Chapter 1: Memories.

A 17 years old boy sits alone in the bus. He looks outside as his iPod plays his favorite song. It’s a warm first day of spring. He can see flowers everywhere. He stares outside the window, even though his mind is slowly drifting somewhere else.

He can’t stop thinking of the dream he had last night.

Or rather, the dream made him think of the past.

A memory that seems just like a dream.

Ever since he entered middle school, he had forgotten completely about that memory.

But for some reason, it always comes back during the spring, the dream.

It’s bringing back a memory he thought he had forgotten.

A memory he wanted to forget and still wants to forget.

~~~~

It was a memory, like many other memories, but this one is a memory that I can't seem to forget, I can't let it out of my head, I can't let it go. Every time when the spring arrives, the butterflies fly around everywhere and buds are blooming into beautiful flowers, I always, always think about that day. The day that I went to that forest taking a walk by myself. A forest I won't ever forget. A place I will never forget. Yet I'll never return to it again.

~~~~

It was the place where I went to as a 12-years kid. I used to go to my grandma's house that was near the forest. Everyone told me to not go to that forest, because it was dangerous. But when did I ever listen to them? I used to be a kid who didn't care about anyone, no matter what they said or what they did, I just ignored them. I wasn't planning on going to that forest since I didn't really like forests, but this one was special. When I saw it, it just lured me into it, I wanted to see the beauty behind it. I felt that if I went there, something amazing would happen. And it was like that. Something special and amazing, yet heartbreaking happened.

Everyone was busy, so I decided to sneak into the forest before someone could see me get away. I walked on a path leading to the forest. It looked normal from afar, but soon enough I discovered it wasn't normal at all.

When I entered the forest, it suddenly gave a different feeling than the surrounding. It was a forest that looked like a fairytale forest. It was so pretty. I felt a warm, happy feeling in my heart and body. It was so special, I never felt it before. I walked further in the forest and saw a hundreds of butterflies, little bird and bees flying and playing around. There where all kind of different rodents. Some running in the trees, some playing on the ground. Every tree was lighted by the sun light. And all the flowers were fully bloomed.

When I walked further, I came to a place where I was surrounded by millions of flowers and thousands of butterflies. It was nothing compared to the part I just left. It was so beautiful, so pretty... So sad. I felt sadness? I tried to smile, because I was happy to be here, but sadness overflowed. I didn't know yet why, but it was a feeling, that even after so many years, I never felt it in another place again. Thought I didn't know yet why at that time, I know now. A couple of years ago I hated the fact that I came there, that I entered that place that I had to make that memory. But not anymore, because of that I could meet you. The beautiful you.

I reached a poorly looking house, even though it was surrounded by beautiful flowers. The house also looked cute. But it gave a poor, lonely feeling off. I felt that the house wasn't what it seemed. I wondered if I should enter the house, or knock on the door. After 5 minutes I decided to follow my intuition and walked toward the door. Luckily I did, since I can't imagine how my world would be if I didn't. Would you... still be there?

I knocked on the door but nobody came, so I decided to just leave. I was too scared to just go inside. Suddenly the door opened slowly. I walked back to the door but saw nobody. It creeped me out, but ones again, the forest lured me inside. I opened the door wider only to find someone sleeping on a bed of straw a boy around a year of 13 or 14. He looked quite young. He had a cute face for a boy.

I walked closer to the boy and stared at him. I looked at every detail of the boy. Every single detail looked beautiful to me. Every single part was like gold but way more precious. The boy looked gentle and playful but also lonely and sad. I haven't even met him or talked to him, I only saw his sleeping figure and face, yet I already felt all his emotions by just looking at him. It felt just like previously in the forest and also when I reached this house.

A house that is more memorable than the forest itself. That's right it wasn't the forest that I couldn't forget or the animals that played around, it was the house and the boy inside of it. The reason why I couldn't come there anymore was because of him. Because of him, that place doesn't exist anymore. Even though I was planning on coming to that place every time I was going to visit my grandma again. That already changed as soon as I left that forest, because after entering that house, everything changed.

I looked around the room, but there weren't much pieces of furniture. I only saw the bed, a closet, a table with seats and a fireplace. There was also a bookcase with some books and a piano. There weren't much other stuff. There were even just a few book in the bookcase. There was nothing on the table or in the closet, when I looked in it. The boy on the bed suddenly moved. I could see him shiver, so I grabbed his fallen blanket from the floor and put it on his body. The boy suddenly opened his eyes slowly and sat up. I just stepped back, because I was afraid of him being mad at me for entering his house without any permission. The boy stared blankly at me and rubbed his eyes with his right hand and leaned on his left arm. He looked so cute. Even cuter than the bunnies and the deer I saw just now.

"Who are you?" he said with a weak voice.

"I-I-I'm sorry! I entered your house like that! I-I-m sorry!" I bowed to the boy. I was never embarrassed before since I didn't care about other people but this boy made me totally different. He made me care for people and caress them. He made me love people and myself. He made me feel bad toward people, unlike before. He made me feel so many new emotions. So many.

He suddenly giggle.

"I didn't say you had to apologize, it's alright~" He smiled the cutest smile I ever saw in my life. Even now, I didn't found anyone with such a warm, cute and pretty smile. "I only wanted to know your name~"

"I-I-I'm K-Kim M-Minseok-"

"Waaahhh, are you my new friend? Do you wanna be my friend? I haven't seen people for years. How old are you? I'm Luhan by the way~ You're so handsome you know. So cute. I'm so lucky~ I got a visitor~" The boy bounced through the whole room. He looked so happy. He asked a thousand questions at ones, without even letting me answer, but I didn't care. He was so cute like that. My thoughts were right, he was lonely. I knew it, he was so happy. I even heard him say he didn't get any visitors for years, poor thing.

"Seokkie. Thank you~ I'm really grateful toward toward you. Thank you." The last thank you was softer and sadder than the one before. It made my heart feel hurt for a bit but he quickly changed to his hyper, happy self.

We played the whole day together and slowly, we fell in love with each other. Something that he knew that was terrible. I didn't get it back then, but I do now. I understand that he thought it was terrible, but yet I can't seem to feel it yet. I was happy that we fell in love, I don't regret any of it. Because even now, I still love you.

Around dinner time, we walked through the forest, on path besides a beautiful flowing river. Our hands were intertwined and we walked, smiling along the beautiful road. We talked about various things. Like what we liked, disliked, what we should eat tonight and much more things. It was such a small, a very small and humble happiness. I totally forgot about my family and the other world.

After a while we went back to the house. We made dinner and after finishing we just sat on his bed. He was sitting before me and put his head on my shoulder. I just looked at his face, that I already began to love so much. I caressed his face and smiled a small smile to him. I only realized then that he was looking sadly at me. You could see he was holding back the tears. If only I wasn't such an idiot and knew what was wrong. I could have said to him that he shouldn't worry. That I would never forget him. That I will never forget our feelings. But I didn't.

"Don’t cry, Lulu. What's wrong?“He kept his silence, but I couldn't bear letting him feel sad so I kissed him. I gave him a kiss with all my feelings in it. He started to kiss me back and hugged me as I hugged him back. I couldn't help but let my tears fall down. So there we sat. On his bed kissing while we both shed many tears. We kissed for a couple of minutes. I don't know why, but I didn't want to stop it anymore. I guess that I already felt it coming.

Luhan suddenly grabbed a small gold, silver jewelry box out of his closet. It was hidden under his clothes. He walked to me and but the box on the table.

"Minseokkie... Will you stay with me tonight? I feel really weak." He asked me sadly. His voice and face made me also sad. That time was the 3rd or 4th time I felt that strange sadness. But at that time, I didn't know any better. I thought it was nothing and ignored it. Since I was happy, being by Luhan's side. So I stayed. I decided to stay the whole night, sleeping by his side. Although that is what I planned. Until those words reached my heart.

He asked me to lie besides him and he grabbed my hand and intertwined his with mine. I was so happy. He laid his head on my chest and we just enjoyed each other’s presence.

"Seokkie... I love you! I love you... I'll always do. I love you very much." He suddenly said while hugging me tightly. I caressed his face and hair and laughed to him.

"Luhan. I also love you. Very much. I don't want to be without you anymore." When I told him that he started to cry out loud. If I knew it before, I wouldn't have said those things. I would never ever hurt him like that.

"You can't! Please don't say that." I was shocked by his words but I didn't want to see him sad anymore. I kissed him again to stop his sadness but it became worse. After crying for five minutes, he lay down on my body and I kissed his forehead a couple of times.

"Minseok... I'm sorry" he told me.

"It's alright Lulu."

"No it's not. I'm sorry. I love you."

"I know, let's sleep." I just told him. Though I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, I was afraid for hurting him again, so I kept quiet.

"You know... Tomorrow I am no longer."

"What?"

"I love you."

"I know." I kissed his forehead again and after that his cheeks and a small kiss on his lips.

"The thing I took just now. Please keep it with you forever. It's a gift from me, so that you will always remember me. "

"The jewelry box?" he nodded and I wanted to stand up and grab it but he held me back.

"Just do it tomorrow. And will you do something for me. That bunny on the plank. Will you give it to my sister for me?"

"Of course Lulu, I'll do everything for you." And i gave him another peck on his lips.

"Thank you Seokkie. I love you." He kissed me for the last time and closed his eyes.

"I love you too Lu. I really do." That were the last thing I could hear from him and the last thing I could say. I knew he heard me, because I felt his tears. I saw him crying. And I also cried. Because I felt that, when I finished my last sentence, I knew his eyes to the everlasting dreams. To heaven...

The next morning I woke up, I wasn't expecting for Luhan to also wake up... Deep inside my heart, I already knew he wasn't here anymore. I only realized then that Luhan kept on choking yesterday and looked really tired and weak. I felt so bad and sad. I cried the whole morning, next to Luhan's beautiful, unmoving body. If only I could turn back time. Then I would do anything for him to stay by my side. When I walked outside of the house, I realized that everything was death. The flowers. The trees. There were no longer any animals or butterflies. Everything seemed death. I walked emotionless toward the exit of the forest.

"I hate you Luhan. I hate you. Why did you leave me." I almost reached my grandma's house, but I fell on the ground, crying my heart out. My family saw me and hurried toward me. That was the last, but worse time of that sadness.

-end of Memories-