Shrek and Pantaloons

Just For Once?

I can hear birds chirping, the wind blowing through the tree tops, and I see a grand palace over looking the trees. I curse Dara under my breath and trudge toward the castle. I hadn’t intended for that thought I had voiced aloud to count as a wish.

    As I walk through the forest, I can’t help but notice how quiet it is. No cars, no skyscrapers, and no boy drama.

“I wonder what I am going to do once I get to civilization.” I ask myself. The heat is almost overwhelming and the air seems still, with only an occasional breeze. Soon enough, I stumble upon the castle gates. I see the royal party coming towards the gate, I tried to get their attention by jumping up and down and waving my arms like an idiot.

“Hey! Can you help me? I am lost and I come from very far away!” I yell at the carriage. The horses slow down and the coachman hops down to open the door. A tall, broad shouldered, and gorgeous boy steps down. He is dressed up like Charming from Shrek. I have to hide my giggle as I look at his pantaloons and puffy shoulder pads. He comes up to me with a quizzical expression on his face. I look down at my outfit. My shorts and hoodie are obviously out of place here.

“Fair maiden, why are you at my castle’s gate?” the gorgeous boy asks. I feel myself blush, an instant reflex to cute boys, and I curtsy.

“I got lost, and I have no idea where I am, or who anyone is” I said, trying to sound not nervous. A slow smile crossed his perfect lips, and two dimples formed on his already perfect face. His smile then fades, only to be replaced with a cold and distant expression.

“I am prince Siwon, and you would  be…?” he asks in a tone that says he’s bored.

“My name is Bom, your highness.” I say and start to back away. It would be best if I just left now. Siwon follows me and grabs my arm. I try to wiggle out of his grip, but this kid is super strong.

“I shall get you a change of clothes and you shall dine with me.” He leads me through the castle and up a winding staircase. He shows me to my room, and has two husky washwomen bring me some clothes and shoes.

After trying on several things, I settle with a blue dress that has gold trim, and a white pair of boots. This was the only dress that fit, but the bust was too small, so it acts like a push up bra. On my way down to lunch, I kept trying to deflate my ever so prominent chest. Too late. Siwon is standing at the entrance to the dining room. His eyes stay on my face, only if I look away, can I feel them staring at my chest.

“Thank for the clothes, but I really should get going, I need to find a place to rest.” Siwon shakes his head, then takes my arm, and leads me into a dining room. Apparently he is a man that is all action and no talk. We eat a fine meal and I am glad that this dress is loose around my stomach. He smiles at me the whole time, he doesn’t even ask where I am from, what I like, or how my family is. I sit awkwardly and giggle to myself thinking of how ironic that this god can’t even find the guts to talk to me, plain Jane.

“So, don’t you want to know about me?” I ask politely. Siwon clears his throat and flashes me a breathtaking smile that showcases his perfect pearly whites.

“Okay then, what do you enjoy doing?” He asks just as awkwardly as I feel. I bite my lips while deep in thought, a habit of mine.

“I enjoy dancing, singing, and going shopping.” I say as a short list passes through my brain.

“Sing for me, then dance for me.” Siwon says in a voice that is commanding. I blush and think of the first song that comes to mind.

“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and their like, it’s better than…” stop when I realize what I sang.

“Nae mameul barabwayo, iroke, ateneunde…..” I blush then make eye contact with him. His eyes express what his face doesn’t. Because, once I started to sing his eyes became dark and his mouth hardened into a thin grimacing line. It was that bad huh?

“Something wrong, sire?” I look at him trying to figure out this gorgeous puzzle. He suddenly does a 180 and he is back to showing me that smile. Lord, this boy might just kill me if he looks at me like that again. He smirks as if reading my thoughts. I cough awkwardly and avoid looking into his eyes trying not to blush too obviously.

“No, nothing that you must concern yourself with, my lady” he answers back only this time he seems to be mocking me.

“If I knew any better Charming, I’d say that you were patronizing me.” I say, shooting him a cool look letting him know that I’m not just a damsel in distress. He looks at me with an unreadable expression on his face then sighs.

“Bom, do remember that this is MY castle,” he looks me dead in the eyes, “and I can say and do whatever I choose to do. Not at your request nor anyone else in this land.” Wow, someone is bossy.

I face palm myself; laughing and ignoring his cool glare. If this was my intended prince I’ll have to have Dara take him back.

“Sire,” I start of carefully calculating my words, “I believe that it is time for me to leave. I wouldn’t want to say something that would allow you to banish me from this kingdom.” I smile sweetly but Siwon sees right through my façade. He scoffs and leans in closer towards me. Can you not? I won’t be able to stop myself from pouncing on you. I think devilishly.

I push out my seat and stand up trying to smooth out my dress. This type of guy suits my sister better. Maybe I should stop looking for my prince charming and forever be a spinster with 15 cats.

“I am tired and would like to rest, my lord” I say politely. He scoffs and looks away. With a lazy wave of his hand he excuses me out of the room.

I guess tonight I will have to “escape” this prince. But, it’s not like I am trapped or anything, I just don’t want to make Charming angry.

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