It's taken all my energy, sleep and time to dream of you, to think of you, to like you. Though I don't see you smile, or speak, your still on my mind. But at the end of the day it's not about you, or me, it's about that asylum we call school. School the place I dread, but also appreciate. It's where I first learnt of love, but feared of love. It all an unpredictable place, where the monsters we call teenagers are kept, and taught to be good, only to let them leave as  horrid as they came. When we will all learn?

As you can see all schools are filled with halls, and students in those halls. The students who creep around, loiter, gossip, and flaunt. I can never turn the corner without seeing the loving faces of couples. Something in me stirs and I can't help but feel the envy in me boil. Though I cannot say I have never loved, I want to learn again. Breaking is what I fear most. When I am alone and all I hear  is the soft trailing of music against the walls, something isn't right. I want something, I crave something, I need something. But that something is not a thing, it's a who. 

When lunch starts and everyone is crammed into the cafeteria, I eat the food, talk to my friends and slip out as quick as I can. Because deep in the school where no one stays, I dance. In the auditorium is where I'll always be. Where the stage is empty, the seats are abandoned and the silence is interrupted, I get to be who I really am. I get to be Kim Jogin, not Kai. I get to be the outspoken, dancer who likes the company of certain people. Not Kai the strong, popular and social kid. Here where I go, we all try to be something. But I am not anything. 

After dance I struggle to get to class, I'm always late. I tend to get lost in my own world, and fail to notice the urgency of this world. It also add onto the list of why I am liked but so many people. When the teacher begins to talk, I zone out. I notice the little things I miss to appreciate. Like the people in this class.Kyungsoo. The boy who just shows up. He doesn't make an entrance, that's what I hate. I hate when people aren't strong enough to support themselves. But somehow, he defeats this hate. Though I can't put my finger on it. 

Maybe it's the way his eye bulge out, maybe it's the way he bites his lip while he concentrates on the words written on the pages, but all I know is thatmaybe somehow,I  find an answer in him. Why can't he look at me? Why can't I look at him? Why don't we know each other yet? After continuing this way. I wonder how do I keep doing this? I can't find any words to say, any ways to get to you.

--

Kyungsoo continues his stare across the room, to a being who looks mysterious. His words aren't expressed, his facial expressions are illegible.  Somehow he never fails to put a smile on his face or a blush across his cheeks. All he knows is that he wishes it was him who knew him, laughed with him. Although Kyungsoo has never experience the infatuation of affection. He knows he wants to. 

------

This is all they had to say, nothing else.

Before one can speak the words just slip away. 

Jongin and Kyungsoo repeat to themselves, that words that they let go.

Too bad they will never be able to reach each other, the unspoken words.