Baseball has never interested me, but I plump down next to Minho on the sofa nonetheless, when he asks me to watch the game with him the next day.
We sit in silence. Normally I would be the one to make all the conversation, but today I only try not to focus on any sounds coming from the front door. Of course that’s a futile attempt because it makes me focus on them only more.
One of the teams scores a homerun, the audience erupts into cheers, Minho smiles. The door clicks.
“Hellooo!” The voice seems almost more cheerful than the celebrating audience at the game. I don’t respond, but Minho turns around and greets Jjong.
The sight of Jonghyun is really not what I need right now. Hoping that he will withdraw to his room, I look down to my hands in silence.
“What are you doing? Watching baseball? Can I join?”
Minho tells him to sit down with us and he – of course – slides into the space next to me. Can’t Minho stop being so freaking polite just once?
The baseball game is still on, but he seems to be the only one paying attention to it.
“How was your day?” Jjong asks me with a casual smile on his face.
“Probably not as good as yours.” I bite my tongue at how hurt I sound; everything will become only more complicated if he notices that I’m jealous.
He only frowns at me. With a quick glance to Minho to make sure that he’s still focused on the TV, he tries to take my hand. I pull it away quickly not even wanting to think of what he has touched with that hand only hours ago.
“What’s the matter with you?” Upon hearing the serious tone of Jjong‘s voice, I notice Minho turning his attention from the game to us now.
“Nothing.”
“Then stop acting so weird.”
I snort. “I’m not the one acting weird, you are. Now leave me alone.”
“But Key, you—“
“You’re getting on my nerves!” With that I jump to my feet, but I’d like to slam my head into a wall right then and there at how stupid I am for making such a scene. And all that in front of Minho…
Because I don’t want to end up in my own room where he’s sure to follow, I head towards Taemin’s door. As I push it open, I find Taemin sitting at his desk in front of the laptop.
“Key…” He looks clearly surprised at my sudden appearance.
I muster up a smile and think of an excuse for paying him a visit. “Minho is watching baseball and now the hyungs are talking about sports again. You know how I just hate that. So I thought I’d go spend some time with my son.”
“That’s great, umma!” Taemin grins and pulls a chair back for me. “Then have some fun with me.” I gladly accept his offer. This time I’m relieved that he never questions somebody’s motives.
Taemin’s easygoing attitude takes some of the overpowering stress from my shoulders. We surf the internet together, laugh about funny videos and I show him pictures of hairstyles I want to try out until Minho barges in after some time. Upon seeing me there with Taemin, he apologizes and wants to leave, but I get up before he has the chance to. I know Taemin well enough to have noticed that he has a weak spot for Minho, so I give them some privacy.
“It’s okay. I just wanted to leave anyway.” I say to him with a smile.
Not really knowing what to do now, I decide to bury myself in my room and wait till some sudden magic trick makes everything return to normal again.
But when I open the door, lost in thought, what I see makes me feel like my heart is imploding in my chest and all my veins are running dry. I want to close the door and lock it. I want to blink and forget what I’ve seen.
Motionless, I wait for him to notice me.