Help me, Love me. I need it!
Sometimes, Even A Single Person Is EnoughWhenever you see a point, a comma or three dots (...) you should pause. Read the fic SLOWLY and with emotion. It's important, especially for this chapter, for you to grasp the seriousness of Ren's emotions.
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Everyday it's the same thing. I should be used to it but...I'm not. It should be OK. But in reality it really isn't.... Please, just stop. Why are you being like this? Why do you hate me? What have I done? Everyday it's the same thing: I would walk down the hallway and you will push me, slow me down, forcing me to trip, to drop my books. You steal my things, you make fun of me, you call me names:
"Freak!"
""
"Go die somewhere"
"We don't need fags like you!"
"Everybody hates you!"
"You're worthless!"
"Why were you even born?!
Your voices are always taunting. You point at my face with your fingers... you hit me...kick me....Then the bell rings and you go to your classes while I'm still on the ground, blinking the tears away. My face...it does not show my emotions. It's a mask I force myself to wear...to pretend it's fine. It's not. I'm not fine. I'm not OK. I'm breaking inside.
But...It's fine. I get up and dust myself off. I know you hate me. I know you wish for me to die. You know that I know. But...there is one thing you don't know. And that thing is my darkest secret...I wish for the same thing as you.
Do you realize how it feels to be called such hurtful names, to not have any friends, to be hated for things I couldn't control. No. No, you don't. Because if you knew, you wouldn't do it. Or maybe you do know and you're just being cruel.
Today it was not any different but it's OK. I'm used to it. I don't care. My face...it does not show my emotions. I won't give you the satisfaction of seeing me hurt, seeing me breaking inside. I won't make you happy by showing you my pain.
Push me, tease me, do whatever you want...in the end it won't matter. 'Only two more months!' I think to myself. 'You need to stay strong only two more months. Then, when your parents leave you once again, you'll finally be able to end it all'
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A/N: I know it's short and you probably didn't understand anything but I wanted the first chapter to be Ren's POV in order to show you his inner pain. That way you'll know the way he thinks through the story. This won't be the only chapter through Ren's eyes, there will be others but only a few. Through these chapters I'll show you his thoughts and feeling. I'm going to show you how he struggles with his emotions, with his pain. I'm writing this fic not only for entertainment but as an attempt to make you realize how it feels. I've been through this. I know what it is to feel alone and I know the exact way it hurts. My peers didn't hit me but...OK I'm stopping now. This is getting depressing. Most of the chapters will be 3rd person view but from time to time I'll do Ren's POV.
~~~~I'm out~~~~~ (G-Dragon reference, LOL)
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