“Are you all right, Sehun?” Junmyeon put his arm around Sehun, who was sitting on the couch, staring vacantly into space.  Sehun glanced at him, clearly preoccupied.  It was early morning, and Zitao still had not returned from a shopping trip the previous afternoon.

“I worry,” Sehun said with effort.

“I know.”  Junmyeon squeezed his shoulder.  “I’m worried too.  He probably just disappeared somewhere and is having trouble finding his way back to the house.  I’m sure he managed to find somewhere warm to stay overnight.”

Sehun tried to ignore the fact that Junmyeon didn’t really believe what he was saying.  It had been -5 degrees Celsius last night; Sehun had checked.  If Zitao hadn’t found somewhere warm…

“All we can do is hope for the best, Sehun.  We’re all looking for him.”  He paused.  “Are you all right, though?  I know you usually listen to Zitao’s thoughts, but with him gone…”

“It is hard,” Sehun said eventually.  “But not too hard.  With everyone gone most of the time, it’s not loud.  And I am so worried that I sometimes can’t hear anyone else.”

“Zitao will come back,” Junmyeon said.  “You know he would never leave you.  I’m sure he’s fine; just lost.”

Sehun nodded mutely.

“And I just wanted to let you know,” Junmyeon continued, “if you need to listen to anyone’s mind in the meantime, to make it easier for you, you can listen to mine.”

“Thank you,” said Sehun.  “I hope that will not be necessary.”  

~

Two days later, Zitao was still missing.  Sehun deteriorated a little more every day, and it was all Junmyeon could do to force him to eat.  Jonghyun spent most of his time out, searching.  He figured he would be better off not in the house, where his moods might cause sudden damage.  Beside that, he’d always felt particularly responsible for Zitao, the most timid member of the group.

It was late afternoon, and Junmyeon sat in the living room reading a book, Sehun slumped on the couch across from him.  Kai sat watching TV, the volume low.

Sehun’s eyes popped open suddenly.  He looked as if he was listening hard to something.  Junmyeon watched him.  Perhaps he heard Jonghyun or one of the others approaching?

Sehun raised his head with a jerk, eyes going wide. 

Junmyeon put his book down.  “Sehun, are you all right?”

Sehun ignored him, strain on his face.  He stopped breathing. 

“Sehun?” Junmyeon put a hand on his shoulder.

Sehun let out a whimper.  His face crumpled and he fell back into the couch, breath coming in harsh gasps, digging his fingers into the fabric.  Desperate, terrified whimpers came from him, and his whole body shook violently. 

“Sehun!” Junmyeon shook him gently.  “What’s wrong?  What happened?”

A crunch of gravel sounded outside, along with the sound of a car engine.  Kai hopped up instantly and went to the door.

Sehun let out a sudden scream, terrible and loud and rending.  It went on and on, as if he would break in half.  Successive, sobbing shrieks tore from him.  Junmyeon put his hands on Sehun's shoulders, helpless; dimly hearing Kai greeting someone.

Suddenly there was a pounding, painful pressure in his head.  He clutched at it, letting out a gasp.  It must be generating with Sehun, he realized, trying to think straight.  He reached out, gasping with pain.  “Sehun!”  Sehun sounded as if here were choking now.  Junmyeon shook him with no effect.  Desperate, he slapped Sehun across the face.  He shouted with his mind.

The pressure in his head decreased, and Sehun took a deep breath before continuing to wail, slightly more subdued now. 

Kai appeared in the doorway, eyes wide.  “What the hell was that?  Was that Sehun?”

“Did you feel it too?”

“Yes, we both did.”  Kai had to speak loudly to be heard.  “There’s an agent here with news-”  Junmyeon shook his head, wrapping his arms around Sehun and rocking him.  Kai returned to the kitchen, only to reappear after a minute.

“Junmyeon…”  His tone was lifeless.  “They found out what happened to Zitao.”

Junmyeon’s head snapped up, fear singing through his body.  If Sehun was like this because he’d heard what the agent was thinking before he came in…

“He’s dead.”

Junmyeon had to remember to breathe.  “No… oh, no…” 

“I think you’d better come here.”  Kai looked slumped, drained of his usual energy.  Junmyeon nodded and got up, walking into the kitchen and leaving Kai with the still-wailing Sehun. 

There was a man standing by the table, a folder on top of it.  He greeted Junmyeon, solemn.

“I’m terribly sorry to have to deliver this news,” he said.  “I’d hoped to break it more gently, but…” he waved his hand in the direction of the living room.  “I guess I was thinking to loud.  But we wanted to tell you what happened.  Are you all right to hear it?”

Junmyeon nodded dumbly, staring at the folder.  The man picked it up.

“It seems,” he said, “that your friend was caught outside in the cold longer than he intended.”  Junmyeon couldn’t move.

“We received a report from the local police; boy found dead from exposure.  We have pictures if you feel you need to ID him, but we received a tissue sample.  We know it was Zitao.”

Junmyeon imagined Zitao, little innocent, earnest Zitao; alone in the woods, sky growing dark, shivering more and more violently until he finally fell into his last sleep. 

His face crumpled, eyes filling and overflowing.  The agent came behind him, gently putting a hand on his back and helping him to sit down.

“I’m so very sorry,” he said quietly.  “Do you want me to stay and tell the others when they get back, or would you rather…?”

“Kai and I will manage,” Junmyeon choked out.

“I have details in this folder.  Would you like me to leave it?”

“No.”  Junmyeon scrubbed his face with his hands.  “Take it.  I don’t want us dwelling on his – his… death” - he had to force the word out - “but his life.”

“As you wish.  Remember you can call on us if you need anything.”  The agent put a hand on Junmyeon’s should briefly and left.

Baekhyun came down the stairs after the agent left, wide-eyed.  “Junmyeon?” 

Junmyeon looked up, scrubbing his hand across his eyes.

“Did something happen to Zitao?  I heard Sehun… I didn’t want to come down while that man was still here.”

Junmyeon’s voice quavered.  “He’s dead, Baekhyun.”

“What?”  Baekhyun stared at him in shock.  “No he isn’t.”

“He is.  The agent had photos and a tissue sample.”

“Zitao can’t be dead,” Baekhyun said stubbornly.  “Sehun needs him.”

“That’s irrelevant.”  Junmyeon felt infinitely tired.

Baekhyun stood still for a moment, then abruptly shrieked, “What is the ing point of anything?”  Junmyeon looked up, startled.

“Why the hell do we bother?” Baekhyun continued.  “Zitao was happy, he was finally happy, and then a stupid freak accident takes him away.  I thought if one of us could be happy…”

“Baekhyun-”

“What is the goddamned point!”  Baekhyun lashed out, punching a dent into the wall.

“Baekhyun!” Junmyeon leapt up, enfolding his friend into his arms.  Baekhyun tried to push him away, but then he clung to Junmyeon, fingernails digging into his back painfully.  He didn’t cry, but Junmyeon felt him shaking.  They clung together for some time, but Junmyeon wasn’t sure who was comforting whom.  Or if either of them were.

~

Kai broke the news to Jonghyun, Kyungsoo, and Chanyeol when they returned.  Chanyeol just stared, then left for his room, trailed by Kai.  Kyungsoo promptly disappeared again.

Jonghyun handled the news less well.  He stared, clutching the table, and the whole room shook.  Cupboard doors flew open, books and dishes crashing to the floor.  Junmyeon, who was nearby, fell to the ground clutching his head.  When he got up, his discovered his nose was bleeding.

Sehun eventually wailed himself hoarse, on that first night.  Once he quieted, it was almost as if he were dead too.  He curled up into a tight little ball, not moving, but tears streaming silently.  Junmyeon had to carry him up to his room, and that was where Sehun stayed.  The few mouthfuls of food managed to get into him were torture; he didn’t fight much, but he simply couldn’t be asked to chew or swallow.

~

Jonghyun was fiercely overprotective the next few days.  When not frantically micromanaging his family’s activities, Jonghyun could usually be found with Sehun, attempting to feed him or get some sort of response out of him.  He was distraught.  After the unthinkable happened with Zitao, it seemed he would soon loose another family member.

---------------------------------

And then suddenly ANGST.  D:

Don't give up on the story though, I'll make up for what I did, promise!!  This started out as an experiment on my part, because I wanted to know what would happen if one of the inseparable pair died.  Then it turned into some actual plot.