I sighed as the snowflakes fell in thick clouds outside the train window. Not those flakes that fell on really cold days, but those that looked like big and depressed cotton balls. Just like I felt. My suit had become all wet and my socks  were soaked. The train smelled of sweat and cheap perfume, the two scents I had to endure every morning on my way to work. Work… another reason to wonder if there was a god. The work as a teacher in music history at the university wasn’t that bad though. But still, who likes work, honestly? I took off my glasses and wiped off the snow. As I did that, the train stopped and the doors opened, three young boys sat down at the seats around me. Chit-chatting so high that I almost got deaf.

- Joonhye! Did you do the maths homework? One of the boys called out, his voice still not deep enough to call a man’s, but obviously deeper than a boy’s.

- yah! Isn’t you supposed to be the oldest and responsible one Kibum? The other boy laughed.

I sighed again and put on my glasses. I didn’t even know why I did that, there was nothing I wanted to see anyway. I looked up at the boys around me. Nice uniforms, they probably went to a good school, nice haircuts, nice shoes. Those boys that would work at an office when they grew up, just like their fathers already did.

- I’m a year after, so it doesn’t count, the boy named Kibum told his friend.

I looked at the boy who just had talked. Black hair, high cheekbones, pretty beautiful. We locked eyes for a second. He stared at me intense for five or more seconds, why did he stare? Weird guy. I looked away, focusing on the snow outside the window. Then, in the corner of my eye, I saw how his jaw dropped and he blinked repeatedly. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised.

- Excuse me? I asked and gave up a small laugh.

- J- Jong… Jonghyun, He stuttered, I couldn’t tell if he was happy or sad.

-Yeah... How? How did you know?

- Don’t you remember me?! He asked, still too surprised to show any other emotion.

- No I’m sorry… have we met before?

-Five years ago, I’m Key! He said excitedly, smiling whilst pointing at himself.

- Hey Kibum, what are you talking about? Key? His friends called out.

Then I remembered, the guy at the “hotel”.

- Oh my god, I whispered.

- This is so weird… he whispered.

I couldn’t understand how the thin boy with the black bird nest to hair had become this beautiful young man. He was probably twenty now, time passes quickly. And time is good to some. He had used my money well at least. We just sat there and neither one of us could say a word. I didn’t realize that Key’s friend went off the train and neither did he. I just looked at him. And I was so happy. I don’t know who of us that raised up first. But we took each other’s hands and went off the train. The snow didn’t feel as cold anymore.

- I see you used my money well Key, I smiled with bright eyes.

- Yeah, he smiled back at me, as soon as I woke up that morning I jumped out of the window and left for the train station. Luckily, I was able to find my uncle here and he took me in since he’s got a good work and no other family, he explained with a shrug on his shoulder.

 I hugged his hand a bit harder. He looked at me a bit surprised, but still smiling.

-And what are you up to? He asked, as if he really wanted to know.

- Oh… well, I work as a professor in music history at the university here. Apart from that, not much.

We walked through what must have been the whole town, still holding hands, I didn’t know why but I felt that letting go wasn’t a choice. Our conversation went on, much had happened in five years, and I felt that I wanted to know all about this special boy. When school, family and work was subjects we could leave behind, we just kept talking as if we had been best friends since we first met. People and snowflakes passed us, to destinations we’d never get to know but I didn’t even bother to look at the world around me right now. I had probably never talked to a person this long before; hours must have passed when I saw that Key started to shiver and that the sky had become pink. The sun was setting and the snowfall increased. It wasn’t dangerously late, it got dark early these days. The darkness made it colder though.

- Oh god! You should have told me that you were freezing, I said.

- Ah, no it’s okay, he tried to smile but I could see that he was really cold.

- School uniforms weren’t made for hour-long walks around town.

- Well… if you think it’s okay, I said and scratched my neck, we could go to my place, if you want to I mean…

- That would be great, he said and a real smile appeared on his face.

It wasn’t a far walk to my place. And since Key took my hand again, we both got warm again quickly.

It was hard to explain who Key was. At first, just an ordinary boy, good looking with a great personality. But I knew that there was more, stuff that I didn’t know about, maybe stuff I didn’t want to know about.

Oh take that back.

 I wanted to know everything about this creature. If every snowflake was unique, then Key was the snowflake that shimmered much brighter than everything else. Caught the sun’s rays and reflected them thousand fold.

I was pretty romantic I realized. But at the same time, did I really love him? I had never felt this way before. It just felt like everything was good when I was with Key. Like there were no problems whatsoever. I had felt it last time, like my problems disappeared in his light, and this time, there was no doubt about it.

I was thirty. He was twenty. I tried to face the scenario my parents wanted; me finding a wife, getting a family. But I couldn’t bear myself to do it. Even though my family wasn’t aware of the fact that I didn’t “fancy girls”, I sometimes thought that they could be right. I wanted a family. Which I could never have with a man. And the chance that Key would like me too, was one in a million, I was just an old father figure in his old memories.

 I looked at him. Cheeks rosy from the walk and cold. His black jacket becoming shattered with small snowflakes. He looked at me, catching me looking at him, and then turned his head away quickly. A blush spread over his cheeks and I felt butterflies of happiness flutter in my stomach. My thoughts about wives from before shrinking to the size of snowflakes in the back of my head.

I opened the door to my apartment, a small flat with two rooms and a kitchen.  Key strutted inside, letting go of my hand. I took of my jacket and he followed my example. We walked into the kitchen and I brew a cup of tea for us. He sat down at the table and looked out at the snowflakes falling to the ground far down.

- What are you thinking about? I asked.

- I wondered if there’s a meaning with this, he said, still looking out the window.

- With this?, I said and felt how I began to smile like crazy - Hoping to receive the answer I was wishing for.

- With meeting you again after five years, on a snowy day, like this, he smiled and looked shyly at me.

I turned around, the water had begun boiling. I didn’t answer him. I took the cups with water and placed one where I was supposed to sit and went around the table to give Key his cup. As I put it down, he turned his head upwards and looked into my eyes. And I could only feel that all this had to have a meaning. People weren’t as perfect as him without a meaning. He was my meaning. I didn’t realize what I was doing until I found myself tasting his smooth lips, my hand against his cold cheeks.

- You’re really beautiful, I whispered.

He was too good to be true.

- Why don’t we just stay like this? I said, not really asking, we could stay like this forever, have babies and a dog. Live together and grow old. Like those couples on TV, it would be wonderful, don’t you think?

 I could keep going forever.

Key’s eyes suddenly turned away from mine, he mumbled something and stood up.

- Hey!? What’s the matter? I asked surprised.

He didn’t listen though, he went out in the hall. Putting on his shoes, not bothering to even glimpse at me. I ran up to him, bending down, facing him from under.

- Don’t say it like that, Key turned around, I- I can’t! He hurriedly ran out of my apartment.

I fell to the floor, too shocked to do anything as the door slammed shut with a bang.

 

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A/N Hello there people! ^^ 
I'm so happy that some people acctually seems to like my story! You see, I love writing but I've never really shown my stories to anyone... So this is a first. 
Anyways! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter, more are to come soon. As said, the whole story is pretty much written already. I just want to edit it a bit before publicating it ^^ 
I just have three days left in school until winter holidays so I'll probably post a lot during the following weeks!

Kisses and hugs <3 / Kiikimi