Dara's P.O.V

I snapped at him again today. I really didn't mean to but all the stress with pleasing his family and mine, watching out for my reputation and as well as having to hide the fact that I know he's cheating on me, they all got to me. I want to prove I'm better than that woman but it's not going too well. I know I'm pushing him further away from me, the more I argue about little things. I can't lose him now, not ever. I wonder where he is?

This is so funny, it's like something out of some dramatic movie. The scene where the real girlfriend sits in the dim lit room while waiting for the guy to arrive. It would usually go like, "Do you know what time it is? Where have you been? You smell of a woman's perfume, don't even dare to lie to me." But I would never do such things.I just don't see myself interogating him like that. I know I tell him off for little things but, never for these things.

I want to win my boyfriend back and I won't stop without a fight.I would hold it in for a while and pretend not to know everything. I can win him back for sure.The question in my mind right now is if he still loves me or has his feelings changed? God, I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want to get hurt, I want the pain to stop but I don't want to let him go.

Call me naive or whatver but I'm willing to take him back and forgive him no matter what he does. That's how much I love him. This may sound low, but I am willing to beg on my knees when the day comes that he wants to leave. I wouldn't know what to do. I love him too much. All my future plans has him in it. Someone with dignity and is admired by thousands, if not even millions of people around the country, someone they look up to, I can't believe someone like me is going through this. I can't believe I am willing to go through it to keep him, when everyone knows that all the eligible bachelors in the country would be willing to line up  for me the moment Jiyong and I break up.

That is true, I can easily take the easy way out but I don't want to. I am so worried  at this moment. He's probably with her right this second. Who knows what they could be doing. The moment we finished arguing he just stormed off and hasn't called since. He's supposed to sleep here tonight he usually does. Right now, I'd just like to pretend he got caught back in the office even though I know the things he could be doing could be much worse than office work.

Back then I used to get jealous of his job because he spends too much time on it. Little did I know, he was only using  his job to hide the fact that he was having an affair. I don't know why he would do it. It's so not like him. We had something great, something everyone envied. I know I can be uptight and controlling but that reason is not enough for him to lie for this long.

"Oh, Jiyong what are you doing right now? I hope I'm the one in your mind. I love you so much." I softly mumbled to myself. Maybe I have gone insane, almost too insane but then again all the greatest people are crazy. I just want him to come home. I've been sitting here waiting for him for  hours now. I can't even remember how long it's been myself. I cooked him dinner but I guess he won't be coming home to eat with me.

I took a quick glance at my hand phone to check what time it was, last time I checked it was 11:30 pm. Right now it says it's 11:31, another minute went by. How long have I been sitting here watching every minute fly. I suddenly felt tears running down my cheeks, I can't believe I was crying. I didn't want to cry but here I am doing it. I guess even my own body pitied me. Suddenly through the solemn darkness and stillness of the night, I found myself crying. No, not just crying but sobbing out loud. I was just sitting here crying alone, crying loudly to nothing and to no one.

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I have no idea but I just kept on crying and crying. From what I can I guess, I've been crying for 30 minutes now. He's still not here, and that the fact that he's not,broke me down even more. But then again it's better that he doesn't see me like this. I don't want him to, ever. I just looked around the room feeling the loneliness of it, with no one but myself. It made me feel so small, like a mouse stuck in a giant box. Yes that is exactly how I felt,boxed in with my life. Trapped in this life I was destined to live. People I was destined to encounter and love.

Suddenly I felt someone hugging me from behind. It startled me a little but I didn't bother to look back or say anything. Instead I sobbed even  louder than before. I couldn't help it. From here I knew who it was, his scent, a mixture of his natural manly scent and  that cologned he always used. It was a scent that stuck to me, something I could recognize from a meter away. But something was different with that scent, it seemed like it's not just his, but there's also a woman's perfume. I can recognize someone else's smell but I chose to ignore myself.

Jiyong didn't say anything at all. He just kept quiet as he hugged me tightly. He cradled me in his arms and like a child, I nestled in it. It was the most comfortable place in the world if you ask me. I felt safe and warm in it. It's just sad that I know that he cradled someone else in his arms like this. It was supposed to be my special place. Just mine, he was suppose to be all mine.

I looked up at him not caring about how swolen and puffy my eyes must look, at this moment. I looked into his eyes, those eyes that were

filled with worries and guilt and a trace of sadness. I noticed that  sadness in his eyes months ago. It only began about 5 or 7 months ago. He started to act strange and he always had that sadness in his eyes, even if he was laughing with me.

I looked deep into his eye trying to figure him out. Trying to read his expression which was very impossible. Out of frustration and guilt I began to cry again, this time louder than I did earlier.I don't know why I felt guilty but my heart just felt sorry for him. There must've been a reason he's doing all this. I must've done something wrong.

"Baby, I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry that I've caused you pain. I'm sorry if I say things out of anger and I'm really sorry for being so controlling. I'm really really sorry. I'm sorry.. I-i..I'm the worst. I'm the worst girlfriend.. I'm sorry. " I heaved out in the midst of tears. I pulled him closer.Hugging him as tight as I could.

"Shh, It's okay. You don't need to be sorry. It's my fault too. I shouldn't have left like that, I should've stayed and talked things through." He said with his calm and soothing voice, he spoke to me as if he was talking to a child, like I was someone he needed to protect. He then drew me closer to his chest and caressed my hair.He looked at me with guilt in his eyes.

"I-i thought you weren't coming back. I was scared that you left me for good. I was scared that you hated me and that you wanted to break up. I wouldn't be able to take that. I love you so much and I know I've done many things to push you away but.. I don't want any of this to happen. Please don't leave me. It would kill me I-.. I love you so much and.. and.." Tears came flowing down my cheeks. I felt drained. I couldn't control them. At this rate I should be yelling at him but I felt so weak knowing that I couldn't do any of those to him. It would just push him further away from me and draw him closer to that .For all I know, I just wanted him in my arms. Just mine.

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For a while I lingered in his arms. I missed him so much. I miss this. These past few months all we've been doing is arguing and fighting. Sometimes we all get so caught up in our daily lives and dramas that we forget to tell the people we love how much we love them and how much they mean to us. I hate the fact that I turned into one of those people. Seeing my Mother suffer through the same thing when I was young, having my Father so busy with his work and running the company, I swore to myself that I would never take my loved ones for granted. But I did and I hate myself for that. My eyes flickered around the whole room. Earlier it felt so big but now with his presence it felt so small. Like Jiyong was here to protect me from anyone or anything. I wish everything could just vanish. I just want to forget it all and start anew. I want to smile happily in his arms again.

All there problems and drama. I wish in one blink they would all just dissappear and everything would be great again. How I wish we could just go back to what we had. I miss that so bad. I looked at his face,peacefully sleeping on this couch with his arms so tight around me like a child. Jiyong looked angelic, almost perfect. I loved staring at his face,getting lost in my thoughts whenever I do.

Just as I was admiring him, something caught my attention. Something that brought all my anger back and right then and there, I wanted to hurt Jiyong so bad. I wanted to scream at him. I was helpless that it brought me to tears. I didn't want to make any sound. So I covered my mouth and cried silently. I cried almost choking in my tears. I covered my mouth with my own two hands as I felt my shoulders shaking and my whole body getting weak.

That stain, the red stain. So bright even in the dark. I'm positive it's not from me. I'm not wearing any lipstick at the moment and from what I can tell, that faded stain was from earlier today. So I was right.He was with her? Even though I knew that, why am I acting this way? I could feel the muscles on my face tensing. The tears slowly stopped and now all I can feel was hatred.Not for Jiyong, but for her. I winced as I gripped onto my chest, I slowly let my arms fall and with it I wiped the tears off of my face. She did pretty well tonight. She must be overjoyed. Did she enjoy my boyfriend too?  I'm pretty sure that did this on purpose. She knew that he would be coming home to me. She knew it well. She purposely did this. I know what she was planning to do.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I quickly grabbed it and checked who it was. From what it says, it's a blocked number. I hesitated for a while but I chose to answer. Something was telling me that I had to pick up. "Yoboseyo?? W-who..??" I asked not being able to finish my own sentence. I'm not in the right state of mind the moment.

"Hmm.. So did he come home??" The voice on the other line said with a mocking tone. That voice was familiar that I would recognize even the way she breaths. I was so mad that if I could reach into the phone I would've killed this .

"For all you know he did. And how may I help you at this time?? Do you really not a have a life, Agasshi? Please get back to whatever filthy things you need to be doing. I clearly don't have time for this."

I heard a soft chuckle on the other line. She let out a big sigh and cleared . "Yah, did you see it? I called to check if you saw it. You must've right? Isn't it beautiful and just incase you were wondering, it's Chanel's Le Rouge. You should try it out, Jiyong loves that colour, especially all over his body. Sleep well and you're welcome." She said sounding happier than ever. I can just imagine some stupid smile painted across her face.That face I would love ruin if given the chance to. But then again it doesn't need to be ruined any further.

I felt so impatient, she just babbled on and on about her bull. I found myself laughing in amusement. This girl is unbelievable, the nerve.I was about to fire something at her when the line was cut and I was left here feeling defeated. God damn it, I hate this . I used to love that shade of lipstick now I don't think I will ever touch it.

As much as I wanted to act as if I didn't see it. I want to forget but I can't. I know I have to fight for what's mine. I have to fight till she's gone. This is only the start, one of us has to go and it's not me. I can't just keep on acting like it's nothing,sooner or later something will come up and I'm damn sure when that happens, I won't let go of him. He's mine and I will fight for what's mine.

"Lee Chaerin, you just watch, watch me turn your whole world upside down. Get ready to step into hell. You'll suffer for sure." I silently cursed as I put my hand over that stain. I let the last tear drop fall. There's going to be a lot more tears and pain, but it's all worth it, if it means Jiyong will stay with me then I'm willing to take all of it. 
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(A/N)

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