Title: Babysitters

Genre: Comedy

Other notes/Description: Kai and Tao are babysitting little baby Luhan for Suho. But what happens if they lost him? And hell yes, inspired by Tom and Jerry and Baby's Day Out.

“So I really appreciate you guys doing this for me.” Suho said and smiled. Tao and Kai smiled back. Luhan, the little baby, peeked from his cot.

“Dada…” He said as he stretched two of his chubby hands towards Suho. Suho walked over to Luhan and kissed his forehead. Luhan giggled under him.

“Dada would be out for a meeting. Luhan has to stay with Tao and Kai hyung, alright? Promise Dada you would be a nice and good boy.” Suho said as he tapped Luhan’s nose. Luhan again giggled as he nodded his head as if he understands. Suho smiles as he kissed Luhan again and waved the two babysitters goodbye. As soon as Suho was out of sight, Kai immediately flopped on a sofa.

“Argh… tell me why we’re doing this again?” Kai groaned as he flipped through the channels on the television. Tao rolled his eyes as he picked up Luhan.

“Oh come on Kai, look at him. Isn’t he the cutest thing alive? Are you? Are you the cutest thing alive?” Tao asked playfully as he tickled Luhan’s sides. Luhan giggled as he squirmed under Tao’s touch. “Hey, where does Suho put the baby formula again?”

“Eh, on the top shelf, bottom shelf cabinet? I don’t know, I didn’t sign up for this.” Kai said lazily.

“We’re here for extra credit.” Tao reminded him.

“Like I ever cared about education, my dear Tao.” Kai said. Tao rolled his eyes as he looked for the formula.

“God, which one does Suho feeds this little kid? Chocolate flavor, vanilla flavor, honey flavor, green tea flavor? The heck? Oh, original or watermelon?” Tao asked. Kai sat upright.

“There’s green tea?” He asked curiously.

“Yeah, baby formula.”

“Holy , at my days, we only have chocolate.” He jumped over the sofa and joined Tao and Luhan. Tao slapped his arms.

“Stop swearing in front of the baby!” Tao hissed. Kai shrugged.

“Meh, it.”

“Kai!” Tao hissed again as he kicked Kai’s knees. “What if he follows you or something? We are going to get in big trouble!”

“Fuh… ittie?” Luhan mumbled from Tao’s arms. Tao was completely mortified.

“No, Luhan. Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that, okay?” Tao said as he rubbed Luhan’s hands. Luhan nodded his head.

“Let’s just feed the little guy the watermelon formula. God Tao, I do not know these flavors existed.” Kai said in awe as he took out the watermelon formula powder. “So, how do you make milk again…?”

“Um…” Honestly, even Tao forgot how to make milk. It has been years he haven’t taken care of a baby before. Even his little brother is now 15. Tao scratched his head. “I think you need to heat up water first?”

“Okay. Here goes nothing.” Kai poured some water in the electric kettle and switched it on. “Hey Tao, the little light that’s supposed to go on, isn’t going on.”

“Let me see.” Tao said. He placed Luhan on the dining table and went to Kai. He facepalmed. “Kai, this thing isn’t even switched on yet.” Tao said as he flicked his finger on the wall switch. The little light went on. Kai smiled sheepishly at him.

“Sorry, I am not good with electronics.” He admitted. He looked back at Luhan and walked over to him. “Hmm, you are a little cute, aren’t you?” He muttered as he lifted one of Luhan’s legs. Luhan started to tear up and cry. Real loud.

“Kai, what did you do to the baby?” Tao asked as he lifted Luhan and rocked him in his arms.

“What? I didn’t do anything!”

“You made this little angel cry, idiot. That is very mean.” Tao said as he gently rocked the baby. Luhan slowly calmed down and started to play with the collar on Tao’s shirt. “See; are you happy now, little guy? Are you, are you?” Tao asked as he made funny faces to Luhan. Luhan giggled and his hands went up to touch Tao’s face.

“Dude, I think he’s clawing your face.” Kai said. Tao scoffed as Luhan gripped his left eye.

“No man, he is just familiarizing himself with basic facial features for future education.” Tao said, feeling rather intelligent as Luhan was already clawing his lips.

“Sure dude, whatever you say. Oh , your lips are already bleeding.” Kai said as he pointed to Tao’s lips. Tao’s eyes widened.

“Really? Oh man, Luhan, that’s enough. Luhan…” Tao said as he tried to pull Luhan’s hands away, but Luhan insisted to claw his fingernails deeper into those lips. “Kai get him off me!”

“Um, okay. Luhan, here Luhan.” Kai extended his arms and peeled Luhan off Tao. “Lips are for kissing, okay? Not for clawing into.” Kai said. Luhan looked at him.

“Kiss…Kiss?” Luhan repeated. Kai nodded.

“Yes, little man. Kiss, like this.” Kai said as he bent down and pecked Luhan on the lips. Luhan giggled as he clapped his hands.

“Kiss! Kiss!” He chanted happily.

“Look, you are cute and all, but I prefer not kissing you the whole day. It would make me look like a e or something.” Kai said. He turned to Tao. “Are your lips okay?”

“Yeah, just minor bleeding. Oh god, it’s still coming out.” Tao whimpered as he pressed a tissue to his bleeding lips. “At least it’s not that bad.”

“Well, I guess the water is done.” Kai said as he eyed the electric kettle. He placed Luhan on the dining table and walked over. He carefully took three scoops of the powder formula and poured the boiling water halfway inside the bottle.

“Idiot! You aren’t supposed to fill half of the bottle with hot water! You’ll burn the baby’s throat!” Tao wailed as he made his way over to Kai.

“Huh? Really? Then .” Kai said as he cursed himself. “Well, what do we do now?”

“Well, we could fill the other half with normal water.”

“But then it’ll still be hot.” Kai argued. Tao pondered for a while.

“Well, we could put ice cubes in it.” Tao suggested. Kai wrinkled his nose.

“Does it even fit? This bottle’s opening is pretty small.” Kai said as he looked at the bottle.

“Semall!” Luhan exclaimed happily as he clapped his hands.

“We could break it in two. Maybe then it’ll fit.” Tao said.

“Worth a try. Go get an ice cube.” Kai instructed. Tao went to the fridge and came back with an ice cube in his hands. Kai went to the knife board and took out a butcher knife. “Well, here goes nothing.” He placed the ice cube on the counter top and gently hit it with the knife. The cube perfectly broke in half.

“Wow, it worked.” Tao said in amazement. Kai smirked.

“I know right? I’m surprised myself. Now let’s go put these in the bottle. They’re starting to melt and it’s making a mess.” Tao picked the ice and washed it as he popped it in the bottle. Kai screwed in the cap and shook it.

“I think it’s ready for Luhan to drink it.” Tao said as he picked the bottle off Kai. “Come here Luhan! Come here to- Where’s Luhan?” Tao froze when he saw Luhan isn’t where he placed him the last time.

“What do you mean ‘where’s Luhan?’ He’s right- Where’s Luhan?” Kai repeated when he looked over Tao’s shoulders.

“Luhan? Luuuhaaaaannn!?” Tao called as he kneeled and peeked under the table.

“Luhaaann!!!” Kai yelled as he walked towards the living room, look under coffee tables, under chairs, sofas, in his cot and even behind the plasma television.

“Luhan’s gone!” Tao said worriedly.

“No ing way. He was right there!” Kai said while running a hand through his hair. “Where is he?”

“Kai..”

“Yeah?”

“Did you leave the kitchen window open?”

“Which one?”

“The one near the dining table.”

“Oh yeah. I did, we need the fresh air anyways,” Kai said. He turned towards Tao. “Why?” Tao jumped on Kai and grabbed his collar.

“YOU IDIOT! LUHAN MUST HAVE CRAWLED OUT. YOU ING IDIOT NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE YOU-“

“Buttyfli!” Someone called happily outside. Kai peeked outside as Tao turned around. They saw a little baby crawling towards a butterfly.

In the middle of the street.

With cars honking past.

“LUHAAANNN!!!” Both of the babysitters screamed as they bolted outside. Kai slammed the front door shut as they ran towards the road.

“HEY BASTARDS! WHATCH IT!” A driver cursed when they ran past his car.

“Sorry!” Tao squeaked as Kai was just too rude to apologize.

“Luhan come to hyung!” Kai yelled towards Luhan. Luhan turned back but didn’t bother crawling towards them. Instead, he followed the butterfly into a construction site.

Wait, a construction site?!?!?

“LUHAAANNN!!!” Tao screamed as he leaped over a car’s hood. He bypassed Kai, not bothering to check on him as he bolted inside the construction site, kicking the security guard off. “Oh god, LUHAN?!?”

“Where is he?” Kai frantically asked as he spun around in circles. Tao pointed at the unfinished building.

“There! On the elevator!” Tao shrieked. Kai looked up.

“Holy , he’s going to die!” Kai wailed.

“Not on my watch!” Tao said as he climbed over a crane quite easily, since he was that talented in wushu. He climbed up the long neck of the crane, balancing himself.

“TAO NO THEN YOU’LL DIE TOO!” Kai hollered from below.

“WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE NOISE OF THE CONSRTUCTION SITE!” Tao replied.

“We are so dead.” Kai wailed. He turned to the left and saw a beam being lifted by another crane. Deeming he’s light enough, Kai jumped on the beam and held tight on the ropes. “I am so dead. I wonder if Sehun would survive that dance project without me.” Kai said to himself as the beam was lifted even higher. He suddenly felt giddy.

“Kai, what on earth are you doing?” Tao asked as he passed him.

“Getting that damn baby! , where is he now?”

“There! Near that bucket of paint! I’ll meet you up!” Tao called when Kai bypassed him. Kai looked forward, it was his stop. Mustering all his courage and strength, he jumped, his fingers barely grabbing something to hold on.

“Waahhhh!!!” Kai screamed as he felt his body slowly slipping. His fingernails that his lecturer nagged him to cut clawed on the boards, saving himself from falling to his death. Kai breathed in, relieved as he pulled himself up. “Now where’s that baby?” He looked from side to side. “Luhan?”

Tao jumped on the 4^th floor, dusting himself.

“Where is Luhan?” He whimpered. “Luhaaaannn!” He hollered to the baby. He suddenly heard someone giggling. He cautiously walked forward, avoiding any stray nails and anything else sharp or slippery, calling Luhan’s name over and over again.

“Hehe! Buttyfli!” Luhan giggled as he crawled over towards the butterfly.

“Luhan! LUHAN NO YOU’LL DIE!” Tao screamed when Luhan went to the edge. Tao ran after him, but slipped since he stepped on some paint. “LUHANN!!!” He screamed. Luhan fell.

And landed on sand papers that was being lifted on a platform by a crane. Tao who saw this breathed a sigh of relief.

“Luhan?” Kai called as he walked on the 6^th floor. “Hi!” He greeted the workers. The old ahjussis just there just looked at him weirdly. He felt something clinging on his leg. He looked down. “Luhan! There you are!” He happily exclaimed as he picked the baby up. Luhan snuggled in his arms.

“Kiss! Kiss!” He said as he clawed on Kai’s lips. Kai swatted his hands away.

“Not now, little brat. Let’s get Tao first.” Kai said as he took out his phone. “Hey Tao. Yeah, I found Luhan. Let’s go back.”

That night, Suho came back, completely exhausted. He eyed the two babysitters who were watching television. Tao, sensing someone was in the room, looked up.

“Oh, Suho hyung! You’re back already?” Tao asked as he stood up. Kai behind him followed.

“Yes, where’s Luhan?”

“He’s sleeping upstairs. Not to worry, hyung.” Kai said as he laughed nervously.

“Okay. Thank you for your time. Here,” Suho took out his wallet and handed each of them a hundred dollar bill. Kai and Tao’s eyes widened. “That’s a little token of appreciation. I really appreciate your time.”

“But hyung-“

“Just take it as a payment, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks hyung. Bye! If you ever need a babysitter, call someone else!” Kai said as he pushed Tao out the door.