December 27, 2012

Thick white trails of snow covered the sides and railings of the Incheon Bridge, its beaming lights jollified the atmosphere as upbeat songs of December played through the radio. Yoona leaned on the window of the cab and watched the sight before her. They were halfway through the bridge when the cab man asked Yoona where she’ll be heading.

“First World, Songdo City, Ahjussi.”

The man nodded in acknowledgement and looked at the rear-view mirror of the car. For a minute Yoona felt awkward under the man’s gaze but soon it faded as the driver converse with her.

“You look tired and bothered, Miss. Do you have any problems?”

At first, Yoona was hesitant whether to tell the man or not.

There’s nothing to lose, might just give it a shot.

It took a minute before she answered back.

“Ahjussi, if you cheated on a girl that you really love… does that mean you don’t love that person no more?”

Yoona gazed intensely at the mirror, anticipating the driver’s answer. Crinkles on his eyes were seen as the man smiled at her.

“I’ve been on that situation before…” Yoona shifted in her seat upon hearing those words.

 “A human’s mind is irrational, making decisions and doing things out of a sudden because they just feel like, it’s inevitable. No matter how you love someone… you just can’t help but to seek something more, even if it means losing the one that you can’t imagine living without. Cheating on someone doesn’t mean you don’t love that person anymore; it’s just– let’s just say that you haven’t take time to know her more and you feel unsatisfied so you fulfill your satisfaction with someone else.”

Yoona held her chin with her thumb and index finger, pondering.

“You might think my reasoning about cheating is really farfetched from how people see it but it is true; it’s human nature to cheat. But I am not telling that it’s right to do it. Do you understand me?”

Yoona’s face turned into a frown; evidently she is not satisfied with the explanation.

“Then, what’s the right thing to do?”

The man smiled as he maneuvered the stirring wheel in a counter clockwise motion.

“It is to choose between what you already have and what you want to have. It’s a matter of choice and right decisions.”

Their conversation got more deeper at this point and numerous thoughts was running inside Yoona’s mind while the driver just kept his cool and smiled at the puzzled face of Yoona.

“If you stop cheating and repent for what you have done, that’s the right thing. If you’re willing to fix everything up, brave to take all the blame, and endure all the pain, everything will turn out fine.”

Yoona gave a sincere smile towards the driver and mouthed how thankful she was. All fell silent again, Yoona could see now that they are at the end of the bridge. A yawn escaped ; her left hand covered it to muffle the sound.

“You can take a nap if you want, it’s still a couple of minutes before we reach your destination.”

Her eyes fluttered, she adjusted her jacket and tightened it around her body.

Minutes passed and the cab reached Songdo City, the driver tapped Yoona’s shoulder to wake her up. The woman moved a bit and her eyes opened slowly.

“We’re here,” said the man.

Yoona hopped out of the cab and gathered her things that were already laid out on the sidewalk, she gave the transport fee and bid goodbye to the driver.

She entered the luxurious building, walked towards the elevator, and pressed the button to the 60^th floor. It didn’t take long before she reached the penthouse she owned with Seohyun, she entered the pin code and the door opened. All the lights were off and the house was so silent, when suddenly a music comparable to nature’s ambience begun to play. She entered and shut the door carefully. The room was amply illuminated by the brightness of the full moon.

It became a habit of Seohyun to play this kind of music when she feels troubled or too confused with the things that are going around her. Yoona frowned. Muffled sobs were heard as she neared the center of the living room. There she saw Seohyun lying on her back on the furry white carpet with a throw pillow that covered her face, the area of her jaw line glistened as teardrops that cascaded became irradiated with the moonlight. The sight of Seohyun’s state shattered Yoona’s heart as well, the urge of comforting was too high and all Yoona wanted to do was to hug her. She harshly dropped her luggage and bag to the dark brown wooden floor and caused a loud thud. The previously crying woman jolted up and wiped her tears using the back of her palm.

Yoona kneeled to Seohyun’s level and held her cheeks; her thumb moved left to right as she wiped the younger’s face with care. “I miss you” was all she could mutter as she panicked with the unending flow of tears. She hugged the weeping woman tightly but was harshly attacked by the latter as her curled hands pounded against the shoulder of Yoona. Every hit made the grasp of the older woman tighter until the pounding of fist ended. Yoona rocked the body she held, forth and back- in sync with the melody that played. Her lips lingered on the forehead of Seohyun, traveled down to her left cheek, and when she was about to kiss her on the lips a sudden push sent Yoona lying on her back against the carpeted floor. Desynchronosis triggered and her whole vision went on fuzz.

Instinctively, Yoona spread out her arms as the blurry figure of Seohyun approached her. She was assisted to a couch and lay down there.

“I’ll go bring your things upstairs, rest there for a while.”

Yoona sighed in defeat as she wasn’t able to decline; Seohyun was already upstairs with her luggage and bag. And after what seemed minutes of eternity, her vision worsened and all fade out in black mist. The next thing that happened, she was already plopped into a comfy bed and the light of the night seeped through the open paned window where Seohyun sat. Cool wind blew pass the rectangular hole and brush against Seohyun then to the idle figure on the bed. Though Yoona was covered under thick sheets, she was still able to feel the cool gust and it eventually awoke her.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

Yoona asked, she was about to get up when a pang in her head prevented her from doing so. All Seohyun did was watch her groan in pain. Pure indifference wrecked Yoona’s heart. The pain on her chest had managed to surmount the ache in her head. It felt like her heart was put into a glass cage and was hung loosely by a thin thread that is threatening to snap into half in any moment. Soon, all the turmoil of excruciating sensation died down and left Yoona drained. Having no other choice, she just got back to her previous position and watched Seohyun.  

Thousand miles I traveled just to be near you again yet you’re so distant to me…