chapter one 

 mission impossible

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"This is Channel 10 reporting to you on the latest news in the Nongshim Foods embezzlement scandal. In a recent turn of events, Kim Jongin, the son of disgraced CEO, Kim Dohan of Nongshim Foods has been reported missing on Sunday at 7pm by his grandfather who had been granted temporary custody of the potential heir.  He was last seen at an exclusive private foreign languages academy and has not showed up at school or his much loved dance club. The entire Kim family is in distress and tempers are quickly flaring as they try to come to terms with this tragic turn of events. Police are desperately searching for the young boy and suspect that angry investors may of kidnapped him to demand ransom from the affluent family. They strongly urge any members of the public with any information that may be valuable to the investigation to call the crime stoppers hotline at-

A man leisurely took a sip of his red wine, his soulless black eyes sweeping over the television screen as the reporter delivered the supposedly heartbreaking news in a deeply emotional voice. The cool liquid trailed down his throat, soothing his previously frayed nerves as he let his gaze wonder over to the window and the scenery outside. Outside, the distinct sound of sirens wailed down the freeway as rain pelted at the tinted windows like the wings of a wounded bird. A man dressed entirely in black stepped into the room as stealthily as the wind and took three long strides to press an ornate box of African Blackwood into his hands. He stepped back and fixated his cat-like green eyes on the box, the tiniest hint of a smirk ghosting over his chapped lips like a chilly winter draught.

“So it’s done?”

The man in black merely dipped his head in reply.

“The money will be wired into your account as soon as day breaks and the police find the body. I assume there has been no evidence left at the scene?”

“I would prefer cash.”

The man sighed and reached into his safe at his side, punching in the pass-code with slightly shaky fingers and found his fingers searching for the wads of money-money that did not belong to him. He retracted his hand, now full with crisp hundred dollar bills.

“Here.”

The man in black studied the wad of cash for a moment before stealing away into the night like a phantom. The man leant back into the luxurious leather chair and opened the clasp of the box with a little click. Inside, nestled in a pure white lining of mink fur was a single human heart.

Pak. Pak. Pak I hurried faster to my car as the frightening pattering of footsteps grew louder and louder with every passing second. Bewildered, I darted a look to my left and right searching desperately for a sign of life but it seemed I was completely alone in this creepy parking lot. I stopped, shuddering at the eerie silence and the faint sound of screeching tires. It was an endless labyrinth of grey pillars and cement, making an escape seem hopeless. I shook my head dismally, wrapping the navy blazer tighter around my thin shoulders as montages of creepy serial rapists ran through my mind like a documentary reel. What did the news report say just yesterday? Oh you know you, just the fact that ual predators in Seoul were at an all decade high and their new favourite hide outs were dodgy carparks. Just my luck.

Pak. Pak. Pak.

“Dammit, I knew I should’ve gotten that pepper spray on sale on eBay,” I muttered under my breath. A cold draught of wind caught a few loose strands of my hair and blew them into little wisps around my face which resulted in a whole lot of face yoga as I tried to wrestle the annoying pieces from my mouth. I eyed my modest bright red Nissan Micra which was a good twenty metres away and took a huge gulp of air, trying to calm my nerves. Something rustled at my left ear, similar to the sound of leather scraping against leather. I took that as my cue to attempt and escape and made a desperate dash for my car despite my complete incapability to run without tripping. It didn’t exactly help that I was executing such a perilous activity in six inch work heels so inevitably; I ended up tripping over my own feet without even making it even two metres closer to my car. There was a howl of laughter and I found myself unceremoniously hoisted onto someone’s shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Diagnosis = /Molester/Organ Harvester/Aliens from Mars

“SWEET BABY JESUS! I’M WEARING A FREAKING PENCIL SKIRT, DO YOU WANT TO EXPOSE MY UNDERWEAR TO THE ENTIRE WORLD? THIS IS A DISGRACE AND - OW THAT HURT YOU IDIOTIC BUFFALO!” I hollered while smacking the leather-clad stranger’s back with all my might. Smart move, his leather jacket was studded with spikes. “ARE YOU INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED OR WHAT? THERE ARE CCTV CAMERAS ALL OVER THIS GODDAMN PLACE! IF YOU WANTED TO KIDNAP ME, YOU COULD’VE CHOSEN A BETTER LOCATION YOU BUFFOON.”

“Just put her in the car.” A bored sounding female voice snapped from behind us. Uh oh, this was not good. The nonchalant tone of her voice suggested my captors were both very experienced and had done this countless times before. My chances of escape were getting smaller and smaller, much to my dismay. “Yes Ma’am,” a deep, smooth male voice responded respectfully.

Wait I recognized that voice-

“LORD I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE MY ITY TO A STRANGER, DON’T EVEN TRY TO ME OR LEGIONS OF MY MONKEY WARRIORS WILL BE OUT TO EAT YOUR BALLS! MY GRANDMA IS A FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON, SHE'LL FOLD YOU INTO A PRETZEL IF YOU SELL ME TO A HUMAN TRAFFICKING RING! I'VE GOT CONNECTIONS.” I hollered, continuing my incoherent ramblings of fear as I struggled against his iron hold around my waist. “PLEASE FORGIVE ME, DADDY FOR BEING SUCH A STUPID DAUGHTER WHO CAN'T EVEN COOK RICE WITHOUT BURNING THE KITCHEN DOWN. GOD PLEASE RESERVE ME A PLACE IN HEAVEN EVEN THOUGH I MAY NOT DESERVE IT. I WILL SERVE YOU WELL IN COMPENSATION FOR MY SINS. I PROMISE.”

“Stop squealing, would you? And what sins? You’re the world’s most uptight female. The only sins you've committed are your fashion choices,” the female huffed, sounding suspiciously similar to my best friend, Kim Hyuna. However, there was no time to play detective, I needed to save my and fast. I continued my screaming like there was no tomorrow.

“PLEASE FORGIVE MY SINS, LIKE THE TIME I STOLE KRIS’S BB CREAM BECAUSE I NEEDED IT TO COVER UP A BRUISE FROM FALLING OVER AND ALSO THE TIME THAT I BORROWED BAEKHYUN’S EYELINER AND LOST IT. PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING SUCH A TALENTED FLOOR-HUGGER THAT NOW FLOORS JUST CANNOT RESIST ME!” I squealed, kicking wildly as he rapidly approached an ominous looking black car. The female’s high heels clacked rhythmically against the cement, only heightening the fear that was coursing through my veins.

“You what?” my captor blurted, outraged. “You were the one that borrowed my precious BB-“ I ignored him and continued my crazy yelling spree. If the situation wasn’t so thoroughly confusing and frightening, I might’ve laughed at myself. I kicked my captor viciously in the stomach with the toe of my designer stiletto.

“I DON’T WANT TO DIE, PLEASE I’LL GIVE YOU ALL THE MONEY I HAVE. I HAVE GUCCI IF YOU LIKE GUCCI. THESE SHOES ARE GUCCI.”

“They're Prada, darling,” the woman remarked dryly, unlocking the doors and getting in gracefully. I stopped struggling and let the man shove me into the back seat of an expensive sports car. Kim Hyuna sat, legs crossed, a devilish smirk painted across her luscious red lips. Of course, my best friend had to pull an elaborate kidnapping scheme by enlisting the help of her forever obedient secretary, Kris just to get me to sit in her car. I groaned and let my head drop against the luxurious, cool leather upholstery.

“What is it this time?” Kris shot me a glare as he got into the driver’s seat grumpily, still grouchy about his BB cream. He was decked out in expensive leather, which explained the strange rustling sounds I’d heard earlier while picturing my own death. He looked like he belonged in the Italian mafia with his blonde hair slicked back. No prizes for guessing who made him dress like someone straight out of a 1980s film. He spoke smoothly albeit a little sulkily. “Where to?”

“Club Mercury,” she answered as Kris pulled swiftly out of the parking space, narrowly missing a giant grey pillar.

“Wait, what-“ “Your outfit is a little bland for getting wasted, don’t you think?” Hyuna purred, clamping a manicured hand over my mouth and ignoring my muffled attempts at rebuttal. “Kris, pass me the dry cleaner’s bag up front.”

Kris wordlessly handed her a bag containing a jaw-dropping sequinned dress that was so short, it literally left nothing to the imagination. Hyuna waved the garment in front of my face in glee. She squealed and threw her arms around me. “How exciting is this? Mary over here is actually going to do something about her nonexistent love life!”

Socializing.

One word.

Eleven letters.

And it was going to be the death of me.

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 author's note 

» So the first chapter was a little morbid but I hope I provided enough comic relief in the second part. Don't worry, the rest of the story will be much more light hearted. Thank you to everyone who upvoted this story, I'm super touched that this story had so much support even when it was chapterless TT^TT: EXO_fa-star, acupofmoriarty, jongjong, zfarhi, kariwinn, AngryBird_KaiRis, dorkyleaner, Hyopuu, pigrabbitlove, minime96, shannonigan, charmallama