*stabs herself in the eye with a fork*

I really want to all of you k bye.

Thank you for all your support, this fanfiction is basically the worst I've done and I want to stab myself in the stomach with a spoon for that. Thank you so much, really, your comments are just ughhh. 

The second week on the village they had found had been the most amazing week ever. The little abandoned room they had stayed in had a huge patio, and olives colored the boring place with their smell. Although SeHun had disappeared for a few hours, LuHan trusted he would never leave him, but he was left with his own thoughts, and now he was over-thinking -- how they only had a few days left, and how everything will be hell for him after SeHun left. He was asking himself if he'd go sick again. But after hours of desperately looking out the window, SeHun showed up at the door.

"Where were you?"

"Just around." He smiled.

"You can't just 'go around'" he said, now crossing his arms and sitting on the weak mattress on the floor. "I'm really hungry, my stomach is literally roaring."

"You can eat some bananas outside." He smiled.

LuHan frowned, "you know what I've noticed? I've never seen you eating. Is that why you were there? Eating disorder?"

"I don't have an eating disorder, LuHan." SeHun chuckled.

"Why don't you ever tell me anything?" He said.

"Hyung, you never ask."

LuHan chuckled as he tried to put up one concrete thought -- around SeHun, it seemed impossible -- his face was now lying on a soft blanket that was curled into a ball to make a pillow, and SeHun's head was now resting on his chest. It seemed a miracle that they still hadn't been found, it had been thirteen days since they had left, and for some reason, they weren't neither dehydrated or starving; the mere fact that they weren't dying from illness was ing unbelievable. They had survived the cold nights by warming each other up with their embrace, but it was still seemingly possible that the cold could burn their flesh to death.

LuHan was now feeling dependent to SeHun -- the younger always seemed to remember where fruit crops were -- and it was an odd feeling, because LuHan had always been alone, although when he was a teen, he attracted the attention of everyone around him. LuHan enjoyed SeHun's presence, even though he usually enjoyed silence & loneliness. Luhan enjoyed the cold touch of Sehun fingers as they along his skin. SeHun-ah, I know nothing about you. How is it that I'm always feeling so warm around you, and at the same time, so cold? -- 

Three strong bangs on the door were enough to send LuHan into such strong shock that the palms of his hands became numb.

"We have an order, we will use strength if the subject resists."

LuHan looked at SeHun as he mouthed the words "it's over now." with a sick-feeling, oddly, warm smile.

LuHan hadn't noticed the tear he was about to shed. Until he felt warmth running down his cheeks. LuHan responded SeHun's slight head shake by walking towards the door and twisting the knob, after facing three people -- two guys in a blue uniform, pointing at him with long guns, and a nurse with a needle in hand, ready to shoot him at any moment -- and now glancing at the ground.

He felt his heart dropping into the pit of his stomach, and the disappointment had now been fed. He felt like time had now stopped or gone so slowly the hands of the two uniform-wearing men were taking years to stretch. Why are they taking me? LuHan stretched his arm, expecting to grab a hold of SeHun's shirt, but the boy was no longer there -- where could he possibly have run? -- and now his chest ached in anguish, like if a gun was being pressed against his guts so that his lungs burnt and his heart beat faster. LuHan preferred a shot, not a tranquilizer shot, but a gun shot, right on his head, to end with the sudden tingling of burning pain that now covered part of it.

SeHun-ah? His limbs were now caught in the air, expecting to grab a hold of anything, but all he felt was a pinch and then pressure. His body went fully numb before he could mouth one more word, and his eyes were forcefully pressing shut, and now everything was covered by darkness. 

"He was about my tall, and he had brown ha--"

"LuHan, I'm sorry, but there are no fifteen year olds in this clinic." The woman said, cutting off the boy from his words before he could say anything else. "I know it's hard, I can notice you seemed to have a bond with this persona." She placed her hand on top of his, immobile, hand. "The mind plays sick jokes and it's so hard to--"

"He is real." He said, tears falling from the corner of his eyes and into his hair as he eyed the roof. "I... I touched him. I could touch him. He was real. He was--" His voice broke down and his words turned into sobs. He turned his head to the side, burying it into the pillow, and pressed his eyes shut, trying to hold the tears back.

"I'm very sorry, boy." The woman said, "we will be doubling your medicine dozes. But from now--" she began untying the belts off LuHan's wrist, and then the one on his stomach. She then took a wet, cold cloth and put it on his head, then cleaning the tears away. "Just rest." The voice of the woman seemed warm, but he knew nothing would ever cure the cool he felt on his heart.

He had imagined Oh SeHun all this time, and now he remembers -- it was so clear. SeHun knew everything about him, and he always knew how LuHan felt and what he wanted in that moment. The day they escaped, he went through the same halls he had gone through, and the evidence was so clear it made LuHan's chest feel pressured. The tears didn't seem to stop, and LuHan felt completely lost now. He buried his face on the pillow and started yelling his name from the top of his lungs -- he was no longer the person he used to be. He felt like a fail, because he now understood how the evidence was so clear. The first day he said he knew everything about him; he appeared from the blue whenever LuHan wanted him to come. That's it.

LuHan was now picturing SeHun's face, expecting he would come, but there were no responses. The pain LuHan was feeling was something he couldn't handle, it was the most painful thing he'd ever felt. He fell in love with someone, -- not even someone -- a thing he created by himself, but why? He had so many questions and no answers. Right now, all he could do was cry his eyes out as long as he could, hoping sleep would take over him. If there's something good about crying so much, is that it makes you tired.

"Simple," he wrote down LuHan's name with an almost illegible handwriting and looked up at him, "you were scolded here when you were fifteen, right?" LuHan nodded and he spoke again, "your youth was taken by this place," he began to draw thin lines that composed some sort of logo, "and you created an alternative personality--"

"His name is SeHun." He said, his hands placed between his legs and his eyes only on the illegible notes the man was taking. "And he is not an alternative personality, I could touch him, I could feel him. He kissed me."

The man stopped moving his pen and looked up at LuHan, "You created an alternative personality whose youth had been taken." He tangled his fingers from both hands and rested them on his wooden desk, "and created an emotional bond that represents your insecurity."

"Inse- c- curity?"

"Your attraction for the same ," he started, almost too calm and naturally. "You are ually confused and you were experimenting."

"SeHun was not an experiment."

"Young buddy, don't believe you've been the only one that has gone through this. There are endless amounts of human beings that had imagined a persona, from mental patients like you, to completely sane, but with very bright imagination, children." He went back to draw lines down on the page, "you could touch him because of tactile hallucinations." LuHan furrowed his brow as the man continued talking. "You have had auditory hallucinations as a result of your mental disease. Although it's weird, tactile hallucinations often come in sensations on the organs, and they do not collide with visual hallucinations."

LuHan stood up and eyed the man, "SeHun is not an hallucination."

"You can lie to me, but you can't lie to yourself, LuHan." He said, his eyes still on the drawing he had made.

LuHan was now numb and he walked out, making his way to his room. -- After slamming the door shut and pressing the security button, he knew it was over now. He grabbed a black pen and a sheet of paper and started writing, tears falling into the page and slightly affecting the ink. He had given up, completely; without SeHun, it didn't make sense to keep going. He hoped he had gotten better, because he could no longer hear the voices -- but the voices were replaced by something his own brain made up. He had fallen in love with an hallucination.

After writing everything, and putting four individual letters on separate envelopes, he made his way into his bed. He had probably been sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the distance, for about two hours before he moved again, sliding his hand down the pillow and taking out a container full to the top of white pills. There was no pain anymore, only numbness. He grabbed a glass of water from below his bed and took it -- the water was probably dirty, but who gives a crap about that? -- on one hand as he managed to take the cap off the container with the thumb of the other hand.

Without thinking, he drove the container to his mouth and let the pills slide inside it, he felt his throat now piled up, but he kept swallowing, making a few fall but not lessening the pressure. He gulped only half of the glass before driving more and more pills into his mouth, and then more water, until there was nothing left -- neither on the container nor on the glass. 

The tall boy was sitting in front of a table, eyes on his opened laptop as he typed and gulped a glass of water, his thoughts cut off by the sound of the bell ringing.

"Wu YiFan?" The stranger asked, reading a brown-paper-wrapped box that was being held on his forearm. The tall boy nodded and hummed, then the man responded, "this is for you." and stretched his hand to give him the object. "Please sign." The man said, YiFan only nodded and naturally wrote his name down on the paper.

"Thank you, have a nice day." He closed the door shut and went back to his place, now ripping the brown paper and opening the box. Inside, there were a few things he might remember: two necklaces, to halves of a heart -- a present he had given to a friend the week he stayed in Korea -- a book and a letter. YiFan took the letter and read 'To: YiFan Kris.'

He only opened it to recognize his handwriting. 

Kris,

I understand if you want to punch me in the face right now, but please understand me when I say it was useless to stay. I have a mental disease and I've been deprived from freedom, there's no point on staying alive. But don't worry, I would've want to punch myself in the face, too; although, the feeling is mutual: The first day you dropped by, you said you saw that person, -- you're a big fat liar, YiFan Kris -- you didn't. 

I know this will hurt, but please don't be selfish and think of how hurt I am. I will now be free, but don't worry. I promise I will take care of your modeling career from heaven -- if they accept me there. I love you so much, Kris. You are the greatest of friends, and I will be waiting here for you.

The girl fell on her knees as she read the newspaper, and her concerns were now right. That letter she didn't want to open was going to be the death of her. She hadn't seen him in years, and it still hurt how he left her on her own. LuHan was despicable for her, but now all she felt was empathy and petty.

To Made, 

I am sorry for everything I put you through, I was a manipulative piece of crap. I hope by now you have found someone that makes you happier than I ever did -- if I ever did. I had always shown that I was strong, but I've reached my weakest point and I am no longer staying to watch myself fall. During the past three years, I learned more about myself here than ever outside, and I learned how wrong and heartless it was to treat you the way I did, I profoundly apologize. The LuHan you knew has changed, but I rather be this LuHan and hurt myself, than hurting another person the way I hurt you. I will be watching you from heaven, Made. Please don't hang out with stupid people.

Mom, dad,

I've been a bad child. I've broken the rules and I've done everything I used to stand up against to -- I'm sorry. I used to be such a happy and adventurous child, and I don't blame you for everything that happened. If I could've stayed a little longer, it would break me apart. This decision I've made has been the most selfish decision, and I am now completely aware of that, but I can't stay, because it hurts to see how people are getting better and I'm not. Call me a liar but I'm never getting better, even if you make the medicine eight times stronger.

You know my brain and soul will eventually give up and my chances of going back to a normal life are back to zero. Please don't think of me once I'm gone. I only want YiFan (he calls himself Kris now), my nurse and you on my funeral. I will be watching you from heaven and I will wait for you.

The last letter was the shortest, yet the one that seem to radiate the most sadness:

SeHun, I figured out what unicorns and you have in common: Unicorns are only mythological creatures, so they don't exist. I know what you meant now, I wish I would've know earlier. Unicorns don't exist, and so doesn't Oh SeHun.