lol I'm single, but I refuse all presents from my friends on valentines day because I'd feel like I was cheating on Black Day when I ate black noodles xD Nice story about one of my favorite holidays :)
Oh yeah, btw, it would be even better if you included the desciption for Black Day somewhere. (Maybe at the bottom of the chapter in an author's note or something.) I didn't remember what couples do on Black Day and it wasn't until I looked it up that I realized how cute the ending of the story was. Just saying... :)<br />
(I hope you don't mind me critiquing your story this much.)
Chapter 4:<br />
He tenderly crashed his lips into her soft pink glossy lips. (But. but.. but... You don't "tenderly" crash lips. You just can'ttttt! Gahhhhhh noooooO~ You need to fix that because it's really contradictory!)<br />
Ok, I feel SUPER, SUPER mean for saying this, but I don't think this was your best chapter at all.<br />
I mean, the interaction between Kevin and Amy in the other chapters was so sweet and natural! In this chapter, it was more awkward than perfectly molding together.<br />
I think that it was more awkward because Kevin stood up, pulled Amy to her feet in the middle of a restaurant and asked her if she liked him. I mean, it just... GAH. It didn't fit well.<br />
I think that you have so much better potential than this chapter and that you rushed the events of this chapter too quickly which might be why it turned out like this. True, in the beginning, they took their time sitting in the restaurant and all, but the confession was so sudden.<br />
Other than this, I think that you have a really good story, and I'm surprised that you didn't have more readers. You did have a few grammatical mistakes and proofreading mishaps, but overall, it was a cute story.<br />
I hope you continue writing and do even better next time!
Chapter 3:<br />
“You’re mean!” Amy let go and began to pout. Leaning against the lockers she slid down to the floor./“Stand up, it’s dirty down there.” Kevin stretched out his hand. Amy looked up at him and shook her head./“Come on~”/He tried to pull her up from the paper-littered floor./“Not until you sa-“/“I’m sorry, you’re beautiful, and you’re cuter than a koala.”<br />
(I really loved this interaction. It seemed so natural!! I can't even begin to explain how this is pretty much the story of my life. XD I really loved the last line too: Kevin knew exactly what to say to her to make her feel better.)<br />
“What? You’re going on a date! You should know better. Kevin, you’re special. She wouldn’t even wear a skirt for Eli, much less heels.” (Oh, ummas know exactly how to embarrass us.)<br />
“Annyeonghakiseyo Mrs. Song!” (So polite!)<br />
“But you love me!!!” she shouted as she began to dance around in the rain.” (Haha~! This is so me.)<br />
“come here, you’re going to get sick.”/Kevin opened the umbrella and pulled her under it, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. (Kyahh! So caring~)
Chapter 2:<br />
Ahh! They're so cute, hugging each other and whatnot. ^^<br />
“Oppa~ can I ask you for a favor?”/“You need lunch money again?” (I love how Kevin knows right away what she needs.)<br />
“Shh! It’s ok tummy~ I won’t neglect you anymore.” (Puahahahaha!)<br />
Everyday oppa, everyday. (Lolol! I could imagine Kevin make that mistake often. Haha.)<br />
She’s prego! (Gahhh. That word annoys me so much. Aish.)<br />
“I’m pretty sure you’re name’s Kevin…” (Oh Amy... X] )<br />
“Oh~ …turtle babies.” (Huh. My friends and I usually say "awkward turtle".)<br />
Amy turned to her right and found her friend of several years sitting beside her./“Liz! When’d you get here? You’re in this lunch?” (I wish that Amy hadn't asked the second question. If they are such good friends, wouldn't Amy have known when Liz's lunch period was?)<br />
Wow - tightly knit group of friends.<br />
“Then we need to come up with a plan!” (I'm looking forward to this!)
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