chapter four 

when life gives you milk chocolate

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After enduring the initial shock and trauma of knowing that I’d spent an entire night snuggled up to some half- stranger claiming he was an otherworldly creature, I found myself in complete and utter denial-you know, the normal human reaction. It was only after washing my eyes out with shampoo (which was definitely not of the baby type and not a good idea) that I realised I was not neurologically challenged and promptly proceeded to chase him out of my apartment wielding my Barbie hair brush like a rabies-infected maniac.

“Thank god, he’s gone,” I whispered shakily to myself as I slid to the floor, back sliding against the steel reinforced door. The good thing about being wealthy was that I could sustain my antisocial habits by living in penthouses where entry required fingerprint or eyeball recognition. That way, no annoying friends like Hyuna could find magic copies of my keys and stagger in half drunk whenever she needed a place to crash. I staggered to my feet. Crazy guy or not, I still had to go to work and I was not prepared to do so with on an entirely empty stomach. Making my way to the kitchen, I fumbled around for some kitchen utensils and my perpetually disappearing apron.

“Well hello again.”

I shrieked a very loud shriek and dropped the frying pan I was getting out of a cabinet on my head, inducing a few seconds of temporary blindness. When I regained my vision, I found my face only inches away from his insanely handsome one. His plump, slightly chapped lips curved into the tiniest hint of a smirk and he pulled away, holding my gaze with his mesmerising amber orbs. 

“I see I have no reason to be concerned about your health,” he informed me, running his thumb over the little area where the metal had made contact with my skin. “Just a little knock to the head.”

“H-how did you get i-in here?” I stuttered partially out of nervousness and fear.

He frowned slightly, the corners of his perfect turning down adorably. His fingers traced the contours of my face as he ignored my question with a simple remark. He leaned in closer, letting his warm breath tickle my cheek, raising goose bumps in their trail. “I think it’s going to bruise, do you have some ice? We can’t have you going to work with a mark on your head.”

“How do you know I even have a job?” I whispered, pretty close to ting my pants on the spot. Either this guy was a trained assassin or he really was an otherworldly creature. The second option of course, I was not prepared to accept or deal with because after the trauma of discovering that there was no Santa Claus (courtesy of little-miss-know-it-all Kim Hyuna in 2nd grade) I was certainly not prepared to invest my emotional wellbeing into a topic as ridiculous as this.

He smiled and stooped down to pick up the dropped drying pan and made his way to the stove. Thankfully, he’d somehow managed to reappear with a white shirt on, although it really wasn’t much of a help either because it was extremely tight around his toned abdomen and I was finding it super hard not to stare. “Pancakes or fried rice?”

His good looks were not covering up the factor.

“Stop avoiding my questions!” I hissed, managing to find a spatula and waving it in front of his face musketeer style. “What are you? How do you know me? What is your purpose?”

“I see you’re having a hard time stomaching the fact that I’m a genie,” he replied nonchalantly as if he was completely oblivious to what his presence was doing to my sanity. It was pretty darn obvious that I was ogling him like a teenage boy watching for the first time. He moved towards the fridge, stooping down so the flimsy cloth strained even tighter around his taut muscles. “You hired me.”

“I did what?” I laughed incredulously. My thoughts raced back to the last memory I had of yesterday. Bird droppings, endorsement model, carrots the bunny… I winced as I recovered the memory of the lamp burning against my palm. I looked down at my hands and found, to my great pleasure that they weren’t burnt in any shape or form. “That… That was you?”

“Well,” he shrugged, “Kind of.”

He pulled out a carton of eggs, butter and milk and shut the freezer with his jean-clad knee as I wracked my brain for more information. Really, I was surprised at just how calm I was. This was the first time that anyone of the opposite gender had stepped foot inside my apartment and a goddamn attractive member of the opposite too.

“What do you mean kind of?” I pestered, taking a seat on one of the spinning chairs next to the kitchen island because my knees were going to give any second. “I’m pretty sure you had everything to do with that loony bunny lover. Are you guys in on this scam together?”

“I like to make dramatic entrances,” he told me with an obnoxious grin, flashing his blindingly white teeth. “The heat and smoke and fire sparks were all very dramatic weren’t they? Besides, it makes it easier for me to convince you that I am a genie if I shot out of a lamp because that’s what they all say in books. But ergh, it was so uncomfortable being stuck inside a tacky lamp from a two dollar shop. I'm used to objects more grand... Like a bottle of Armani cologne.” He shuddered at the memory.

“Well no sympathy here,” I said dryly, starting to feel slightly annoyed. “You convinced me for a second there that I was going to die from being engulfed in mystical fire. Hardly the glamorous way to go... and all for some stupid entrance of yours?”

“Well, would you be convinced if a god turned up at your doorstep with luggage claiming to be a genie? Because no offence, but you’re not exactly my type,” he asked, insulting me right in front of my face. This left my mouth gaping open because usually even the most malicious people had enough tact to talk about me behind my back.

“What god-“

“You’ve been ogling my for the past fifteen minutes and its making it very difficult for me to focus on making perfectly round pancakes,” he replied in a matter-of-fact tone. I blushed a violent shade of tomato red.

“I wasn’t-“

“Do you know that friend of yours, Kim Hyuna?” he asked, smirking a little at my discomfort. “You know how she always tries to set you up with blind dates? Now just try and recall a little quiz you did on a certain website.”

Oh.

Oh so this was what it was all about.

Someone please shoot me now.

For the sake of your convenience, I am going to name the event above the great “catastrophe”.

When I had informed the extremely gleeful Hyuna, she urged me to name it something more appropriate like the great “miracle” or “Big Bang in your pants” or the crude “Jihyun Junior, coming to theatres near you” but I managed to shut her up with a single withering look.

Three weeks prior to the “catastrophe”, Hyuna had decided to pull me out of a product development meeting for a three hour lunch break. I was about to ask her how she had weaselled her way out of working but figured that Kris, her forever obedient secretary was taking the fall for her. Instead, we ended up in a luxurious French Restaurant in downtown Seoul that had stunning views of the sprawling city and little platters of food almost too pretty to eat. Considering I’d lived on convenience store food all through university and most of high school, this was a pretty big culture shock and I found myself squirming in my seat as the classily black-clad waiters waltzed in and out of our private room.

“This place has reservations lining up three months beforehand,” Hyuna whispered as one particularly good looking male waiter set down a platter of squishy red looking stuff which I assumed was some sweet entrée, “It took a lot of flirting with the restaurant manager at last week’s networking function. I bet it was the sparkly black Armani gown. It works every time.”

I was too busy stuffing my mouth with the little red treats. I seriously had no idea what was in them or how they were cooked but it was heaven melting on my tongue. Hyuna tutted and uncrossed her legs, picking up her fork and taking a stab at the food.

“I cannot understand how a Little Princess like you simply has no appreciation for fine food,” Hyuna commented, sighing as she eyed my ensemble of lab coat and jeans, “Or fashion for that matter. Artemis is your motherfreaking grandmother’s brain child! If you haven’t noticed by now, it’s a billion dollar fashion empire.”

I had to admit that I had about fifty Artemis handbags in all shades of the rainbow hidden under my bed.

All of which I’d given to various good causes.

Don’t ask me what use a luxury leather handbag was to Greenpeace.

I doubted it would save any whales.

“Why am I here?” I asked through a mouthful of sugar. “You should take Kris on a date or something, I’m sure he’d be much more agreeable company than I am. At least he has an appreciation for art.”

Hyuna and I dissolved into giggles.

Kris painted like a blind caveman to put it nicely.

“That guy is the biggest mama’s boy out there,” she replied, heaving a little sigh, letting her fork scrape aimlessly on the rim of the plate as she leant back in the chair. “His poor mother would have a heart attack knowing that her son was on a date with Seoul’s biggest party animal.”

Another black clad waiter, this time a female with fiercely lined eyes entered the room balancing three platters of food and two glasses of sparkling water on a tray. She set them down neatly in front of us and left as quickly as she had entered. Hyuna pointed at each of them with a perfectly manicured red nail.

“This one is the Saumon Fume, basically fancy talk for smoked salmon garnished with greens,” she introduced, pointing at a perfectly presented dish of orange looking stuff. “And this is Chef’s famous Gateau au Fromage. It’s just cheesecake with berries and finally, we have the Salade De Canard which is-“

To be honest, I wasn’t even listening, I was way too occupied with heaving as much duck as I could into my mouth in one go. Hyuna gave cocked an eyebrow at me and threw a napkin which hit me square in the face.

“You’ll never get married if you eat like that,” she chided as she watched me sheepishly wipe my mouth. “Anyway, that reminds me what we’re really here for.”

“H-huh?”

Hyuna pulled out her silver laptop from her Coach bag and placed it gingerly on the table before opening it up to reveal a tacky looking website overloaded with pastel pinks and white snowflakes.  

"I’M A GENIE FOR YOUR WISH"

Your wish is my command.

www.genieforyourwish.com

"Fill it in this quiz when you're done eating," Hyuna sighed. "Who knows, maybe this scam website may bring you some good luck in the dating world. Your love life is as non existent as my sense of morale."

“Is this another blind date?” I groaned. “You know how those go. I just don’t know the appropriate things to say when people ask me questions like: how do you envision your family life or what kind of guy you’re interested in. I feel like I’m being interrogated by the CIA or something.”

“It’s just a harmless quiz,” Hyuna said with an eye roll. “Don’t be a wimp and just fill it out.”

I sent her a wounded look which she took no heed of.

“Okay first question,” I announced, scanning the page. “What is your favourite colour out these four: blue, yellow, red and brown.” I stared at the quiz. “Is this a trick question? How is this at all relevant to my ideal partner?”

“Just choose one,” she replied, giving me a soft kick to the shin with her favourite pair of Malano Blahniks. I shrugged and picked brown just to spite my best friend.

“Okay, next question!” I read, ignoring her scathing look of why-the--did-you-choose-brown and continued with the stupid questions. “Which animal embodies your ideal man? (A) Dragon (B) Monkey (C) Lion and (D) Horse.”

“You don’t want to pick monkey or dragon,” Hyuna suggested. “According to the Chinese Zodiac-“

“Okay, okay horse it is!” I picked before she could launch into one of her long winded lectures about the significance of astrology in compatibility of relationships. She smiled and seemed to approve of my choice.

“A horse is nice, dependable and strong yet gentle and wise,” she commented.

“You,” I pointed out flatly. “Have been watching too many Disney Movies.”

A message flashed on the screen:

Thank you for completing this quiz. A Genie will soon be sent to you residence which is when the hire period will start. Once three wishes are granted, the contract with your assigned Genie will end and as you do not have legal ownership over the Genie, it is protocol to for you to return them. There are three cardinal rules that will jeopardise enjoyment of the product if not followed and may result in dire consequences as well as heavenly prosecution.

1. Continuous wishes are not to be granted e.g. “I wish for you to stay forever” or “I wish for an infinity of wishes”

2. Wishes causing intentional or direct harm to other people will not be granted

3. Genies come with a complementary boyfriend function but they are not allowed to develop any deeper relationships other than friends We hope you enjoy our services!

"Seriously?" I laughed. "Heavenly prosecution? Kim Hyuna, whatever substance you are on, please give me some."

“I am strongly against the abuse of drugs,” Hyuna replied feigning a gasp of horror. “How could this righteous person ever do something crazy like that? Besides, if you wanted to get high all you have to do is walk into your lab and get one of many vials of chemical and sniff really hard.”

Oh trust me, my dear best friend had done a lot of crazy things.

Like crash a wedding in a hula skirt, half drunk and half asleep, determined that she was going to save the groom from an unhappy union. Turns out, she was right about the unhappy union (because the groom was gay) but the wedding hall was less than impressed and imposed a fine of $2000 USD which she flirted her way out of wearing nothing but a red bikini and a Hawaiin flower necklace because her skirt had somehow fallen off during her mission. I can't even begin to explain how she convinced me to become her accomplice. How someone as dull and uninteresting as I was ended up next to the shining, vivacious party girl Hyuna was a question yet to be answered. Throughout middle school and high school, there had been multiple chances for her to dismiss me as her friend and mingle in a crowd that she actually fitted in with but instead, she chose to stick with me like strawberry gum would in your hair. It was quite funny really, watching the apple of the principal’s eye apply lip gloss on a dorky girl plagued with acne and braces.

Hyuna’s phone rang with five distinct, high pitched beeps. She fumbled around in the abyss that was her handbag and fished out her phone. “Hello, this is Kim Hyuna speaking?” 

“Yoona wants to see you in her office right now, there’s a new intern that needs approval of.” I could make out Kris’s distinct voice from the other end.

Hyuna stiffened. “, what time did she want me there?”

“Right about…” Kris hesitated. “Now.”

Without a word, Hyuna leapt from her chair and bolted out of the restaurant, leaving all the delectable food to me which I had absolutely no problem with. I just hoped she’d get out alive from the meeting because after all, it was Public Enemy Number One, Im Yoona.

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 author's note 

» I have a tendency to ramble in my author's notes and I think some people find it annoying so I'll keep it short. Sorry for being M.I.A for a month, my school is all for älternative" learning so we've been spending a lot of time doing "project based" education which is time consuming and annoying. Thanks again to all the upvoters and commenters, hope you enjoyed this chapter! :D