It's past eleven, but all five brothers are wide awake and gathered around a table in their apartment. Kris notices distractedly that the orange juice carton is where Luhan had left it that morning.

"What is this about, Kris?" Tao asks, fixing him with a stern stare, despite being the youngest. His arms are firmly crossed, fists clenched. The other three are looking at Kris with expressions ranging from confusion, worry and an unusual sobriety.

Even Jongdae's usual smile has gone into hiding. "You bailed out on us today," Jongdae says. "Manager hyung almost lost it. Do you know how long it took for him to be able to negotiate us into that show's guest slot?"

"Then he had to explain that you weren't going to be there, without giving a legitimate reason. Even we couldn't tell him why," Yixing adds quietly. He exhales heavily. "God knows you're our most popular member."

"And our leader, too," Minseok murmurs. "Jesus, Kris, you could have at least told us why you were going to bunk. Actually, you still haven't told us." He leans forward, fingers interlaced. "Where did you go?"

Kris accepts all of this with a nod and a deep breath, acknowledging that they're right; he does owe them an explanation, and a few minutes ago, he'd been prepared to give it to them. Now, uncertainty swishes around in him.

But then he remembers the way Luhan had looked at him hours ago, as he'd driven away from the hotel; the mental image strengthens his resolve.

He nods once more, though it's more to reassure himself than anything else. "Look," Kris begins, "I know I haven't been fair on you all by disappearing. But you know I wouldn't do anything like that without a reason, and I have one. A very good reason."

Tao arches a brow. "Which is?"

This is it. "Last night," Kris says, "when you were at the club, I got home and  found someone already in our apartment."

Minseok's eyes widen. "What? Was it a robber? A sasaeng fan?"

"Is that what you were doing all day? Filing charges?" Jongdae throws in.

"No, no, no." Kris shakes his head and hands at them. "It's nothing like that. The person wasn't there to steal anything. He was there for me."

"For you?" Yixing's eyes narrow. "What do you mean?"

Kris closes his eyes briefly, steadying the invisible scales that have been unbalanced within him. When he opens them again, he sees his brothers staring at him. "The boy in the apartment last night," Kris murmurs, "was my son."

Kris doesn't know what he had expected− an uproar, maybe. Maybe he'd unconsciously pictured Tao flipping the table over and Jongdae yelling that their image was ruined, while Minseok pulled his phone out and discussed quietly with Yixing about whether or not to call their manager.

But none of those things happen. Instead, he's met with silence.

Complete, empty silence.

"Please," Kris addresses the table, unable to look his brothers in the eye, "say something. If you're mad, I'll understand, because I probably would be, too−"

"Kris."

He looks up, into Minseok's serious eyes. Kris can't tell what Minseok is feeling right now, and it scares him, because he's always been able to tell how his brothers feel, just by looking them in the eye.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Minseok whispers.

"We could have helped you," Yixing adds.

Kris shakes his head. "No," he says. "I didn't even know that he existed until yesterday, and it's still kind of hard to believe. I can't even help myself."

There's silence for a few moments, then Jongdae breaks it with, "What's his name?"

"Luhan." Kris says the name quietly, as if saying it too loud will attract negative energy.

"Do you know his mother or...?" Tao leaves the sentence hanging in mid-air, but Kris understands. He nods in response.

"I met her while we were on that summer vacation before we debuted," Kris explains. "By the beach, remember? Her name was Yoona. She was a waitress. I don't think any of you ever met her, but I spent practically the whole vacation with her. I guess she was pregnant by the time we had to leave. But I never knew."

"That's why we hardly ever saw you on that vacation." Despite it all, Jongdae manages a half-smirk. "She must have been something."

Yixing frowns. "But you said 'was'. Her name was Yoona. She was a waitress. Where is she now?"

Kris swallows. "She's dead."

Another silence envelopes the room, but this time, it's tinged with things that can't ever fully be accurately expressed. Death shows its aftermath first in silence, Kris thinks.

"I'm sorry," Minseok whispers. "We're sorry."

Kris just nods; there's nothing to say.

"Is that why he came?" Tao asks, in a noticeably softer voice. "Because you're his only other guardian?"

Kris shakes his head; as he does so, Luhan's words come back to him. I thought it wouldn't matter that you hadn't been there for most of my life, but it does matter. You can't make up for so many lost years when you don't even try. "He wanted me to visit his mother's grave, because it's his sixteenth birthday." He snorts humourlessly. "You know, like to say, It's the sixteenth year you haven't been there for her and me."

"Oh, God," Yixing breathes, a little horrified at the way Kris describes it. "I'm sure he didn't mean it that way, Kris. He probably just felt a little... indignant about everything."

"Yixing, his mother just died, and to him, I'm partly to blame, because I was never there," Kris says. "I think he's a little more than indignant."

"Who wouldn't be," Tao murmurs.

"So, you went, then?" Jongdae presses. "You went to see her?"

The way Jongdae words it−as if Yoona is still alive and he can just go and see her− tugs on Kris' heartstrings; they're exhausted. Kris nods. "I drove down there today, to that same beach town. With Luhan."

"How was it?" Kris doesn't know who asks, because his eyes have slipped shut again, but it sounds like Minseok.

"It was..." Kris pauses, considering telling them a lie and saying that it wasn't so bad. But in the end, he decides that the truth will have to come out if he's going to go through with his plan. "It was horrible," he finishes. "Painful."

"Must have been." Yixing nods. "What did he say?"

"He just... he just told me what it was like, growing up without a father. Without me, specifically, actually. I thought he'd just talk about not having a dad, but he mentioned how he imagined a future with me." Kris inhales deeply and attempts to release it slowly, but the breath dies in his throat a little. "Then he said that he was wrong. That there'll never be a future for him with me. I think that's what made everything that much more painful. Because up until now, he's been right about it all." The last part comes out as a whisper, absorbing silence.

For a moment or two, all that can be heard is Jongdae muttering, "Jesus, that's intense," under his breath.

Kris knows that the rest of them are thinking about a time when they'd all had to come to terms with the problems that stemmed from their parents' lives and overlapped with theirs; that had been a painful time, though probably nowhere close to Luhan's current situation.

"Jesus, that's intense" doesn't begin to cover it.

Silence breaks completely when Tao leans forward and asks, "Where is he now?"

Kris sighs, running a hand down his face. "I left him at a hotel, because I wasn't planning on telling you about him. But I changed my mind on the way back; he should still be there."

Yixing looks appalled. "And you're just going to leave Luhan there? You're just going to... to..."

For once, Yixing is completely speechless.

"Well," Kris says, his voice low, "that's what I came here to talk to you all about. I'm not going to leave him there. I... I made a decision." He doesn't add that a letter from the only woman he ever loved helped him to make this decision. "I'm going to raise Luhan until he's an adult," he announces. "God knows I've screwed up, but I'm going to try my hardest to make it up to him. And that means−"

"You'll be leaving," Minseok finishes. "You came to tell us that you're leaving the group, didn't you? Leaving the company, the industry, the world of media."

Kris nods, though it seems to take a lot of effort just to do that. "I know it's selfish of me, because you might still want to continue with this whole thing and it'll be hard to recover since the fans won't take it well, but−"

To his surprise, Tao is shaking his head. "You don't have to explain, Kris. We know. We get it. It's been 16 years and we've known for a while that we're bound for retirement from all this any time soon now."

"You know," Jongdae adds, smiling, "we should be thanking you. For your 'accident'. We can do something else with our lives now."

Yixing rolls his eyes, but he's laughing. "Trust you to say that, Jongdae."

Kris looks between the four of them in shock, not quite taking in what he's hearing. "Wait, what? You mean none of you hate me for this? You're... accepting this?"

Uncertainty flits across their faces for a moment (and Kris knows how it feels, because decisions are hard to make, even when it's regarding a change for the better; what you're used to always seems easier), but then they all nod.

"We'll have to discuss contracts and stuff with the boss and our manager, but they should let us go," Minseok says. "We've done our time. All we need to get out of the way is a press conference. I suppose that can't be avoided."

Kris lets his eyes sweep over them, lingering on their faces. What was, only moments ago, doubt and confusion, is now full support and encouragement. It's hope, faith and family.

Yoona's voice rings in his mind, even though he's never even heard her say the words she's saying in his mind. That's what being family means. You do things that you don't want to do, but it doesn't matter, because it's for the people you love.

Maybe 'love' had once meant Yoona, and maybe it still does, but now, Kris realises that he can move things around to free up space in his life and heart for the right things. Other things. The things that he loves. The people he loves.

Finally.

***

The next day, Kris and the other five get into a van and drive up to the hotel to check on Luhan. The others had insisted on coming, and though Kris had been a little unsure at first about how he was supposed to ease the change into Luhan's life, he is convinced now that he'll be able to make it work.

But when they get to the hotel, the lady at the concierge tells Kris and his brothers that the occupant of room 217 (which had been Luhan) checked out a few hours earlier.

"You're Kris, right?" the woman asks, remaining calm despite Kris' obvious growing panic. "EXO-M's Kris?"

Kris nods (a little frantically), and she slides a small slip of paper towards him. At first he thinks she's asking for an autograph, but then she says, "He left a note; the boy from 217. It's for you."

She turns away to allow Kris to read it in privacy. The paper trembles a little between his clammy fingers.

To Kris, it says (slightly messy handwriting, the 'r' and 's' a little too sharp; just like Kris' own handwriting).

I don't really know if I should call you that (I don't know, 'Dad' sounds a little too weird), but it shouldn't matter, because I probably won't need to worry about addressing you again, will I?

I decided to leave and stay with my friend, back at the coast. I need to go back to school; I've missed enough days.

Anyway, here's my number. Just in case. Only use it if there's a serious emergency. Like, if you're dying or something.

Have a nice life. I mean that in a sincere way. You know, not being bitter or anything. It was hard at first, but now I'm trying not to judge you too much, because life for everyone and you're probably feeling the proof of that right now.

So, yeah. Have a nice life.

-Luhan