[Chapter 3]

Captain Yoon's Goguma

[Yoona's POV]

Strolling through the mall to our meet up point was nerve wracking. I felt like I was walking to my doom! Why did I agree to it just being the two of us today? Aigoo. I should have asked the other unnies to come with me! How can I possibly get through today without freaking out? Ugh, I'll think of something. I squeezed between a few people that had stopped in the middle of the walk way and found her looking up at the hanging decorations. She looked so gorgeous as my eyes scanned her up and down just once. Instantly, I felt my heart begin to race. Seohyun why do you make me feel like this? Before taking another step closer to her, I took a deep long breath to calm my nervous self. That didn't do much, but I guess it'll have to do for now. My first step was hesitant. So was the next, and the one after that, and the one after that.

I froze for a minute when I saw her mumbling something to herself. Omo! Is she crying?! I watched her wipe something from the side of her face before she looked around for someone...for me! My head turned to the side as I walked, acting as if something had caught my attention. Looking forward again I saw her smiling face. Maybe she wasn't crying?

“Annyeong unnie.” She greeted warmly. Oh that voice, how I love it.

My eyes scanned her features, she looked so beautiful. No matter what time or day it is, she's always beautiful. Completely perfect. But then... There, I saw it. To the side of her face I saw a small tear trail that was obviously wiped away. So she was crying...but about what? I decided not to press on about it. I don't want our day to be ruined because of my curiosity. “Annyeong Seo. I'm sorry that this was so last minute. Yesterday, Yuri-unnie, Taeyeon-unnie, and I were just shopping for ourselves.” I chuckled weakly and scratched the back of my head hoping it'd be believable. The other unnies did say that I could become a famous actress one day. But that's just a dream.

I guess my acting skills are decent enough seeing as Seohyun giggled and nodded her head. “It's okay unnie. I wasn't waiting long.” She smiled to me. Oh how my heart was melting. Before I could turn into a puddle, Seohyun looked around. “So it's just us for today?”

I nodded to her casually, careful not to imitate a bobble head. “Neh. Taeyeon-unnie asked Tiffany-unnie to help her pack for when she has to leave. Yuri-unnie said she wanted to buy Krystal a present so she's with Jessica-unnie.” I put a hand under my chin and quickly chiseled my face into a thinking expression. “I think the other three are doing what they love most; reading, dancing, and playing video games.” A soft giggle escaped from Seohyun. Such music to my ears. “I hope you don't mind it just being us.”

She waved a gentle hand my way. “Oh, I don't mind. It's fun when it's just the two of us. Everything's always hectic when the other unnies are around. There's too many conversations at once sometimes.” Seohyun nodded her head at her own words. “So where should we go?”

Err...that much I didn't think through exactly. Yeah I said that we were here to shop for my parents, but I don't even know what they'd really like! “Uhm...” Managed to slip from between my lips. Oh great! Now my plan will be ruined! Seohyun's no fool! She'll be able to figure out that I only wanted to hang out with her! I mentally face palmed at my failure. How could I not plan this much out?

Suddenly, I felt her hand grab mine. I gasped silently at our skin ship as my heart began to pound in my chest. This time she was the one to grab my hand! Well, we only held hands twice but still! Before I could say anything, Seohyun was already tugging me towards the middle of the mall. “It's okay unnie.” She giggled. “I think I know a place that sells things your parents might like.” That smile she showed me was sort of...irking me. I don't know what it was but all I knew was that it wasn't genuine. It wasn't the same heart warming smile that I loved seeing. Something was being hidden under that smile...but what?

I wasn't able to study her face for long as she looked forward and began to drag me towards whatever store she had in mind. I made sure not to protest though, our hand holding was something I didn't want to end anytime soon. My eyes constantly locked onto our hands in between us. Just a simple shift and our fingers would be laced together. We'd be holding hands like a real couple! Aish! Aniyo Yoona! Doing something like that would definitely spark her curiosity! Then she'd figure out you like her! Can you imagine what kind of Christmas gift that would be? Oh you like me? Here's my gift to you; the cold shoulder.

When I noticed we were slowing down, my eyes locked onto the back of her head until we were side by side. Her eyes never met with mine, but I could still be lost in them. They looked so innocent, so pure. Seohyun wouldn't do that sort of thing to me right? She'd never push me away if I confessed. Would she?

From what I could see, her eyes were shifting back and fourth. They were pondering the space in front of her, but for an answer to her questioning thoughts. Seohyun. What's wrong? My lips pursed involuntarily as I felt concern consuming my emotions. Then again, who wouldn't be concerned when their crush is obviously upset over something. I wanted to say something, but at the same time I didn't want an awkward atmosphere between us. Gulping down the lumped up words in my throat, I took a quick breath. “Seohyun-ah.”

Immediately her attention snapped onto me. Her eyes looked glistened. Was she about to cry? Before I could continue, her attention went to around us until she finally stopped walking. “We're here.” She spoke cheerfully as she quickly dragged me into the store before I could even read the name. I glanced around the store to inspect the place. It was small but had a rather homey feel to it. There were many antiques in various places that didn't seem out of place. “I think your parents might like all the little knickknacks that they have around here.” Seohyun beamed, picking up a doe like figurine and smiling widely at me as she presented it. “This one looks like you, unnie.” She giggled happily.

Taking the little deer, I smiled and glanced at her with my own smile. “It's because of the eyes huh?” I teased holding the thing close to my face for a comparison. Despite how happy I was making Seohyun now, her smiles weren't completely real. I could say that much. Sure her lips were tugging from ear to ear, but I could still sense...sadness. What is it Seo? What's the reason for you being like this?

We ventured further into the store, stopping by all the cute things that they had. There was an alligator that would open and close its mouth when you would pull the tail. I cracked a joke that it looked like me when I would laugh uncontrollably. At least I was getting the first part of my mission complete; making her happy. She would giggle and laugh at my little comments, her even joining in on the fun every now and then. It wasn't long until I started to tell myself that maybe I'm putting too much thought into how she was smiling earlier. Maybe-

“Unnie look!” She pointed happily at a pair of porcelain Koi fish. It was an obvious decoration that was meant to go together. Both were white with black and orange blotches on them, a hint of yellow splatters were mingled in there as well. Seohyun picked up the pair and held them up happily. “Maybe we could give one to your mom and one to your dad.” Her smile seemed to have faded slightly with the words that slipped out of before an ear to ear replacement was slapped on her features.

I glanced down at the doe figurine that I had held onto this whole time. “Maybe you should give that to your parents this Christmas.” My eyes locked onto hers as I smiled presenting the first thing she had given me. “I think they'd rather have something reminding them of me than a couple's thing you know?”

Something had made the dazzling effect in her eyes dull. Her smile faded almost instantly as she locked her orbs onto the delicate items in her hands. “Aniyo.” Seohyun mumbled. Quickly, she turned her back to me and placed the pair of fish away. “It's okay unnie.” Her voice was soft now. “I-I already bought them Christmas presents.” She stuttered, her eyes locking onto mine before she suddenly beamed again.

My lips pursed involuntarily at her words. She was lying. Maybe she didn't even buy them a gift yet. She's like this when the topic of parents come up. Trying to quickly cover up my deep thought and long stare towards her, I glanced back at the pair of fish. “Are you sure? I can buy them for you if you want.” I offered with a generous smile.

Seohyun shook her head without even a second though. “Aniyo unnie. I already bought them a gift.” Her voice was more confident now, but I was still unconvinced.

I didn't want to argue though. Not before Christmas. So I nodded my head and glanced down at the doe. “Arasso. I'll just buy this then.” My hands presented the doe again, to which she responded with a giggle. I have to figure out why she's like this.

We wandered the mall silently. I held the small bag with the doe inside it loosely by the handle loops. It swayed in sync with my steps as I made sure not to bump it against anything. The whole while, my eyes constantly flickered towards the quiet Seohyun, only peeling my eyes off of her when I was passing by somebody. I had to fix the problem. I had to make her happy again. I had to get to the bottom of this.

“Seohyun-ah.” I called out. She glanced over to me, only to look forward when she had to squeeze between a couple people. “Do you have to go home soon?” My head tilted innocently towards her.

Making our way towards an empty spot near the corner of the mall, Seohyun finally stopped walking and looked at me in the eyes. “Aniyo unnie. I was dropped off by my driver.” There it was again, that very fake smile. “I told him that I'd call him when we were done here.”

I shooed the space between us. “Ah, you don't have to call him. I can take you home. Is that okay with you?” Was it selfish of me to only say those words so that I could have more time with her?

Her eyebrows raised slightly before she nodded. “Neh. That's fine with me.” She beamed. At least that smile seemed more believable than the last one. “Can I go call him first?”

With a smile, I nodded and shooed her away to go make the phone call. She turned her back to me and took a few steps away to distance us. I watched as she pushed the buttons on her cell phone and then talk to the person on the other end. She then searched through her wallet and pulled out what seemed to be the home key before nodding and tucking it away again. It wasn't long after that until she put her phone away and came back with a smile on her face. “Alright.”

“Great.” I nodded approvingly. “I was wondering if you'd want to go shopping with me now.” Only a puzzled look sprawled across her features. Just before she could say anything, I grinned and explained, “You can't buy the thing here. So, would it be okay if we stopped by the other place before I took you home?” Subconsciously my hand stuck out for her to take.

Seohyun looked at me with an unsure expression. It was obvious that she wasn't pleased with my broad explanation, but that was all my plan. Slowly, her lips pursed before she finally nodded. A hesitant, “Neh.” escaped from her lips as she glanced at my hand and gently took it. She locked her eyes on mine as I just grinned like an idiot. “I trust you, unnie.”

I parked my old junker of a car in the parking lot before shutting off the engine and glancing over at Seohyun. “We're here.” I beamed.

My confused passenger looked outside the car window only to look back at me again. “Where...where are we unnie?” Her eyebrows were scrunched together in a line as she waited for an answer.

A chuckle escaped my lips as I opened the car door. “My favorite place in the world.” I uttered before stepping out and stretching. The smell of freshly cooked street food filled my nostrils as I sighed happily.

Hesitantly stepping out, Seohyun closed her door and looked around. Oh how much confusion was written on her face. “Your favorite place is the...street market?” Her confused eyes settled on me as I locked my car and rounded the heap of metal to take her hand. My heart ready to explode in my chest because of our skin ship.

“Yup!” I answered happily, leading her towards the massive stands that housed everything from clothing to collectibles to my personal favorite; food!

Our time there was nothing close to boring. I was showing Seohyun all the little toys and collectibles that were meant for people of all ages. We ate the street food, which she loved, and were completely captivated with the clothing and accessories out for display. It wasn't long for our hands to be filled with countless bags. Now, this felt like a shopping day.

After our run through the entire market, it was time to make our way back to my car. My arms were gonna fall off if we had to make another stop! Packing everything into the trunk of my car, I slammed the trunk shut, although it didn't really click close. To make sure it was completely closed I sat on top, grinning when I heard the reassuring sound. “So, what do you think of my favorite place?” I beamed happily. Not once did she ever seem sad like how she was in the mall.

“I like it unnie.” Seohyun smiled widely. That...was a genuine smile, my friend. She then looked at the trunk and stared at it as if she were checking the contents with x-ray vision. “Something's bothering me though.” Her head lifted to look at me in the eyes.

I held my breath for a moment. Was she going to finally tell me what it was that always got her upset? Only one way to find out. “Which is?” I tried not to sound too eager for an answer, but curse my betraying voice.

Seohyun giggled softly. “Back at the mall you sounded like you were really eager to buy something, but unnie the only thing you were rushing to buy was the food that the street vendors were cooking.” She covered cutely as more giggles slipped through her lips. “Is that really what you were excited in buying?”

It wasn't until I tried to say something did I realize that my jaw had dropped. A soft chuckle erupted from me as my lips curved upwards into a smile. “Well I-” My mouth quickly shut. I had nothing to say! “It's just that-” Nope, try again. “I actually was gonna buy something from here.” I hopped off the trunk of my car and patted Seohyun's head without a second thought. It wasn't until I retrieved my hand did I finally feel my heart slightly racing in my chest. “Thanks for reminding me Seo. Let's go. I know exactly where it is too.”

Without a second thought, I grabbed her hand and lead her back into the street market, this time weaving through the traffic and not stopping for all the cute things we had once saw earlier. Eventually we stopped at one of the vendors that displayed many different types of fruits and vegetables. “Annyeonghaeseyo ahjumma.” I greeted with a 90 degree bow. From the corner of my eye I could see that Seohyun had done the same thing.

From the way the ahjumma's face brightened when she saw me, I knew she remembered who I was. “Ah, Yoona. What can I help you with today?” She smiled warmly at me before glancing over at Seohyun. “Oh, and you brought a friend.” Her smile widened.

My cheeks burned lightly at the mention of my crush. “I'd like a whole box of goguma please.” I giggled happily as I glanced over at Seohyun. Her eyes were wide as she settled them onto me.

Apparently the ahjumma was doing the same thing. She took a while to answer me with, “Yoona, I know I'm not young anymore, but did I hear you right? Do you want a whole box of goguma?” With that I just happily nodded. Eventually the ahjumma nodded slowly and turned to the much younger girl behind her stand. “Well, you heard her. A whole box of goguma.” The younger girl nodded and began to quickly get my order ready.

In an instant I took out my wallet and pulled out the remaining wad of money I had left. “So how much will that be ahjumma?” I grinned like an idiot while waiting for her response. Thankfully, constantly buying from this woman has paid off as she gave it to me for half price. After the transaction, the younger worker came over to the table and set the heavy looking box on top. “Gamsahamnida ahjumma.” I bowed and took the box before finally marching off with it towards my car. From the corner of my eye I noticed the many stares that I was getting for lugging around such a hard to miss object. However, it was Seohyun's longing stare for the food that made me smile. I knew she wanted them. Goguma was her favorite.

Finally pulling into Seohyun's driveway, I shut off the engine again and huffed out an exhausted breath. “We're finally done shopping for today.” I chuckled giving her a smile. She glanced over to me with a grin and a nod. Her features were perfect, but there it was again, that fake smile. However, this time I noticed that she was the saddest she was all day. Especially when she stared back at her gigantic house.

Our day was done now, I have to figure out what the problem is. Seeing her sad face was slowly breaking my heart. I want to see your smile Seo. I want to hear you laugh like you have nothing to worry about. I want you back to your normal self. “Seohyun.” I called out, my voice now serious.

My crush looked to me curiously. “Neh unnie?” Her eyes glistened, but only because they looked like she was about to cry again. Something was up now. This much I knew of.

I wanted to reach over and caress her face. I wanted to look deep in her eyes and have her confess to me what was wrong. I wanted to give her a kiss...in hopes to make everything better. Aniyo. I know I can't do that. We're just friends. Nothing more. “You seem really down. Is something wrong?” I questioned. My eyes looked deeply into hers. I wanted an answer, an honest answer.

Her eyebrows rose slightly before she shook her head. “Aniyo. I'm fine unnie.” She smirked and got out of the car quickly. I found it as just an excuse to not look at me. We both knew that if she saw how concerned I was over her, then she'd tell me everything.

Slowly, I followed suit and opened the trunk that held all the things we had bought, even the box of goguma. “Here, I'll help bring your things in the house.” I offered as I grabbed some of her bags.

“A-Aniyo.” Seohyun quickly responded, snatching the bags by the handles. “I-I've got it unnie. You don't have to come in.” She gave me a reassuring smile, but no way was I believing it. Still, she managed to grab all of her bags and waddled away from my car so that I could slam the trunk shut. “Thanks for today unnie. I really enjoyed it.” Her head bowed down slightly as she began to hurry to the front door. Little did she know, she didn't grab everything that was hers.

My lips pursed slightly as I watched her scurry away. “You forgot something Seo.” I called out just as she opened the front door. Slowly she turned around to look at me in confusion. Before she could protest, I pulled out the box of goguma from the trunk and carried it towards her. “I bought this for you. Consider this as my Christmas present. And I wouldn't want the maknae to suffer with this heavy thing so I think I'll bring this inside for you.” I grinned triumphantly just as I passed her to step into the house.

It wasn't long until I felt the empty atmosphere. I stood just a few steps into the house, and already I felt as lonely as I've ever been in my entire life. All the lights were off and nothing but gloom filled the air. There were no hired servants to help with our bags, there weren't even Seohyun's parents there to greet me. It was empty...and Seohyun knew that. From behind me I heard my crush shuffle into the house and close the door. With a quick flip of a switch, many lights to reveal the lonely living room. There wasn't a Christmas tree with lights, no mountain of presents, not even a single ribbon hung to make the space festive. It was lonely.

“You can put that in the kitchen.” A quiet voice chirped to me. Raising my head, did I finally spot Seohyun already pointing down the hallway that lead to the room full of food. “You can let yourself out after that.” She mumbled. Her back was to me and she seemed so weak with her head hung low. I've never seen her like this...ever. Slowly, Seohyun made her way upstairs and into her room.

The click of her bedroom door finally snapped me back into reality. I strolled through the living room, taking a long look at how empty it was despite all the fancy furniture. Eventually I made it into the kitchen and set the box of goguma in a place that wasn't in the way yet not easy to miss. There was no one here. Absolutely no one. The usual maids and butlers that would wander the house were completely gone. The home chef was no where to be found either. Even the lingering driver was missing as well. It was completely spine chillingly lonely.

Wandering back into the living room, I found it best to wait for Seohyun to walk me out. At least I can attempt to make her happy a final time before I have to go. My eyes settled on her bedroom door, waiting for her to come out. I don't care how long it'll take for her to come out...I'll wait. The minutes passed and even so, I was still there waiting for her. If I had to, I'll wait till Christmas, even longer! I want her to know that I'll be there for her when she's ready. I'll always be there for her.

About 15 minutes since she disappeared into her room did Seohyun finally step out. I wasn't able to see any tear trails from where I was standing, but I was able to see her shocked expression. “Unnie, what are you still doing here?” Her voice was composed. She elegantly fluttered down the stairs and stopped a good distance away from me. “I thought you would have gone home by now.”

I studied her face and found that even though she didn't have any tear trails, her eyes were red and puffy. That explains why she took a while to come out, she didn't want me to see her crying. “Seo. What's going on here? Where is everybody? Where's the Christmas tree? Where's all the presents? And where are your parents?”

Her lips pursed gently as she looked away from me. I didn't mean to bombard her with all the questions. I just really wanted to know. Seohyun locked her puffy eyes onto me before letting out a soft breath. “Unnie...I don't...celebrate Christmas.” She confessed, peeling her eyes off of me again.

My eyebrows rose. “You don't?” Well that explains the absence of the tree and presents, but it doesn't explain why none of their house's hired workers aren't here. Not even her parents.

Her head shook, not even bothering to look into my eyes when she was done.

I didn't really know how to respond to that. Would me asking for more information be too much? Would I be crossing the line if I were being nosey? “Err, then don't consider the goguma as a Christmas present.” I chuckled weakly. Finally, I figured it was best to just ask what question was in my head. “If you don't celebrate Christmas, then what do you celebrate?”

Again she shook her head. A gentle sigh escaping from her lips. “You don't understand.” She muttered turning her head away from me.

Now I knew she didn't want to confess the meaning to this. I had to keep asking or she'll still be this sad and depressed girl during the holidays. After all, the other part of my mission was to fix whatever was wrong. “Then tell me Seo. Tell me so that I do understand.” I pressed on.

Seohyun hesitated for a moment. It was as if she were contemplating with whether or not she should tell me. Tell me the truth Seo. I'm not leaving until I get an answer. She took a deep breath and looked at me right in the eyes. “I don't celebrate Christmas because...”

“I have no one to celebrate it with.”

The room was quiet as I let her words register in my head. So did that mean that she'd spend every Christmas here by herself? With no one here to accompany her? That explains all the times when I would want to come over, but she'd refuse me and the others to drop by. It explains why every holiday season she'd be quiet and invisible to the world. It explains why she didn't want to buy the Koi fish from the store in the mall. It also explains why she would look like the loneliest girl in the world.

When her eyes shifted away from me did I finally lose control of my body. I don't know what had gotten into me, but I stepped up to her and wrapped my arms tight around her. At first, Seohyun stiffened in my embrace, but slowly she relaxed and rested her head on my shoulder. One of my hands combed her hair gently as the other rubbed her back comfortingly. “I never knew Seo. Why didn't you ever tell me or the others about this?”

My crush took a moment to respond as she sounded like she was choking back any tears. “I didn't want anyone to know. Can you just imagine what the other unnies would think if I told them? How could someone like me not afford someone to spend Christmas with? They'd pity me, and that's the last thing I'd ever want, unnie.”

I felt my head rest gently against her. Where was all of this coming from? It wasn't until I felt her snuggle into the crook of my neck did I finally realize that it was my heart that was controlling me. It was doing every little action that I would never have dared myself to do in my right state of mind. I hesitated with an answer as my beating organ tried to conjure up something to say. “Seohyun. I think you've got it all wrong. Sure they'd feel bad, but I don't think they'd ever say that stuff about you. You're our maknae and we all love you.” Again my heart took control as it tried to force me to do something I'd never have the courage to do. It wanted me to kiss her! I felt that betraying organ beat in overdrive as it so desperately wanted me to rest my lips against hers. Aniyo! I'm not going to do it! I knew that if I distracted myself, then maybe I could get control of my body again. “Seo, why are you here all by yourself anyways?”

Inside my chest that crazy heart of mine slowly started to compose itself as we waited for an answer. “My parents always let the maids and butlers go home around the middle of December to spend the holidays with their family. I can only get a hold of my driver, but even then I don't really want to burden him since his house is pretty far from where I live.” She paused for a moment, a gentle sigh tingling my neck. “Umma and appa are always on business trips out of the country so that the business won't suffer during the holidays.” Again she paused. “That leaves me here by myself for a whole month.”

Hearing those words and knowing those facts made my heart cringe. How could anyone bare the loneliness? Staying in a big house for a whole month without anyone there is sad. No, not anymore. I have to fix this. “Seohyun. I don't know how many years your Christmas has been like this, but I want to change it.” Slowly her head lifted so that she could stare at me right in the eyes. I saw a few tear trails and subconsciously I reached up to wipe them away. “How about from now on, you come to my house every Christmas? I can always ask my appa and umma if you can stay. I'm sure they'd say yes if they know that you're here by yourself. How does that sound?” I gave a reassuring smile, hoping she'd agree to the plan.

Seohyun's lips quivered slowly into a smile. “Jinja?” I nodded to her happily. “That sounds like a great idea unnie!” Her arms wrapped behind my neck as she hugged me tightly. “Gamsahamnida unnie.” She whispered in my ear.

My lips rose to a smile from her gentle words. Slowly she pulled back and looked at me right in my eyes. Inside my chest I could tell that my heart was racing. There it goes again, trying to control my body. It wanted me to press my lips on hers, to show her just how much I love her. It wanted me to let her know just how much she meant to me. My arms around her waist squeezed her lovingly, our eyes never shifting away. Involuntarily I leaned in. Should I stop myself from doing what my heart wants to do?

I don't plan on it.

N/A: Hello readers! I'm sorry that it took me so long to update this! I know, I know, I was supposed to finish this while it's still hoiday season. Now, holiday season is over. Gah. I fail! I've just been so obsessed with SNSD's comeback that I actually stay up late and watch the live streams of them! I'm then brain dead from all the sleep deprivation so yeah. Mianhae! But! Here's the chapter! I'm already working on the other two pairs. Chapter hopping is such a bad habit. I should really stop doing that. x_x Anyways, let me know what you think okay? ^^

-Jeo