Byunghyun and I were both rudely awakened this morning by Minsoo. He definitely wasn't in a good mood.

"YAH! We're going to be late! Get down here now!" He pounded on our door, nearly scaring me to death. One look at Byunghyun told me he felt the same. I pull the covers off from on top of us and look surprised down at my hand resting on Byunghyun's chest. I blush and pull away, and I can see the other smirking from the corner of my eye. I quickly grabbed a random pair of jeans and a decent shirt from my closet before changing, Byunghyun doing the same. As I put my pyjamas away and get ready to head to the kitchen I feel something pulling me back. Byunghyun looks at me shyly before slipping his hand into mine. I feel a shock travel up my spine, making me feel warm inside. I squeeze his hand lightly before pulling him out the door with me. The walk down to the kitchen was silent and a little awkward, and I could feel all eyes on the two of us. We sit down beside each other and begin helping ourselves to breakfast. Minsoo is the first to speak up, as usual.

"So......are you guys...together or something?" I begin to choke on my food. To my left Jonghyun starts thumping my back. After clearing my throat I spit out my answer, surprised.

"No! We're not!" Minsoo raises an eyebrow at me but says nothing. I look down to my plate and blush. I watch as Jonghyun stares past me at Byunghyun.

"What does Byunghyun think about that?" If looks could kill, Jonghyun would have murdered Byunghyun. The older looks away, refusing to meet his eyes. He mutters something incoherent.

"What was that Byunghyun? I didn't quite catch that." Jonghyun voice is strained and sharp. What's his problem?

"I said nothing, Jonghyun. I don't think anything about it, because there isn't an 'it' in the first place." I watch as Jonghyun smirks slightly beside me. What's gotten into him?

Byunghyun must have noticed this as he pushes back his chair and takes his plate with him. "I'm finished, I'll go first." I watch him anxiously as he puts away his untouched plate and walks back up to our room. After a few minutes I do the same.

"Exscuse me, I'll be right back." I hurriedly follow the younger boy, full of concern. I find Byunghyun lying face down on his bed, his ipod hanging lazily in his hand. Without saying anything I sit beside him and pull and earbud out of his ear and place it in mine. He looks up at me and looks away. I smile when I hear he's listening to Block B's 'Where Have You'. I roll over and lie down in the gap his arm and leg left, sprawling my limbs carelessly across his.

"You listen to good music." I comment quietly.

"Thanks." He whispers. I turn my head to face his which is squished into the duvet.

"What's wrong Byung?" He shrugs, unmoving. I reach out and grab his hand from underneath my back and squeeze it soflty.

"You can tell me Byung, I'm here for you." He looks up and places his head on its side, staring at me. He smiles slightly.

"Thanks Chanhee." He picks himself up and lies completely on one side, wrapping me in his embrace. I don't resist, warming up to his touch. I lean into his small chest, and I can feel his heart pounding into my back through his ribcage. All is still and silent. All is peaceful.

Until we are interrupted.

"I just wanted to tell you guys that were go-" Jonghyun pauses as he sees the two of us lying together. I quickly pull myself from Byunghyun's arms, blushing slightly. Jonghyun glares at me before leaving the room in a huff. I call out to him.

"Jonghyun-ah! Come back here!" He ignores me and doesn't return. I make a rasperberry with my lips in frustration and Byunghyun laughs. Now it was my turn to glare at him.

"It's not funny! He's mad at me and I don't know why." I pout, causing Byunghyun to stiffle a giggle before putting on a serious face.

"I think I know why."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it doesn't matter. We better make sure we are ready for our next schedule, don't you think? Lets go, pali pali!" He pulls me lightly off the bed and we both leave the room for our manager's car, dreading our next long, boring interview.

Today was quite the rare occasion. The interview we had planned on a not-very-popular-or-beneficial TV show wasn't boring to say the least. Firstly, the interviewer wasn't asking the same old questions such as :"What are your hobbies?" or "What do you do when you get bored?", instead she asked us some of our deepest secrets. We were asked about our reactions to girls and clothing these day (too revealing and quite ty we agreed), when was our first proper 'date' with a girl, and if we had ever reached further than first base. A lot of us coughed and had to look away, this surely was one of the strangest inerviews we had ever done. And it got even stranger when we were asked about shipping.

"So have you guys ever heard the 'shipping' of 'couples' your fans do?" We nod weakly. Yep, we'd heard it all.

"Do you know some of the names?" All of us simply nodded again, not wanting to answer. It was a little...awkward. Although we do a LOT of fanservice for our Angels, it didn't mean we were comfortable with it. Well, some of us anyway.

When the interviewer realised she wasn't going to get an answer out of us easily she pushed us further. "So I'm guessing you've heard the most popular couple being shipped?" Some of us nodded and some of us shook our heads. Honestly there are too many fans and too many couple names for me to find a popular trend.

The lady laughs before continuing. "Chunjoe seems to be the trend these days, how do you guys feel about it?" I swear I could feel my eyes bugging out of their sockets. Chunjoe, really? I feel Byunghyun stiffen beside me, letting me know that he feels the same way. Why us?

I hear a cough from behind me and turn to see Minsoo giving me a dark look. I must have shown my confusion on my face because Changhyun laughs from his side, and laughs harder as I jump when Byunghyun slings his arm around my neck. What is he doing?!

"Chunji is mine." He says cutely whilst pinching my cheeks. "Mine mine mine!" I begin to laugh, my body against my will. I couldn't help it, Byunghyun never does aegyo. It's just not his style.

The interviewer squeals in an annoying way before wrapping up the interview by asking us what our messages were to our fans. Bleh. I love all Angels, but answering the same questions over and over really do your head in.

Once in the car on the way back to the dorm everything is back to the way it was this morning. The atmosphere is awkward and uncomfortable, and I feel claustrophobic with Byunghyun on one side of me and Jonghyun on the other. I feel like a barrier that separates the two of them, but not just physically. They haven't spoken a word to each other since this morning. Is that how couples are? When they break up...they don't speak anymore? I was hoping I was wrong, if they don't speak to eachother anymore then Teen Top wouldn't be the same ever again.

I lay down on my bed, feeling confused and a little lost. I don't know where I stand anymore in Teen Top. All this arguing and crying has put everything out of wack. As if the other members had heard my thoughts, shouting erupts from another room, my closed door muffling the yells. Right on cue... A door slams and our dorm is enveloped in silence once again. It hurts thinking that only about 2 weeks ago arguments like this would have shocked us all, but now it's all a regular occurrence. My head rises from my pillow in shock as Byunghyun enters our room in a rage. He tosses his pillow across the room and flops down onto his bed. Hard. His fists begin drumming the mattress, his face squashed into the blanket. It seems as though he hasn't noticed me, but I check just to make sure.

"Cough cough.." He turns to look at me, his face reading surprise before switching to annoyance.

"What are you doing here?" He queries rudely.

"Umm...well this is my room too...so I guess I'm just lying here on my bed?" He groans and rolls flat on his back, his hands resting behind his head.

"How are you?" I ask, trying to open up a conversation.

He sighs. "Confused. You?"

I ignore his question. "What are you confused about?"

He turns on his side to look at me for a moment, his head propped up under his chin, before diverting his gaze to the floor.

"Have you ever thought you wanted something so badly, but realised it's not possible or you couldn't have it, so you turned to something else you thought might work or substitue and it fails, and then you're all confused and you don't know what to do?"

I shake my head and he lets out a long breath, running on of his hands through his hair.

"What is it that you want Byung?" His eyes meet mine and for a long moment I am lost in his gaze, before he suddenly stands.

"It's not possible hyung." He moves towards his closet and grabs a coat from inside of it.

"What are you doing?" He doesn't reply as he heads for the door. I follow.

"Where are you going Byung?" He swivels around to look at me, his eyes blank and unreadable, his face showing no emotion.

"I just need to get away for a bit. I'll be back." He walks along the hallway to the dorm's entrance.

"Byung!" I am replied with the door slamming in my face. Minsoo's head pops up from the front of the cough.

"What was that? Where's Byunghyun?" I shrug my shoulders/

"I don't know, hyung." MInsoo glances briefly at his watch.

"Yah, wheres does he think he's going at this time! He won't be able to see a foot in front of him!" He pulls out his cell and begins to dial a number.

"Yoboseyo? Yah, where are you? What are you doing? No, come back here-" He snaps his phone shut.

"Bastard....I better go look for him." He rises and stretches. A voice suddenly calls out as he kneels down to tie his shoe laces.

"Hyung! Hyung! Daniel hyung is sick!" Minsoo is quick off his feet and so am I as we head to the direction of the voices. The both of us end up in the bathroom, watching Jonghyun peering over Changhyun who is sitiing beside Daniel. His face is flushed and his fringe is sticking to his face, damp and flat. Minsoo instantly drops to the floor in an anxious state.

"Daniel, what happened?"

Daniel's head lifts up and his eyes appear glassy and unfocused.

"I slipped...but I'm ok. Just help me up somebody." He attempts to pull himself up off the floor but his body thinks differently and crashes to the floor beneath him. Minsoo wraps and arm around his waist and places the boy's limp body into his lap cautiously. He flinches as he feels Daniel's forehead.

"He's burning up. Jonghyun, help me carry him to his room. Changhyun, grab some towelettes and a bowl of water. Pali, pali!" I have to restrain myself from smiling in such a serious situation. This is definitely one of those times where you can see why he was chosen as leader.

The five of us slowly descend to Daniel and Minsoo's shared room, and I watch on as Daniel is placed carefully into his bed and attended to with care. A thought suddenly registers in my mind. The five of us...

"Minsoo hyung!" He looks up from where he is applying a damp cloth to Daniel's head.

"What?" He answers distractedly.

"What about Byunghyun?"

"Damn..." He mutters under his breath. "Chanhee, can you take a torch and go looking for him? If you don't find him within the hour come straight back. Don't forget to bring your phone...I'm trusting you to be careful, ok?"

I nod and leave the room to find what I need.

The wind is cold against my back as I wander along the streets. I really should have brought a coat.. A shiver runs up my spine and I rub my hands along my arms, trying to keep myself warm. I pull out my cell phone and dial Byunghyun's number. He answers after two rings.

"Yoboseyo?"

"Byung, where in the world are you? You left without telling anyone where you were going, what's your problem?!"

"Why is it such a big deal, I just wanted to get aw-"

"Because when you left Daniel fell ill, and having to look for you isn't helping the situation!"

He pauses before replying. "I'm sorry hyung...I didn't mean to-"

"Just tell me where you are, we both need to get back and help Minsoo hyung."

I'm at the bus stop on Jin Ae avenue... It's really dark here..." His voice is small and a little shaky.

"Take a bus and you die Byung, hear me?"

"Yes hyung. I'll be waiting."

He hangs up without even saying goodbye. I sigh to myself. Ahh...you confuse me sometimes Byung.

After about fifteen minutes of walking endlessly along similar streets I find Jin Ae avenue. The bust stop is placed beside the street signs on the corner, and I can make out a huddled silhouette behind the nearly-translucent plastic.

I enter the bus shelter and find Byunghyun with his head in his knees. I pat his shoulder lightly as I sit beside him.

"Hyung...you're here." He sits up properly and stares at me as he notices my prescence.

"Yeah, I am. So...do you wanna explain why you're here?"

He averts his gaze and shrugs.

"What did you mean before Byung...what is it that you wanted?" His eyes meet mine again and stay put as he shuffles his body closer to mine, our thighs rubbing against each other.

"You can't...you can't freak out, ok hyung? And you can't tell anyone, alright?" I nod, confused. Freak out..?

"Hyung I...." He takes my hand in his and my entire body freezes. "....I want you, hyung." I feel my eyes widen, and he responds by turning to face me and moving closer. I squish back a little and feel my back hit the wall of the bus stop. We are both so close now that our noses can almost touch. He leans over and I flinch as he whispers into my ear. "I like you hyung." He leans back and looks deeply into my eyes. I feel like doing something, saying something, but my body is refusing to respond. Do something Chanhee, do something! A sensation runs along my spine as I feel Byunghyun's rapid breath against my cheek. My body is frozen in place. I can't move. I don't make any movements, not even when I feel Byunghyun's chapped lips against mine.

He kisses me lightly at first, pulling back a little that causes me to believe he is done until he closes the gap again and begins moving his lips against mine. I don't know what to do. My mind is completely blank. I feel Byunghyun's hands hesitantly grasp the back of my head as he attempts to pull himself into my lap.

Now this had to stop.

I push my hands against his chest as he begins to kiss me hungrily, my body finally chosing to listen to me.

"Byunghyun...stop, please."

He leans back and stares at me warily. "What?"

I my lips anxiously. "I just...I can't do this Byung, I'm just-"

"Let's go." He cuts me off as he stands and starts walking away. Don't be like that..

"Byung! Byunghyun!"

"Hurry up, we need to go home." He replies, his voice emotionless. I rise and trail along behind him hesitantly. My fingers run over my lips. Did he just..did we just..? Thoughts echo in my mind the netire walk back to the dorm. As we enter Byunghyun heads straight to our room and I hear him lock the door. A sinking feeling enters my stomach but I ignore it as I go to check on Daniel. Changhyun is by his side, watching over him.

"Oh hyung, you're back. Minsoo hyung told us all you were looking for Byunghyun hyung. Did you find him? Is he ok? And your face is red hyung, and your lips are swollen. Was it pretty cold outside?" His ramble of questions slightly baffle me.

"Uh yes, I think so, and yes." I rub my lips self consciously. Is it really that noticeable? Will they think I've been kissing someone? Or rather...someone's been kissing me?

These confusing thoughts follow me to my sleep. I take to the couch, too scared and worried to try knocking on my bedroom door. What if he's pissed? Or maybe upset? I don't want him to get the wrong idea...I don't know what to do!

I wrap myself up in a warm blanket and rest my head against the end of the couch. I feel my face heating up as I think about the happenings earlier on...

I don't understand...all of thse feelings....Ah, why is this so hard?! I need to talk this out with Byunghyun. I picture it in my mind.

'Byunghyun, I'm sorry I pushed you away...I just couldn't handle it, but I actually liked it...?'

Wait a second...

I liked it?!

After notee

this was so bad. I'm sorry guys. Ahh the ending and beginning was pretty weak and my middle...my ideas are not so good haha. Sorry, I've been slacking with updates, they need to be more regular I know. I've just been trying to update 5 fics, and I always start an idea and then think of a new one and yeah...It's hard haha

Sorry guys, will try harder!

as always,

ily xx