chapter two 

 bunny love<3

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Chen didn’t usually do .

Even with his whole slew of sophisticated college degrees and a total recall memory, he preferred to spend his eighty hour work week digging up dirt on his fellow employees or playing obnoxious pranks on unsuspecting interns. But this morning was different. Because their celebrity endorsement for their company’s new line of shrimp noodles had suddenly gone into hiding due to the loss of a certain pet bunny by the name of “carrots”. He vividly remembered spitting out his mouthful of Evian sparkling water when Hyuna proposed him as their model and now it was to perfect opportunity to be gloating with the usual: I told you so.

"It takes one to know one," Chen had spluttered in disgrace. "The guy is a douche! I would know! Amd he's vegan which means he doesn't even eat shrimp flavoured stuff, your whole campaign is a lie!"

Hyuna had only cocked one perfectly plucked eyebrow in response.

“Get the IT guys to stall any articles that may generate negative publicity,” he barked at an intimidated marketing intern as she scurried past, the mousy grey colour of her suit not really making a distinction from the previous analogy. The head of the IT department, a genius boy who bore a striking resemblance to a twig, nodded quickly and stumbled his way through the crowd of frenzied workers littering apologies here and there. “And someone get the stupid idiot on the phone so our lawyers can talk some sense into him!”

“Lay off,” Hyuna groaned, stepping into the office looking very unlike herself. Her usually impeccable grooming was totally off target with her baby white Chanel suit crumpled and fire engine red hair sticking up in all places they shouldn’t have. “What’s all this fuss about? I swear I saw our intern Seohyun running out of here crying.”

Chen felt a pang of guilt but managed to send Hyuna the best of his withering looks. “You’re the head of the marketing team, you should know that our little starlet has pulled out from the endorsement.”

“He can’t do that,” Hyuna chuckled wearily, not quite comprehending the situation yet. “I think I’m still hungover. Do I look hungover?”

“You look more hungover than usual if that's what you mean,” Chen scoffed. “And yes, yes he can.”

“Do you know how much of a pain it was to get him here in the first place?” she replied with a yawn. “A two million dollar contract and five hours of wild .”

“YOU HAD A DANCE IN YOUR PANTS WITH MR BUNNY BOY?” Chen howled.

“Zip it,” Kris growled, swooping in on their little exchange before turning his attention to his gorgeous manager. “Boss, I have him on the phone, perhaps you could talk some sense into him. He does seem a little distressed.”

“Talk what sense?” Chen muttered, watching the two disappear into the labyrinth of corridors. “Maybe she could convince him with five hours of phone ?” He shrugged at the scene and strolled into his office, deciding that he wasn't a very hands on person and was not going to dip his hands in cow dung

Meanwhile, Hyuna was struggling to prevent herself from tearing out her hair from the roots. Over her pounding headache, messy clothes and annoyance she was dealing with an absolute idiot who was insisting he terminate his contract due to a necessary mourning period for his sacred bunny. Luckily, Kris was not only an excellent secretary but had attended an elite butler school in London on scholarship as well. He had a freshly ironed Burberry ensemble set out for her on the leather couch and was using his left hand to spin her tousled hair into an elegant chignon while using the other to dissolve hangover medicine into a glass of soothing green tea.

“Look Mister,” Hyuna snapped, finally losing her limited capacity for patience. “If you terminate your contract, we’ll sue you for breach of contract and our lawyers will be sure to chase you up for the costs of mitigating damage caused to the launching of our new line of product, you hear me? Our current price stands at two million USD and even more if you drag on this little saga of yours.”

“You don’t value the spiritual animal life as much as I do. Carrots was in the seventh dimension of space time and destined to proceed to nirvana. Don’t you believe that Carrots should be living together with me with our souls entwined in nirvana? He deserves enlightenment too,” the model sniffed with an air disdain from the other end of the line. "We are one with love. Love is peace and peace is God-"

Hyuna turned to Kris and mouthed the words I can’t believe I even contemplated having with this fruit loop.

Kris’s lips twitched into the briefest hint of a smile before he returned to helping Hyuna with the application of mascara to her already glamorous lashes. “I don’t care about enlightenment,” she hissed. “If you don’t want our lawyers to sue your sorry until you’re bankrupt then fine. Just don’t come to me crying when you can’t even afford a funeral for that stupid pet.” The line went dead. Hyuna buried her head into her arms and screamed the only name she could think of. “BAEK JIHYUN!” 

“Okay so you want me to do what?” I blurted. “Repeat that again please.”

I was sitting in Hyuna’s office sitting in one of her special chairs reserved for V multiplied by infinity I.Ps, flanked by a very solemn Kris. But then again, Kris was nothing but solemn. You could bring in a tub of puppies and kittens along with a unicorn farting a rainbow cloud of sparkles and he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash. The frown on his forehead was so heavily engraved into his fine lines that I was starting to get just a tiny bit intimidated.

“I figured you’re weird, he’s weird so maybe you could figure out something together,” she explained, looking up at me with her infamous puppy gaze. “Our endorsement model terminated his contract just an hour ago and we really need him to come back. Think about all the hard work you put into the developing the final flavourings of our-“

“Actually,” I returned matter-of-factly. “Chen decided to hack our pass code into the company labs and dumped some ingredients we’d been working on together in a beaker and voila, we had our new flavouring.”

“That guy has way too much time on his hands,” Hyuna muttered to Kris. She turned back to me with her hands clasped on the table. “Idiots aside, we need you and your socialising skills.”

Okay that was so funny that it wasn’t funny.

I darted a nervous gaze at Kris. “What… socialising skills?” “Come on, you know you’re on a different frequency from everyone else in society, kind of life AM and FM radio. While every other respectable human being is out there trying to have the time of their lives, you’re always holed up in your room watching videos of cute kittens on YouTube. Maybe you and bunny boy could connect, you know,” she explained, locking her fingers together in a swift motion. “All we ask of you is to go to his house and try talk some sense into him. Do some meditation or something.”

“You want me to have a tea party at some stranger’s house?” I asked unbelievingly. “And someone of the opposite gender too! One I don’t meditate, two I’m very well aware of stranger danger and three, you should be leaving this to the legal department, not yourself.” I leant back into my chair and focused on the array of desk toys on her desk, in particular the Newton’s Cradle that was so unusually still. She really liked to play with the silver balls when she was stressed. “It may be your funeral you know.”

“Well, men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus so you’ll have no trouble getting to know each other,” she quipped, doing a little twirl on her office chair. I was very envious of that particular leather chair, the chairs in the lab couldn’t be nice on account of how many chemical spills I made every day. “And it may very well be my funeral but I am genuinely afraid of hellfire so if we don’t fix this problem, my biggest nightmare may just come true.”

“Oh I forgot,” I muttered, disgruntled with the disruption to my plans. I had decided a quiet night in, and watching videos of cute kittens on YouTube would be exactly my kind ofrelaxation. Now I was doomed to meet some hunky model who had an absurd like for his pet rabbit. “It already came true. Because your biggest nightmare is me.”

“I wouldn’t argue with that,” she sighed. “Now we just need to figure out what to do with… that.” I didn’t miss the one over she had given my choice of outfit.

“Vera Wang, Givenchy, Prada or Gucci?” Kris asked, heading over to her in built closet like he had read her mind. Apparently at Butler school, they train you to read minds as part of the curriculum.

“How about that petal pink Naeem Khan number with the sheer art-deco inspired skirt?” she suggested to my utter dismay and horror. Kris nodded in approval and pulled out the dress which pooled on the floor like a pastel pink puddle.

“No, I’m not wearing anything that requires me to shave my legs, wear chicken fillets on my s or fabric tape because-“

“I don’t believe you don’t have a choice,” she cooed. “You wouldn’t want to let down your grandmother would you?” “Seriously?” I scoffed, folding my arms over my chest. “I haul your drunken up nine flights of stairs because the elevator isn’t going any higher than the 63rd and you repay me by threatening me? You wouldn’t.”

“But I can,” she replied with an air of victory. “The only thing stopping me from doing so is our two decades of friendship. I only said that to provide some incentive since you know she keeps very close tabs on you.”

“That’s enough incentive alright,” I griped with a dismissive wave of my hand. “Now put me in that stupid dress and get Kris to do my make-up. Last time you tried I ended up looking like a cross between Lady Gaga and Mary.”

“Now just make sure you try to bring out your true Baek Jihyun colours and knock him straight in the balls with that eccentric charm of yours,” Hyuna cheered, looking considerably happier than before.

“If you haven’t forgotten,” I muttered on my way out of her office with a sparkly dress draped over one arm. "I have none."

Five hours later, I found myself sitting cross legged on a sheep skin mat with a turban perched on top of my head.

My face was covered with some foul smelling war paint.

I suspected they were bird droppings. (it is essential you listen to this for the next part of the story)

“Breath in the love. Breath out the ego. I am one with you as you are one with me. We are one with the world. Peace be with us.” He placed a few burning sticks of incense into a red earthen pot and waved his hands in a circular motion, inadvertently the strings of smoke into my face. My nose twitched and I flared my nostrils really hard to prevent myself from sneezing. As far as I knew, the guy was a germaphobe and would kick my apologetic out of his top floor window if I did anything to contaminate what he described as “his essence of being”. Really, it was just a fancy way to say oxygen. He breathed in the spicy air and raised the coffin of his pet bunny high over his head. “Carrots Tamatue Worrocha Tara Jikva has moved into the next dimension of illusion. We honour him and his eternal soul.”

He flicked his robes out behind him like a fabulous peacock spreading its feathers and bowed deeply, his head almost touching the floor. Unfortunately, I was nowhere as near as flexible so I could only make it halfway. Besides, my designer dress was sheer and borrowed which meant that not only was I not to tear it, but I would die a painful death if I did so. If Hyuna was one thing, it was protective of her clothes but I was really having a hard time not flashing my highly unglamorous granny . Maybe it was a celebrity thing but our ex endorsement model was managing to pull off a giant turban of sickly purple and orange swirls and a pair of Indian inspired moccasins with gold tassels. If Fashion Police existed and held any sort of jurisdiction, Hyuna would be their Chief and would be beating the dude to half death.

“Behold the great lamp of destiny,” he bellowed, holding out a tacky looking gold tea pot with a crooked spout and waved it around my head. He smiled down at me, his amazingly amber eyes piercing through mine. Despite all his strange affinities for animal droppings and vegan diets, the guy was irrevocably good looking and I finally understood why he was one of the most sought after models in the country. That didn’t make me any more comfortable, in fact the effect was quite the opposite.

“Stand up peasant and honour the spirit animals.”

Great so I now I’d been demoted from High Priestess of Spirit Animals to a mere peasant.

Five minutes ago, it had literally been hammered into my head that I was "high priestess" because he had stuck a gold seal in my bun stating "High Priestess of Spirirt Animals". 

Considering my own status as a social pariah, I rarely called anyone weird but this guy was the loopiest of fruit loops.

I stood up as hastily as I could with my legs restricted by a thousand dollar designer dress and followed his flailing arm motions. From what I could see it wasn’t karate or tai chi or yoga so I just mimicked his choreography to the best of my ability. If anyone was watching me prance around like a fire was raging in my underwear, they would instantly know that dance was definitely not my forte. “This is the ancient dance of the spirit Eagle, the great undertaker of death and the crosser of Hade’s River,” he explained gravely, still tip-toeing around the room, Indian robes and all.

“Wow that is just so interesting,” I commented, trying my utmost best to sound entertained. “The Americans chose a good mascot for their country then, didn’t they?” I laughed uneasily.

“No, no they did not!” he thundered, spinning on me with surprising fervour. I shrunk back, a little nervous of his passion on the topic. “The eagle takes the dead, hence America will be heading for a gory end!”

“Okay well just make sure you never mention that to the UN Secretary of State and start World War III,” I muttered under my breath.

“Do not interrupt the sacred ceremony!” he snapped. I shut up.  

He placed the teapot lamp cupped under both our hands and started mumbling a string of Russian which I obviously could not decipher. The metal was growing uncomfortably hot over my already sweating palms and I winced slightly, wishing the ritual would end soon. Besides, his pet bunny had not been mummified and had begun smelling a tiny bit like rotten fish eyeballs in his casket. I tried taking my hand away from the lamp as the heat intensified enough to burn the tender skin of my hands but felt myself unable to do so, as if there was an invisible magnetic force gluing my hands onto the object. I opened my mouth to hiss in pain but discovered my lips were paralysed as well, my facial muscles were so frozen I could even manage the tiniest of smiles. The tongues of heat flicked out around my body, making my heart seize in a mixture of excruciating pain and shock.

"KIM HYUNA YOU ARE SO DEAD-"

A blinding white light shimmered brilliantly around the lamp and then there was nothing.

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 author's note 

» This chapter was a little bit of a filler but leads to the most important event in this story so please wait patiently for the next update! :D You'll get to meet Kai, our resident genie very very soon. Please drop some constructive criticism if you have some or what you hope to happen in the story because I actually get stuck a lot and opinions are really useful. Anyway, thanks again to the fabulous people that upvoted this story and commented BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL LOVED OKAY /bricked. 

And here are the honourable ones:  Lydine, quessie, kimchilaion, dyo-nosaur, miyualice, scattered (PM ME IF I MISSED YOU OUT)