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***

The first thing that Sungyeol realized was how cold it was that dawn. He pulled the blanket higher, hoped it’d calm the shiver that run on his body. It’s still dark outside, he could see that through the curtain on his window. But he has awaken that it was hard to go back to sleep.

He curled his body, cluctched the blanket tightly. He felt like a mess, no, correction, he ‘was’ a mess. He couldn’t put himself together like he was used to be. It felt like he was too broken to be fixed.

His head was pounding hard that he wanted to smashed it to the wall to stop the pain. His breath was ragged, with the anger and sadness. He cursed that person’s existence, who has destroyed him completely into the mess like he was now.

Slowly, he left his bed. Without a sound, he made his way outside the house. glad that he didn’t wake his brother up.

Despite the coldness that enveloped his body, he didn’t hesitate to walk toward the beach. The waves were moving in slow rhyme. He dropped his bottom on the sand, looked forward at the boundless dark water. The moonbeam that iluminated, just gave a faint light for Sungyeol to enjoy the sea.

He closed his eyes, enjoyed the cold breeze that caressed his face. Pulled up his knees, he put his chin atop of them. The quietness that surrounded him put him in ease. The sound of the waves was like a lullaby.

He was alone. Surrounding by the darkness, he was suffocated.

Sungyeol knew he was dreaming. He remembered the last time he was on the beach. There’s no way that he moved into this empty place. So that meant that he was dreaming.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, i’m okay,” Sungyeol chanted, “It’s just a dream. I just need to wake up.”

He tried to lift his hand to pinch his cheeks, but he felt nothing. He looked at his hand, or could he say the thing that was previously his hand. Gradually, his hands were fading. It’s was started by the fingers, then moved up into his arms. It’s going transparent then just fade away into the air.

Sungyeol couldn’t utter a word as he observed all of his body parts were fading away. He closed his eyes, tried to block the horrible image before his eyes.

He needed to wake up now. He had to.

He didn’t realized the scream was coming out his own mouth. Nor the fact that he was shaking uncontrollably.

He couldn’t move his body, it went rigid because of the shock and fear that run through his veins.

A pair of arms were pulled him into a warm embrace. He didn’t recognized who it was with the way his mind still in the jumble of a mess. Shakily, he tried to lift his hand. Once he successed did that, he clutched the person’s shirt tightly.

He was sobbing hard with the tears run down his face furiously. A hand was rubbing a soothing circle on his back, calmed him down.

“Ssh, it’s okay, it’s okay,” a gentle voice said to him.

It needed few minutes to calm him down. Sungyeol was really glad that he stopped shaking. His breath came in ragged pants.

He pulled away slightly, still pressed his eyes closed tightly.

He flinched when a hand touch his cheek, “Hey, you okay?”

Sungyeol opened his eyes, blinked several times to adjust the light, and found the familiar face in front of him. It was the hamster guy from the cafe that he visited earlier.

“It’s you,” sungyeol stated in shock.

The guy smiled softly, “Yeah. Seems that you still recognize me.”

“Are you okay?” the guy asked him worriedly.

Sungyeol, has just realized that he was still clutching the guy’s shirt, released it quickly, nodded frantically, “Yeah,” his voice cracked because of the pain on his throat.

“Here, drink this,” a glass of water was handed to him. He looked upward and found Woohyun looked at him back.

Sungyeol hesitanted took the glass. He put the glass on his mouth, tilted it slightly and took a sip of the clear water. He let out a delighted moan when the cold liquid soothed his aching throat. He finished the water in seconds.

“Thanks,” he managed to say weakly.

“Do you feel better?” asked the hamster guy which Sungyeol answered with a nod.

“Glad to hear that,” the guy smiled widely, made his eyes squinted cutely, “Oh, almost forget, my name is Kim Sunggyu anyway,” the hamster guy – Sunggyu – continued.

“And I’m Woohyun, Nam Woohyun,” Woohyun said with a smile plastered on his face.

“I know,” Sungyeol said, “I heard Sunggyu – ssi, called you yesterday. My name is Lee Sungyeol.”

“Please don’t be too formal, Sungyeol, just call us Hyung. Seems that you are younger than us anyway,” Sunggyu said with a soft smile.

 Sungyeol looked around the room they were in, “Where am i?”

“You are in our house, Sungyeol. This dawn when I was running on the beach, I found you unconscious in the sand. You got a really high fever, and because it was too early, there’s no other people beside me, and I didn’t know your house either, so i brought you here,” woohyun explained.

Sungyeol looked downward in embarrasement.

“It’s surprised me, you know, when Woohyun woke me up, shouting around with you unsconscious in his arms, I thought he killed you or something,” Sunggyu said jokingly.

“I’m sorry, for being a bother to both of you,” Sungyeol said in low voice, bowed his head slightly.

“Nah, it’s okay,” Sunggyu said, he placed his hand on Sungyeol’s forehead, “I was checking your temperature when you started trashing around and screaming in your sleep. Did you get a nightmare?”

Sungyeol’s face fell, it wasn’t missed by the older two, who exchanged a glance to each other.

“Well, it’s just a nightmare, right? No need to talk about it further,” Woohyun said.

Sungyeol smiled in relief, glad that the topic was dropped. Suddenly he remember about Sungjong, without a thought he stood up abruptly, “I need to go.”

He stumbled because of the dizziness, but Woohyun caught him before he fell to the floor, “Take it easy, Sungyeol.”

“You need take a rest, Sungyeol,” Sunggyu said, “You can stay here longer.”

Sungyeol shook his head quickly, “No, I can’t. My brother must be worry about me.”

“Well, then we’ll take you home,” Woohyun said. He turned to Sunggyu that nodded in understanding.

Sunggyu left and came back a while later, brought some jackets in his hand.

“Put it on, Sungyeol,” Sunggyu asked, “I can’t believe that you just wear a thin shirt. It’s freezing outside.”

Both Sunggyu and Woohyun helped Sungyeol put the jacket and shawl on.

“Where do you live?” Sunggyu asked. Sungyeol told him his address.

“I know it, it isn’t far from here,” Woohyun exclaimed.

Once Sunggyu locked the door, both of them, in either sides of Sungyeol, guided the younger toward his house. They walked slowly and both of them kept an eye at the younger, that swayed slightly.

It didn’t take long to arrive in Sungyeol’s house. Woohyun knocked the door while Sunggyu got a hold of Sungyeol.

They waited for minutes, but no one opened the door. Sungyeol started to be worry, wondered where the younger went.

Woohyun knocked harder, but still, no answer.

“Do you know where the place your brother possibly go?” Sunggyu asked Sungyeol.

Sungyeol shook his head frantically, “He was still sleeping when I left.”

“Hyung!” a familiar voice called made the other three turned toward the source.

 Sungjong was running toward them. His eyes are red and puffy, his hair was a mess.

“Hyung,” Sungjong sighed in relief when he arrived before Sungyeol. The later smiled apologetically, noticed the tears run down his brother’s face. He felt the guilt crept on his heart for making his brother cried once more.

Three of them were shocked when Sungjong slapped Sungyeol hard in the face.

“Hey!” Sunggyu caught Sungyeol that stumbled because of the impact, while Woohyun tried to hold the fuming teenager.

“Yah!” Woohyun snapped at Sungjong, “What’re you doing, huh?!”

“Let me go!” Sungjong struggled against Woohyun, “I don’t know you. Let me go! Yah!”

“I won’t let you go before you calm down,” Woohyun said, tightened his hold on Sungjong.

Sungyeol took a step forward and pulled at Woohyun’s jacket, “Please let him go, Woohyun – hyung.”

Woohyun looked at Sungyeol’s pleading face, then sighed and reluctantly released his hold on Sungjong.

The youngest was still furious, he was crying because of the anger. So they were really surprised when he pulled Sungyeol into a tight embrace, “What have I said about leaving me without saying anything like that, hyung? You don’t know how worry I am.”

Sungyeol wrapped his arms around the younger, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Sungjong cried harder, “I’m tired, hyung. Thinking that you might get hurt like... every ing second.”

Sungyeol couldn’t hold his own tears, “I’m really sorry, Sungjong – ah. Please forgive me.”

“Why did you keep doing this to me, hyung? It hurts me so much just to think that something bad happen to you. Do you really hate me that much that you always make me cry?! Tell me hyung!”

“Please, don’t say that, Jongie,” Sungyeol sobbed, “I would never hate you, you are my only dongsaeng, I love you so much.”

“Then stop it, hyung. Stop hurting yourself, stop pushing people that love you away,” Sungjong has stopped his cry, “I miss my old hyung. That make a lot of people happy. Not hurting them.”

Sungyeol couldn’t answer it, not when what Sungjong said was true.

“Hey,” Sunggyu called Sungjong, made the later looked at him curiously, “Your brother is sick, you better take him rest.”

Sungjong nodded, “Thank you, and I’m sorry for my behaviour earlier.”

“It’s okay,” Sunggyu said.

“Thanks for bringing my brother back,” Sungjong said. Gently he pulled sungyeol into the house, “Thank you,” he said the last time before closing the door.

Woohyun sighed, “What’s just happened?”

“I don’t know,” Sunggyu said, “But just let them arranged the matter by theirself.”

“I hate to see him cry,” Woohyun said.

“Me too, but for now, let him calm down first and we can talk to him again later,” Sunggyu suggested.

“I love this mature side of you, Gyu,” Woohyun said then leaned forward an planted a chaste kiss on Sunggyu’s lips.

“I love you, too,” Sunggyu smiled back to Woohyun, then grab his hand and entwined their fingers. As they were getting further from the house, both of them sent the last glance toward it, hoped to be able to visit the owner soon.