeon eonnie?" she asked randomly to her eonnie, then stood up—managed herself to leave the room. I catched after her.

"Seohyun-ah," I called her in desperation. Finally, she looked at me a second, then she turned her head to look at the door.

"Yonghwa-ssi, sorry, I've to go."

♫Why are you suddenly trying to leave me?
Even when I ask, you only give me a cold glare.
Why do you suddenly hate me?
Even when I ask, you don’t answer.
Don’t go, don’t go. Can you hear me?
I love you.

I don’t know why I don’t know why, look at me when you talk
I don’t know why I don’t know why, why do you leave me if you love me♫

***

I was puzzled. Puzzled. Puzzled. I thought about it over and over again. But, still I didn't get the right answer. Everything was blur as blur as my chaotic mind. What I did wrong to her, I wondered all the time. Why did she do a such ridiculous things to me? We was fine when our last meeting in We Got Married's filming spot. Have you hated me already? Because I wasn't a cool person in your dream.

I recalled my one year memories with her. Those were my most precious time in my whole life. It was more precious than the time when I had a big surprise birthday party when I was ten, even with CNBLUE's debut date. One year with you was an irreplaceable time. You know why? Because I met you, spared my time with you, Seo Joohyun.

Yeah, I remembered our first meeting like it was just yesterday. How awkward we were back then. How I was still amaze with your personality. You had the personality that I never across before. Your question list, your innocent question. Meeting you was a really brand-new day for me.

In our first meeting I brought you to my practice studio in Hongdae. You know, because of meeting you we had another practice studio in Gangnam now although it wasn't big like your company have. Yeah, because I joined We Got Married, CNBLUE really  was doing good now. Ah, I remembered your shocking question in our practice room that time.

"Do you have first love?"

"Nope. What's first love?"

"You'rea asking me about it? You're... You're... You're  so awesome," I amazed with her question, "It's okay, not everybody has had their first love," and I tried to find out the right answer to tell her. "My first love is... It was when I was in grade school."

"Really?"

"Yeah. So I really don't know much about it either. She was my first girlfriend so she became my first love, you know?" Oh crap! What a clumsy explanation!

"What is the the difference between liking and loving someone?"

"What did you say? You want to know the difference?"

"Yes."

♫The stories about my first love that I told so easily,
My clumsy excuses that I gave with no reason
My childish jokes that I cracked with no thought
My annoyed complaints that I spat with no purpose♫

Even though those are precious times to me, I don't know why you just threw it away like it never happened. Don't you feel the same feeling?

***

Noone's POV

It was a cold evening when Yonghwa finally could make an appointment with Seohyun. They sat  in a park's bench next to each other—silently. Seohyun gathered her thought as he looked at the paving floor below her. She didn't know why she decided to meet him. Yonghwa, himself, wanted to gather his braveness to talk to her. He was still puzzled. He wanted to ask her directly, bluntly, but he didn't want to hurt her feeling. He didn't know why they were awkward again.

"Seohyun-ah, how are you these days? You're so busy, huh?" I asked her softly.

"Yes."

That answer again. She became her old self—Miss. Yes. We were not strangers anymore, why did she gave me that kind of answer. How should I respond if she just kept saying only "yes"? Yonghwa thought.

"Oppa, you'll act in another drama with Shinhye eonnie, right? Congratulation!" Finally, I could hear her long sentence again. Her voice, I missed it badly.

"Uhm, yeah," I answered her. "Seohyun-ah, I have something to tell you."

Silent. She didn't respond it. Yonghwa managed himself to tell her frankly. "Seohyun-ah, did you enjoy our time in We Got Married?"

"..." I enjoy it, Oppa. But I couldn't tell you that.

"Well, I have a lot of fun to be with you. You know, I have never experienced meeting someone like you. Y'know, you're charming."

Again, she didn't answer. Yonghwa let out a sigh—started to get frustrated. But, Yonghwa didn't know that the girl beside him was trembling. Her body was shaking due to shiver. Not from the cold weather, but from inside her heart.

"I love you, Seo Joohyun."

And that shiver accompanied with tears. Seohyun couldn't stand herself to not burst into cry. She felt pain—a very great pain. She didn't know when, but she felt a strange feeling towards her ex-virtual husband. The days she was with him her heart was fluttering the moment they couldn't reach each other she felt chaotic, and when the marriage ended she felt desperate. Is it love, she wondered it all the time.

But, all she could do was denying it. She couldn't—she couldn't accept her feeling. And the thing got worse she ignored him instead. She was too scared to face him. She was too scared to face the fact that she had changed. She wasn't innocent anymore. And finally she knew it was late when she knew Yonghwa would act with Park Shinhye. Aren't they compatible each other? She wondered in those lonely nights.

But, now, what he said? Love her? What is love? Is it sweet or bitter? If it is sweet why I'm crying? Why it's painful? Can you answer this... oppa...

♫Did you meet someone new?
Even when I ask, your tears keep pouring out
What did you do wrong to me? Even when I ask, you just cry with you head down.

"Seohyun-ah, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Yonghwa awkwardly tap her back to comfort her. He was shock to find out the girl beside him was crying.

"I have to go," still in her cry, she stood up and left.

♫

Don’t go, don’t go. Can you hear me?
I love you.

You don’t know why you don’t know why, you love me

I don’t know why I don’t know why, how can you leave me?♫

 

(English Trannslation "I Don't Know Why Korean Vers.", CNBLUE)

Author's Note: Yonghwa wrote the lyrics himself for this Korean vers. of "I Don't Know Why". Don't you think it's about them? I mean the verse about telling first love story, isn't it same with their first eps of WGM? Anyways, thank you for reading this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks to my readers and subscribers. *bow*