Lust.

The Patient.

This chapter it's ty, don't hit me.

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Chapter 3.

 

“LuHan… Turn the lights on.”

 

LuHan walked through the cold floor and then ran his hand through the wall in search for the switch, and then pulling it down when he finally found it. He looked around and then glanced at SeHun, widening his eyes in shock as he noticed the very few clothes the boy was wearing. “What is this?”

 

SeHun gave out a seductive smirk and sat at the edge of the bed. “Lust.”

 

“What?”

 

Ride him.” A soft whisper was heard, and LuHan looked at SeHun hoping he was saying it, but his lips weren’t moving, “Ride Him.”

 

LuHan shook his head and pressed his eyes shut, and then stepped back when he opened them and realized SeHun was now too close.

 

“Ride him.”

 

“W- what i-is this?” LuHan asked again, attempting to block the whispers. “SeHun-ah.”

 

SeHun looked at him and placed a hand on his back, driving him closer, and now LuHan’s hand is on his chest, avoiding any more touch.

 

“Ride him.”

 

“SeHun-ah.”

 

“Lu hyung.” SeHun said, his eyes on LuHan’s lips and his fingers twirling on LuHan’s back, his nails now digging on his skin. “I thought it was obvious I liked you.”

 

LuHan widened his eyes and tried to push SeHun further. “SeHun-ah, I’m sorry.”

 

“Ride him.”

 

“Stop.” LuHan said, his eyes pressed shut, feeling anguish as a pressure on his chest. He then looked at SeHun when he felt his hand moving from his back. “I’m sorry.” He said once more before placing his hand on the back of his neck.”

 

SeHun smiled. “Keep fighting.”

 

“What?”

 

“The sane part of you keeps fighting.”

 

“How—?”

 

SeHun smiled and said nothing before climbing on LuHan’s bed, lying on his back. LuHan looked at him, still shocked, eyes widened and fingers shaking, still trying to process what was happening.

 

SeHun was young, innocent and he looked broken. In those seconds, he wasn’t the SeHun he had known, he wasn’t the sweet, innocent SeHun he had been sharing endless nights with for three months. SeHun was different, he had changed, and LuHan was no longer able to recognize him. The pure soul that LuHan once knew was no longer there, and LuHan was now wondering if he had faked it all along or if his possible disease had drove him this way.

 

“SeHun-ah.” LuHan said, walking towards the bed and sitting on the edge of the mattress. “What happened?”

 

“Why do you ask?”

 

LuHan kept his gaze on the ground while SeHun looked at his back. “Why did you do that?”

 

SeHun wasn’t ashamed, or at least that’s what LuHan felt. “I like you a lot, hyung.” He said. “I would’ve kissed you right there but I couldn’t.”

 

LuHan turned his head and looked at him. “You… You c-couldn’t?”

 

SeHun hummed and looked back at the roof. “Something inside me forbids me to do it.” He said. “But I know you would’ve liked it if I did it.”

 

“SeHun-ah.” LuHan complained.

 

He chuckled. “Just sleep, hyung, nothing has changed; I will still like you even if you don’t like me.”

 

LuHan looked at the ground, and started to dig deep into his mind to figure out if the things he was about to say made sense – and something told him they didn’t. “SeHun-ah, I feel like more than liking, I admire you.” He said. “I admire you because, you’ve healed me, and despite being young and broken, you’re somehow free on yourself.” He smiled and shook his head. “SeHun-ah, I really like spending time with you, although I don’t know anything about you.” He chuckled. “I don’t even know why you’re here.”

 

SeHun wasn’t saying a word, and that’s when LuHan realized he was no longer awake. LuHan smiled as he saw SeHun’s angel-like face, his features relaxed and his torso going up and down as he took long, deep breaths. “Maybe I do like you.”

 

-

 

SeHun had changed, he had become silent and serious, he wasn’t the young-like SeHun he had met, in four months he had changed more than he knew – it reminded LuHan of himself; how drastically he used to change between school periods and summers – but LuHan was only grateful he was still visiting him, they saw each other everyday, yet only to find out how much their relationship had changed, and now SeHun was into skin ship, and every time he got close to LuHan, the voices started mumbling and whispering dirty thoughts. What are these things SeHun were provoking on him?

 

On February 14, SeHun showed up with two chains, two halves of a heart; LuHan was just speechless, but he couldn’t hold his smile back, and he couldn’t tape his hands to his own body either, so they ended up wrapped around SeHun’s skinny body. SeHun’s arms were now tensed, and LuHan wasn’t sure if letting go or simply applying less strength, and when he did the second, all SeHun did was hold him, hold him tight.

 

“Hyung, I left a note on your table last night, to tell the nurses to bring you fish cake today.” He smiled, as he led go and began to untangle the two chains.

 

LuHan didn’t know why, but he felt like he had seen those chains before, probably, on a commercial or someone from his school had worn them before. He looked at SeHun in the eye as the boy began to put the chain around LuHan’s neck. LuHan felt electricity as SeHun’s arms touched his shoulders and neck, literally, a spark, and then a ticklish feeling on his stomach.

 

“Do you like it?” SeHun said, his hands now tangled on LuHan’s shirt’s neck fabric.

 

“It’s nice.” He said, gazing the ground and then looking back at SeHun when mouthing his words. “But… Why?”

 

SeHun smiled and then pecked LuHan on the lips, making LuHan clumsily step backwards and almost loosing his balance, in an attempt to process what had just happened. SeHun was back, and he was being different, but somehow LuHan founded warm on his eyes, and now he had noticed, SeHun hadn’t changed, he was just showing LuHan the real him, the cocky, quiet, mature Oh SeHun.

 

LuHan looked at him, feeling his cheeks burning and supposing they were now red, and it was impossible to hide it, and so it was impossible to hide the smile that was leaving his lips, SeHun smiled back and followed LuHan, both walking to the bed and sitting there, facing each other.

 

“Did your mom call you today?” SeHun asked, eyes on the fingers he was running through his pants, the usual black pants with white lines on the sides.

 

LuHan pressed his lips shut and smiled weakly. “No.”

 

“Maybe she’s coming by surprise.” He smiled, his fingers now switching to LuHan’s pants, causing a ticklish feeling within each soft .

 

“That’s exactly what I thought.”

 

The door was opened, and both of the boys looked at the door right away, their eyes following the tall figure as the woman left a tray and a soft smile, before walking out.

 

LuHan happily took the tray and brought it to his lap, and intentionally his lips as he saw the fish cake sticks, before looking back at SeHun. “Are you not eating?”

 

“I already ate.”

 

“More for me I guess.” He smiled.

 

“LuHan.” SeHun said, a soft grin leaving his lips as his eyes followed LuHan, his head bobbing back and forth within each bite. “I know what you feel.” LuHan looked up at SeHun and took a big bite, so he wouldn’t have to talk any more. “I know you like me so… Can we just drop it?” he said, his expressions now serious. “Lu hyung, I really like you, and I really want to kiss you and… Just tell me what you feel.” LuHan looked at SeHun, his mouth still full, and his cheeks now flushing a shade of pink. “I know what you’re thinking, LuHan.”

 

“No you don’t.” LuHan said, spitting his food over SeHun’s yellow shirt and making him chuckle. LuHan pressed his eyes shut and felt his face burning into red from embarrassment.

 

SeHun looked down, running his fingers through his face to get rid of the wastes. “Hyung.” He said, throwing a glare at LuHan and then taking the tray on his hands, before putting it back down on the floor and looking at LuHan once more in the eye. “Die.” He said. SeHun threw himself over LuHan, holding each of his wrists down on the mattress.

 

LuHan chuckled and moved his feet to shrug SeHun off of him, but it seemed impossible. “Get off me.” He laughed.

 

“You spit all over my face.” SeHun said, tangling his feet on LuHan’s so he wouldn’t be able to move them easily.

 

And now their gazes ran into each other, forming and intense connection and that brutally annoying ticklish feeling was back. Now LuHan could feel SeHun’s torso bobbing up and down as he breathed, and his smile was just another detail, and his noses were so close they were touching, and they were only seconds away from pressing their lips together, but the voices started again, and LuHan couldn’t stop them, and silence only came when SeHun pressed his lips on LuHan and started kissing him passionately, their lips colliding into a unique connection that finished too quickly.

 

LuHan smiled and pressed his eyes shut, before turning his head to the wall. “You are really stubborn.”

 

“But you like it don’t you.” SeHun smiled.

 

-

 

After February the fourteenth, SeHun and LuHan became closer, and kisses and touches became more intense, and the ticklish feeling was gone – not gone, it was just a feeling LuHan had gotten used to – though LuHan couldn’t avoid blushing whenever SeHun touched his neck or his back, it was just something inevitable.

 

SeHun and LuHan had become one, and SeHun didn’t stop healing LuHan. He didn’t hear the voices whispering dirty thoughts when SeHun was close. It wasn’t the same, he was healthy, and he was the LuHan he used to be before.

 

He had never stopped thinking – What does a unicorn have to do with Oh SeHun?

 

-

 

March 20, the night is cold and LuHan is falling asleep to the sound of pouring rain. That’s when he feels warmth closing up to him, legs tangling between his and a now in touch with his torso. He opens his eyes to face messy brown hair, and he recognizes him. – Thick lips, perfect nose, milky skin – With no doubt, he stretches his arm and lets it fall over SeHun; SeHun responds by grabbing his arm and takes his hand on his, tangling his fingers and bringing both hands close to his chest.

 

“Hyung, I’ve always wanted to cuddle while it’s raining.”

 

LuHan smiled and slowly cupped his head behind SeHun’s neck, finding comfort between his head and the pillow. “I’ve always wanted that too.”

 

LuHan thought he had heard SeHun say, “I know that.” But he wasn’t sure – sleep had won over him and he was already gone. That was the first time in which SeHun had woken up beside him – he had always left in the middle of the night and LuHan would wake up alone. LuHan could just smile, feeling SeHun’s usual smell and the warmth of his body against his, and their hands connected into one.

 

“Hyung, I didn’t have a bad dream today.”

 

“Me neither.” He chuckled. “It’s funny; I have nightmares every night and last night was an exception.” LuHan pressed hi head tighter into the back of SeHun’s neck. “You really heal.”

 

LuHan only felt SeHun shiver and push himself further and closer against LuHan, the side of his face now resting on his arm, their fingers tangled tighter. “Hyung,” he called, “I want to stay like this forever.”

 

LuHan smiled and held SeHun tighter, before moving his head into a position that blacket him out and sent him back to sleep.

 

It was afternoon already, and the sound of his stomach groaning woke him up to a set of pillows he was holding against his chest. “Very smart, SeHun.” He mouthed to himself. He jumped off the bed and walked directly towards the bathroom, glancing back at the door occasionally in hope SeHun would show up from the blue like he usually did – no one came, and LuHan concluded he should probably stop over-thinking everything and go take a bath.

 

He stopped in front of the mirror and took off his shirt. The scars had healed, but thin, white lines were still visible. He crunched his face, thinking to himself how stupid he was, but then again, he was now healed, and he had nothing to worry about.

 

Now he thinks of the time that had passed, and thanks to SeHun, it seemed ages. His scars had healed, not only his physical scars, but his soul’s scars had healed too.

 

-

 

“What was your last girlfriend like?”

 

SeHun’s question drove LuHan into a speechless and motionless state – although he tried to block it with a fake smile. “She was nice.” He said, “but I… I screwed everything up.” He now mumbled, “As always.” and looked back at the ground.

 

“Why? I mean… How did you screw it all up?”

 

“Well… I really didn’t like her…” He started, “she was good to me but I was never good to her. We always used to do stuff… That’s probably why I liked her.

 

“Do stuff?”

 

“Well… I was young.” He chuckled.

 

“Is that your reason?” SeHun said, his brow furrowed. “You were young?” he stood up in front of LuHan, who leaned his back against the wall. “You are a manipulative piece of crap.”

 

“What? Who are you to judge me?” He said, “I got sick and I’m better now, I’ve changed.”

 

“That won’t change what you’ve done.”

 

“Whenever I thought about it, I felt like that.” LuHan said. “I felt exactly how you called me, like a ‘manipulative piece of crap’” He smiled. “I would never do that to you, no need to become a girl.”

 

LuHan meant what he said, he meant it deeply; his feelings for SeHun were real, and everything he had said up until now was real. The day they first kissed, he meant kissing him back. The day they talked about their true feelings, he meant to stutter as he nervously spoke. Every single thing they had done, LuHan had done it because he wanted to, because he felt like it was the right thing to do, because he meant it.

 

“What if I actually only used you for fun?” SeHun said.

 

LuHan’s heart dropped and fell on his stomach for a second – did anger full him and he was just saying random things or was he being honest because he was tired of LuHan? – and when he finally could swallow the knot he felt on his throat, he could only say one word, “what?”

 

SeHun only rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “Hyung…” he furrowed his brow and looked back at LuHan, “we only have six months left – you need to stay true to your feelings.”

 

“Why six months?”

 

“I only gave you a year, remember?”

 

“So after a year, you will leave me? After everything we did? After everything I’ve fought against to? After finding my cure?” LuHan stood up and cupped SeHun’s face on his hands. “You will leave me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Do you even care?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then I don’t care either.” LuHan said as he pushed SeHun’s head and stepped backwards. “You are the manipulative piece of crap SeHun.” He said, “you have brought me into this sick, twisted game of yours and now I can’t seem to let go off you.” He chuckled angrily and his top teeth, “I can’t believe I fell for fifteen year old that is almost a stranger.”

 

“I’m sorry, hyung.” He said, “I know you can’t control this, but I can’t either. I’m just a uni–”

 

“Can you actually notice I can never understand a thing of what you say?” he yelled, “actually, that’s fine – because everything you say is bull.”

 

“This is why you’re so sick.” SeHun said, “because all you think of is the future and you never enjoy the moment.”

 

“I already know that, I’ve always hated myself for that.” LuHan stepped forward and pulled SeHun by the waist, pressing his lips against the youngest and now his tongue sliding inside his mouth. When he pulled away, he ran the back of his hand on his lips and looked at SeHun in the eye, “I can’t believe I always smile for this.”

 

SeHun looked at the elder with a serious expression. “I like you.”

 

“Go to hell.” LuHan said, letting go of SeHun and now sitting at the edge of his bed. “Leave.”

 

SeHun said, “fine, I’ll come tomorrow” as he walked towards the door.

 

“No, don’t come.” LuHan yelled; and even though he had said that, he mentally kicked himself for doing so, the last thing he wanted to happen as SeHun to leave, and he was about to fall on his knees to pray for SeHun to come back the next morning.

 

-

 

“I didn’t sleep last night.” LuHan said, his gaze on SeHun. He was worried; SeHun was there, but it was like he wasn’t – he didn’t speak to LuHan, he didn’t even look at him.

 

“Shut up.” SeHun said, his eyes on the ground and his fringe covering his eyes. “I really like the silence, and not your voice, so shut up.”

 

LuHan rolled his eyes and turned back to SeHun, mumbling the words “I’m going to punch you.” to himself.

 

Nothing was alright anymore. SeHun’s quiet persona was uncomfortable, it was like being on his own, and things were so different before. That was the day LuHan told himself never to raise his to SeHun ; the boys had a 3 year and SeHun was probably weaker and less emotionally mature than LuHan – though sometimes it seemed all the opposite. “Who are you to tell me to shut up?”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m older than you, you can’t tell me to shut up.” He said, now kneeling, his head bowed in order to look directly to SeHun. He pecked him slowly, almost too ridiculously slow, and smiled. “You are immature.”

 

“Me?”

 

“You’re doing that ice thing on me.” He smiled once more. “I used to do that… A lot.”

 

SeHun glared at LuHan and looked away.

 

 

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Comments

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_thehime
#1
Chapter 5: Omfg wae so beautiful sfkjnbmxbehiohkjbjnbcxc youre daebak author-nim ;AAAA;
honhonbaguette #2
Chapter 4: Unicorns. ...They heal. :OOO LAY'S POWER. OHMYGLOBBB. I GET ITT.

You made me cry author-nim. ;_;
princesslulu04 #3
Chapter 5: ;A; this is so depressing yet beautiful. Hunhan </3
Amimiammiam
#4
Chapter 5: I hate you ;_______;
HUNHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN AKLSJDKSJDL♥


I love you~
therisingsun_dbsk
#5
Chapter 5: OOOOMFG.. SO SAD BUT SO BEAUTIFUL AT THE SAME TIME... :O This is delightful =)
keudaee #6
Chapter 5: oh.. my god. this is just amazing, i am actually speechless. i just have this empty feeling in my heart after reading this and just ughh. it hurts so much i can't even explain.. the last line, i just. when i try to picture myself in luhan's place i just feel so scared, and suffocated in a way. usually it's so difficult to relate to these kinds of characters, but for me i was able to feel what luhan was feeling. this was really good, dear author. *hands you a deer plushie because this was amazing*
Jellylemon_Jello
#7
Chapter 5: This is so depressing :'((( but I love it <3<3 The way you described Hunhan's parts as if Sehun was real,the ending was great (but I'm sad and mentally sobbing) I wish Lu's in a better place:))
Amimiammiam
#8
Chapter 3: This fic is..... I LOVE IT~
I'm listening to Pink Floyd and is not helping, I'm shaking.. I don't know, I'm scared .___.
Oh, I think I know the answer to Sehun's question~