My pen brushes against the paper. A trail of dots and half written words lay scattered across my page. Each time my hand hovers over the paper, I pull back. My mind is full of uncertainty. My throat is dry. A stinging sensation burns in the corners of my eyes as tears stain my cheeks. This isn't supposed to be so difficult.

I glance at my watch. I don't have much time left. I have to begin somewhere. But what am I to say? "I have to do this," "It'll be better this way," "I don't want to hurt you anymore,"? Nothing sounds right. I bite my lip to stop a sob escaping from inside me, so hard I can taste blood. The rusty, salty flavour scratches my throat as I swallow.

Noise suddenly echoes off the walls, and I jump, despite the fact that I am here alone. I see my phone vibrating wildly across the bench top, but I don't make a move to answer it. One, twice, and the ringing stops.

'Beep. You have one new voicemail message:

"Hey...It's Bang... just wanted to let you know I'll be home soon, and I bought ramen for us to eat! Um...yeah... and next time answer your phone, dammit! Ok, see you soon...Bye."

Beep. You have no new voicemail messages.'

I sigh, already missing the sound of his voice. I don't want to not hear it again...

No. I have to go. I've been hurting him for too long. This has to stop. My fingers tremble as I reach for my pen, discarded from the surprise of the voicemail. My eyes blur as I look back to my page, and I turn away. I have only two words to write, but I can't seem to look at them as I scribble messily.

I tear the piece of paper and toss away the remaining pieces stained with running ink, tears and the blood from my bleeding lip that managed to drip out of my mouth.

I then hear the noise I'd been waiting for.

Slam, the car door shuts.

Crunch, feet over gravel.

I grab my rucksack and sling it over my shoulder. This whole experience is like a game of chance, or the rolling of dice. How will he react? I don't know. Will I miss him? Well, that's undoubtedly a yes. Will he miss me?

I'm unsure...

Clink, clink. A key turning in the lock. This is it, this is my queue, now or never. I walk as slowly as my time limit allows me, take one last glimpse of this place, and exit through the back, just as I hear the front door being slammed open.

*******************************************************************************

Hiya! I think to myself as I kick open the front door with my boot covered feet, and I hear a loud slam as it connects with the wall. I tumble inside, my hands full of bags, books and boiling ramen. I sigh in relief as I drop everything to the floor.

"Junhong! I'm home Junhong!" I sing as I stretch and crack my back.

I am replied with my own echo, bouncing off the tiled walls and floors.

"Junnie? Junhong, where are you?" I question as I begin walking around the house. I snoop curiously, until I see the unexpected.

Blank. My mind goes absolutely, utterly blank as I see a small, nearly unnoticeable spot of red painting the floor, followed by crumpled pieces of paper also covered in small red droplets. My gaze switches from the floor to the bench top, and there I see a torn page.

"Junhong, ha ha, this isn't funny, what's going on?" My voice quavers slightly as I reach for the paper, and draw it up to my nose. Blood. I smell the rusty stench as I sniff the paper before cautiously prising back the folded page.

Only two words.

But those two words turn my blood cold.

"I'm Sorry"

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I am torn from my shocked state as I pull  it out to find a new voice message flashing on my screen. Reluctantly, I open it.

"Hey Gukkie...Where do I begin? I...I can't describe what I'm feeling right now. Anger, hurt, pain? I don't know. I just wanted to say that it's not about you, I left because of me.  Because I caused you pain. Because I'm too selfish and self absorbed to notice that my friend is hurting. I was too caught up in myself to notice that I'm not the only one who hurts, that you hurt too. I was too focused on studies, and work....and my new friends, to think about you. I'm a selfish little kid...I...'

Sobbing pours through the speakers, and I swear it was tearing my heart apart.

"I'm sorry Guk...I really am. I deserve everything you said, and you're right, I need to grow up. I need to care about others, I need to put my friends first. I'm sorry I let you down..You'll always be my best friend, whether you like it or not..Sorry..."

'Beep Beep Beep. End of message. Would you like to save, replay or discard your message?'

Silence.

Mmm, for an english exam. Had to write in 25 minutes, so it's a little confusing. Maybe later I'll turn this into a story, we'll find out where Zelo went, but that's only if you guys enjoyed it. It's confusing, I know, but I got 88% overall on my exam and 19/20 for this so I was happy. Anywho, let me know if you would like this to become a story with chapters, and be sure to check out my Banghim fanfic: I Want More Than Just the Benefits.

as always,

ily xx