Donghae shuffled backwards as I screamed into his face, the tears falling like rainfalls. 

His eyes widened in surprise.

I couldn't blame him.

I knew I was a sight, with tears running down, screaming when I was quiet just a while ago.

 

 

But I was tired.

I didn't understand why, how this could even happen.

Didnt he remember anything?

 

 

"Hyukjae. Please. Get over it. If it was love, do you think I would have.." his voice trailed off but I already knew what he was about to say.

 

I stared at the heartless bastard infront of me, he was looking at the floor and for once, I was glad that he had looked away.

I was worried about what I'll be seeing in those eyes I once loved.

 

"Get over it?" my voice was a whisper, but it was filled with so much hatred and despair- feelings I thought I wouldn never have the chance to feel for Donghae. 

" you, donghae. you. It might have been words for you. But for a minute, can't you just think, of how I actually believed you, clung on to your words. We've worked it out for god sake, our future, our everything. And you're telling me it's nothing?! I was ready to spend a lifetime with you. And even if I was born again, I would still choose you. How can I "get over it" when you made it all sound convincing. 

We've been together for more than two years. Tell me. How the do I get over it when all my thoughts were always filled of you."

 

Donghae looked up and flinched as I glared at him through tears that never seemed to stop as my chest raised and fell, the emotions driving me wild.

 

"Y-You can." Donghae said, his voice stumbled with desperation, trying to make me understand. "J-just get another girl. S-s-ena? Just try, Hyuk. Please. We can pretend like this never happened. Eunhae can still go on. Please, Hyukjae. You're still my Bestfriend and you will always be. Yes, we might have planned the future together. But lets be realistic here. We're both men, Hyukjae. You'll fall in love with another woman, I swear. T-this is just a phase. You'll get over it, Hyuk. You'll forget everything once you've finally me-"

 

The sound of the loud slap echoed through the room.

How dare... 

How dare he made fun of my feelings.

 

Donghae put a hand on the reddening cheek, his eyes filled with tears of pain from the slap.

 

 

"So you're trying to tell me it's wrong to love a person of the same ? You're trying to tell me that all this while you thought what we had was a ing joke one could just forget? You think that ing another girl would make it all okay? You're such a ing low-life, Lee Donghae." I snarled at the other man, wanting to cause the same pain he caused me.

 

The silence filled the air again.

 

"I'm going." he finally said, his voice filled with exhaustion and defeat, as he walked past me like I was nothing.

 

No...No! 

This must be some huge nightmare.

 

I did the first thing that came to my mind as I saw his back getting further, away from me.

I ran and hugged his back, closing my eyes shut, willing for all this to go away.

 

I felt him stop and I tightened my arms around him as I inhaled the smell of the person I love.

 

"Hyukjae."

 

"NO! Donghae! Please! I'll change! I swear! Just tell me and i'll change! Please! I'm sorry I slapped you. Please! I'll slap myself as many times as you want, Hae. P-P-Please. You can't do this. I love you, Hae. My heart, my body, my soul. I only live for you. Please, Hae. Please, don't do this to me." I begged as I wailed into his back that had once filled me with security.

 

It was pathetic but..

I love this man. 

Even if he..

Even if he said all those words, I'm willing to forgive him.

Even if he had cheated on me..

Even if my heart is on fire and as my lips dry...

Even if I am born again, it will still be him.

Even if he said its too late, it's only him to me.

I can't give up.

I can't let him go.

I was too deep in love with Lee Donghae, my Bestfriend, my bandmate, my lover, my..everything.

I can't "get over it".

And I don't want to.

 

 

"Hyukjae.." He placed his hands on top of mine. 

 

"Please,Hae." I begged, whispering, my voice husky from the crying, the screaming, the emotional turmoil I was in.

 

I felt his hands grab my hands slightly.

.....only to pry them away.

 

 

 

That was when...

I knew everything was really over. No matter what he said, I knew we couldn't be the same anymore. 

And as my heart broke whole and finally, into small little pieces so that noone could ever mend them back... 

I knew.

I knew that when he pried my hands away- and when they fell to my side dejectedly.

I knew that Lee Hyukjae was dead.

 

-------------------------------

It's so hard doing this on my phone. This is my second time writing it because my phone crashed. Sigh. 

But here you go, your update!