It’s Fate that Playing with us
Story by: celestineblue ^-^
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/evelyn_blue3
Reviewed by Ruwee @ www.withering-memories.violinstar.net

Title: 4/5

[It’s Fate that Playing with us] Overall, I do think your title fits the story. It’s just that something is grammatically wrong. It would be better if it’s entitled: It’s Fate That’s Playing with Us? Aside from that, all’s well.

Forewords: 12/15

Your Foreword’s concise. You did include the flashbacks when Ri In and Yoochun were still together and how she met Junsu. You did include too Ri In’s doubt about Yunho’s love for Yoona and how she thinks that Yunho’s just using Yoona to replace Tiffany, but something’s missing. It must be the feel. Your Foreword is rather suspenseful, keeping your readers curious as to what your story has to offer, but I figured that maybe you really did want it to be like that, but it kept me in suspense too, so yeah, haha.

Plot: 9/15

I don’t know why, but it must be really hard to love someone again right after you’ve been left by someone who you vow you love deeply. I love how you made Ri In, as a friend to all of them, so caring. She possesses this pessimistic attitude, yet she makes it a deal to analyze what situation they’re really in. She’s a hard thinker; I must say, and maybe, overall, out of all your characters I loved Ri In the most, haha. ^^

But wait! Somehow umm, the flashbacks and the present state quite confused me. I mean it kind of confused me whether or not Junsu and Yoona are married already or are they just engaged or something?

Like this:

“Since day one of their marriage, Junsu had often get himself involved in almost all Jang Holdings’ business affairs. It really does bother him to see Ri In asleep on the document file after dropping a signature on it in the middle of the night.”

- quoted from the first paragraph of your Chapter 4.

And then later on, Yunho’s father says: “At this moment, you should be accompanying Yoona in preparing for the wedding and not stick your nose with some sort of small matters. Jessica could handle those little things”


And isn’t it that Yunho and Junsu are brothers? But why do they have different family names? Is it because they have different fathers or something? EHE.

I’m just quite confused, do enlighten me and reply back to me thru the WM’s site.

Originality: 10/10

I know there are some common stories in Winglin about being left and then loving again, but yours is different. That click as to when I get attached to stories just occurred like that. You, as a writer, managed to leave a deep impression on me, as a writer and a reviewer. For me, it’s kind of maybe rare to encounter such stories like this, considering that I only exclusively limit myself to being obsessed in one pairing, but you made me have a taste of a different one and made me really want to change my perspective of sticking to only one couple.

I really loved how you ended it. I originally thought something tragic would happen. Thus, Yunho will return to Tiffany’s side. And it pained me as well to hear Junsu saying and agreeing to the divorce just because he was all fired up, and then you came up with a very brilliant ending. I didn’t see it coming that Ri In is pregnant too, but you did it as that, and I’m glad.

You simply really did get yourself attached in the story too. Plus, you made it to your very own. ^^

Style of Writing: 13/15

For one, you don’t use the well-known ‘script format’, which I despise. Well, unless the story’s real good, haha. But in the format you’re using, I like it because you can express yourself freely with it through the details and descriptiveness of every paragraph you make.

Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation: 11/15

Somehow, some words are used wrongly, really, but still I’m able to understand it correctly. Just a side note, though: You really should practice your grammar. ^^ EHE. You make great plots, so the only thing missing is in this part.

Descriptiveness: 9/10

I love how you describe each detail satisfactorily. I, myself, could clearly imagine your characters every doing (how they laugh, how their expressions saddens, and the very like). Only that you need some work on your grammar just so everything would fit the way your readers want it to be, hehe. Aside from that, again I love how you describe the scenes satisfactorily and how easily I grasp to see clearly in my mind and imagine whatever your characters are doing.

Overall Appearance: 9/10

Seems like you made your poster, isn’t it? It does suit the mood, so a minus one for this category.

Creativity/Bonus: 5/5

You did reply with some of your readers comments. Plus, you did your own poster. ^^ And hey! I have this feeling that you’ve turned me into a fan of your couplings, aha. I never imagined that anyone in DBSK would look good to Jang Ri In or even SNSD’s Im Yoona, haha. I guess I was wrong, and then your story came along. :) I really loved your story, really. I just had to say it. I had a fun time reading it with all of its twists. I don’t know too how you managed to fit them in only 5 chapters, but really you’re so good.

Total: 82/100