A lesson for all you pet cats out there.  When your owner’s roommate decides it would be a good idea to get a puppy like the one your owner owns, run away and never come back. Because your owner is not the brightest and when he tries to find a puppy unlike the one he owns, he’ll find one exactly like the one he owns.

I’m warning you all now because it was too late for me and I don’t want you to suffer what I am suffering right now, every day, every hour, every minute, every ing second of my ing life!

I have to live with that thing that could pass for Chanyeol’s littermate if he was of the same breed. No wait, he is of the same breed. UGH. He probably is Chanyeol’s littermate, or they came from the same mother.

They call him Luhan, I call him the ing bane of my ing miserable existence. Oh, and sorry about the swearing. I don’t usually swear. It’s just that Luhan just brings out the worst in me. Speaking of devil…

RUN!

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*FLASHBACK*

I was dozing off beside the couch and my owner, Yixing, was scratching behind my ears just the way I liked it. My definition of a wonderful day. I didn’t really pay attention to what they were saying, but it didn’t sound like it had anything to do with me so I wasn’t particularly obliged to listen.

“Then I’ll get a dog like Chanyeol. That way, he won’t be scared of Chanyeol.”

My eyes snapped open. What…did Jongdae just say? A dog like Chanyeol?! No…NO! It can’t…they can’t let him…he wouldn’t...

“We have to get him a puppy of our choice fast otherwise he really will go find a Chanyeol act-alike and bring it back.” I was snapped back to reality when I heard Yixing whispering.

Oh no…oh no no no no NO! Yixing’s an awful judge of character. He could take one look at a serial killer and immediately claim that he couldn’t hurt a fly.

“Anyone want ice-cream?” Suho rushed to the kitchen. Ooh~ I want ice cream~

No…wait…Sehun and Suho have both forgotten the puppy thing, now all that’s left is Yixing…

Yixing sighed. I looked up and meowed at him pitifully until he started scratching my ears again. I should really do something about the puppy, but what could I do? They don’t understand me, so how was I supposed to tell them that Yixing’s a nincompoopy, awful judge of character and that he shouldn’t be allowed to choose Jongdae’s pet puppy?

I look up at Yixing. He had his head buried in the cushions again. Chanyeol was sitting on his head again.

“Well,” I purred as Yixing scratched my ears, “I’m not thinking too well right now. I guess I’ll just take a short nap, and then worry about all this.”

*FLASHBACK END*

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Oh god, I shouldn’t have taken that short nap.

Because when Jongdae came back with his new puppy, Yixing having forgotten his plan to find a puppy before Jongdae did, the new puppy’s eyes scanned the room, settle on me, and decided I was a good cushion.

So it jumped on me. And me all over. And followed me everywhere. Even the litter box. The litter box. Can’t a cat have some privacy when he’s…*ahem*...doing his business?

It’s been three weeks since it first came to our apartment and I still haven’t found a way to get it to stop following me around everywhere.

Right now, the only method I have is to run around until it gets tired and falls asleep. It works, except then I get tired and fall asleep too. And then get woken up by Luhan my face. So technically, it doesn’t really work at all.

“Come play with meeeeeee~” Luhan barks excitedly.

No way in HELL!

I run. I hiss, and then run like hell. But see, Luhan’s dumber than he looks and thinks this is my version of tag. So he runs after me.

I would have liked to claw him across the face, but of all the things that Yixing is prone to forget, t my nails isn’t one of them. Pity. I could have used them.

I climb up a chair and out the open window. Good thing we live on the first floor. I manage to claw my way up a tree with what little stumps of claws I had grown from the last t. That should keep him away for a while…or maybe not. The idiot puppy is slowly clawing his way up the trunk. Even though he slips often, he doesn’t look like he’s gonna give up soon.

Darn.

Why can’t the thing take a hint and leave me alone?

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It’s night time. Luhan’s given up trying to climb the tree, but he hasn’t left. Which means I’m still stuck up here until he leaves, or falls asleep.

He’s surprisingly stubborn.

“Luhan! Minseok! Where are you?!” I hear Yixing and Jongdae yelling as they wander around.

I really have to wonder how they managed to graduate from high school without repeating any years. The tree that I’m in is right in front of the window I came out of.

Why they would think that I could open the locked door and run outside I don’t know. But shouldn’t they have seen the open window? Shouldn’t they have seen me in the tree outside the window? Apparently not.

“You idiots!” Suho yells out the window. Looks like he found us. “They’re right outside our window! Did you seriously think they could get out the door? It was locked, and they aren’t even big enough to reach the lock, let alone figure out how to unlock it.”

Well said, although I could unlock it, I just couldn’t reach it. Luhan, on the other hand, wouldn’t be able to do either.

“There you are,” Yixing coos as he picks me out of the tree. “We were so worried.” Yeah right. I saw you watching TV all day long. You only realized we were gone when you couldn’t find us at dinner.

Jongdae scoops Luhan up into his arms and chuckles. “Looks like Luhan chased Minseok all the way up there. He really likes him, don’t you think?”

Yixing grins. “They’d make a perfect couple, if only Luhan was a female cat.”

“Or if Minseok was a female dog.”

“They could still be the perfect couple, though. They match each other perfectly.” Yixing scratches my ears.

Perfect my . We would not make the perfect couple. We do not match each other perfectly. We hate each other!

Okay maybe not Luhan. He seems to like me a bit too much. But I hate him. The darn, clingy, idiotic, cute, cuddly, adorable…wait! Brain, where are you going with those thoughts?! Luhan is definitely not cute! Or cuddly. Or adorable. He’s awful. Awful as…well, just plain awful.

Yixing and Jongdae carry us back into their apartment. Sehun grabs Kyungsoo and places him somewhere high where Luhan and Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to reach. Then, as an afterthought, he puts Jongin up there with him in case Jongin would throw another fit if he wasn’t with Kyungsoo.

As soon as Yixing steps foot into the apartment, I jump out of his arms and climb onto the top of a bookshelf. Luhan jumps out of Jongdae’s arms too, and barks at me from the bottom of my makeshift tree.

Suho sits on the couch with Baekhyun and Kris, watching the scene as though it were a particularly interesting movie. If someone just gave them some popcorn, you’d swear they were in a cinema or something.

Tao, our newest addition before Luhan came, claws his way up onto the couch and snuggles into Kris’s side. And surprisingly, Kris doesn’t push him away. In fact, he wraps a paw protectively around the panda-like kitten and his ears like a mother cat would. Is something going on between them that we don’t know about? (By we, I mean me, Suho, Sehun, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo. None of the others would notice anything if it slapped them in their faces, nor do they care much about things like this. They’re pretty ignorant if you ask me.)

I look down the bookshelf and into Luhan’s pining puppy eyes as he tries to do aegyo to get me to come down. So not happening. That may be very effective on anyone else but I won’t fall for it. Ever. Okay, maybe if Tao does it. He’s very good at it. Too good.

Back to the point, this is the tree thing all over again. I’m stuck somewhere high until Luhan goes away, or is forcefully removed from the bottom of the shelf.

*Sigh*. I can’t escape him, whether inside or outside the apartment. What do I do~?

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A/N

hope you liked it~

this story is mostly xiuhan, though i might make extra chapters or sequels for the other pairings' stories

such as kaisoo, or baekyeol (chanyeol is so cute~), or taoris

oh, and should i make Yixing and Suho become a couple?

not sure...

anyway, don't be sad or worried if i don't update for, like, five months (rest assured, i will not die that easily)

i've got school and i hate school, and school means homework, which i hate even more

the four subjects i hate most are stuck in one semester for me, and i'm not used to the workload yet (first year of highschool, didn't get much homework in gr 8 so...)

ooh~i like this font