8 {F}
Is This My Life?Complete standstill sums up the current Choi household.
Minho and Jonghyun have been spending more time together. Minho reached the point where he goes out of his way to talk to Jonghyun about the smallest things. He has given into Jonghyun's attempts of flirting by causally touching and caressing him.
It pained Minho's heart to no end.
Minho knows that Taemin is not taking any of this well. He often finds Taemin looking out of the library's balcony, staring at the perfect garden down below. Minho controlled the urge of hugging him from behind, and confessing all his feelings for his angel. However, that will never happen, and Minho found pleasure with Jonghyun instead-to his displeasure of course.
Meanwhile, Jonghyun was eating all of this up.
Whenever he was with Minho, he was on cloud nine. His love for Minho slowly blossomed with every glance and conversation. His heart would beat quickly with every touching of skin. He cannot hold his feelings in anymore, but he has to. He has to bide his time. Jonghyun would sneer at Taemin whenever he sees him. He did not like that young boy at all.
Taemin, well, Taemin hasn't been doing too well.
Taemin felt rejected and wronged. He knew his feelings for Minho meant nothing, but that didn't stop his slowly breaking heart. He looks at himself in the mirror, trying to find all the imperfections he can. Was he too fat for Minho's liking? Was his face not good looking enough? Was he too young for Minho's taste? Did Minho see him as a young, helpless boy? All these thoughts wandered in Taemin's mind, and it drove him berserk.
Taemin stayed in his room majority of the time, or, on rare occasions, he would make a trip to the library. He read almost all the books that called the library their home, and he even started his own collection of books in his room. Reading was his sanctuary, like how when he was young. It took him to a new world, and it would take him away from a cruel reality.
Taemin didn't feel like dancing anymore. All the passion he had for dancing was out of him, leaving him dry and parched.
---
Taemin stopped going to dinner all together. This greatly disturbed Minho. He thought he made it clear that everyone who was present at the household must attend dinner. After a week, Minho got fed up. He looked around the mansion for Taemin, but he wished he didn't.
Minho found Taemin in the dance room, in a fetal position, crying.
Minho heard desperate sobs-sobs that were calling out for someone to come and protect him. He stood there, looking over Taemin's small body. He had to fight the urge to go and protect his beloved, but he stopped those thoughts immediately. Minho gently closed the door and went on with his day.
The sounds and sights of what he witnessed never left his mind.
---
One chilly winter afternoon Minho called an emergency meeting in his study. Key, Onew, Mir, Taemin, Jonghyun, and other staff members were invited. They all crowded around his study, awaiting to hear what he was about to say.
Minho looked over his guests, but he felt a huge pain in his heart. Taemin, seated furthest away, did not give a single glance towards him. He merely looked out the window, seeing all the snowflakes fall. Minho knew what he was to say was cruel, but it needed to be done.
"Now, I know you may be wondering why I gathered you all today," Minho began. "Well, I have been invited to model overseas for this big modeling agency. The contract lasts a total of three months, and they have given me the luxury of being all expenses paid. I will be in Brazil, in multiple places doing different shoots. I am leaving in a few days time, and I will be giving everyone a list of things they are expected to do once I am away. This particular agency was very kind to me. They have given me the option of bringing one person along."
The room immediately went quiet.
Who would Minho pick?
Taemin's ears perked up, and his heart started to beat faster.
'Can it be me? Has he finally realized how dead I've become?' Taemin thought. Ideas swam in his head.
Jonghyun looked at Minho, wondering it if could possibly be him.
'Who else could he go with? There's Taemin, but he does not really hang out with him anymore. I'm sure it is going to be me," Jonghyun thought. He smirked and started thinking about all the fun he could have with Minho, alone.
Key looked dumbstruck.
'That stupid frog better not make the wrong decision. I swear if he picks who I think he is going to pick, I will cut off his manhood and feed it to the dogs,' Key thought, looking at Minho attempting to read his deep set eyes.
Minho glanced in Taemin's direction once again, and then he glanced at Jonghyun. He prayed to the heavens to give him strength because what he is about to say will effect everyone.
"I have already made my decision, and that is another reason why you all are here. The person I have picked, is in this room. The person I have picked," the room went deathly silent, "is Jonghyun."
The room went in a frenzy.
Taemin felt as if every ounce of life drained out of him. Tears found their home on his cheeks. He quickly ran out of the room, not daring to look behind him.
Jonghyun smiled and said thanks to the congratulations he received. He looked over at Minho and winked at him. Thought of ways to seduce Minho galloped through his mind. He grinned yet again.
Key heard Taemin's departure, and he glared at Minho with his fierce eyes. He was about to yell profanity when he felt Onew's hands clasp with his. Key saw the look in Onew's eyes, and he let everything go, for now. They both left the room, trying to figure out what to do next.
---
Minho quickly ran after Taemin. Mir had a sneaking suspicion that Taemin has a crush on Minho, and this proved him right. He chased after that mushroom head, and he was gasping deeply outside of the dance studio. He gathered up his bearings and opened the door.
Minho quickly ran after Taemin. Mir had a sneaking suspicion that Taemin has a crush on Minho, and this proved him right. He chased after that mushroom head, and he was gasping deeply outside of the dance studio. He gathered up his bearings and opened the door.
Mir rushed to Taemin's side, and he wrapped his arms around him. He held him close-afraid that if he let go Taemin would do something stupid.
Taemin cries filled the room.
"Why," was the only thing that managed to find its way out of his mouth.
Mir knew this wasn't the right time to ask, so he let Taemin soak his shirt with tears.
Taemin didn't stop crying completely, but he had calmed down enough to where he could speak clearly.
"W-w-why did you come?" Taemin asked Mir. His face still in his shirt.
"Because...because I know," Mir whispered.
Taemin tensed up, and tears poured out of his eyes again.
"S-s-since when?" Taemin asked in between tiny sobs.
Mir sighed deeply.
"I had speculations for around a year now. It started when Jonhyun took Minho's attention away from you. You looked, broken. I have caught you crying a few times, but I never asked why. I guess, I didn't want to know the answer to it, but today that answer came. I know that you love Minho."
"How, how do you know I love him?" Taemin asked with a tiny voice.
"It's the way you look at him. It is the same way I look at Joon."
Taemin looked up at Mir's face, and he was met with a loving look.
Mir was looked at the wall, his face full of love. You could feel it from the stare he had on his face, he was thinking of Joon.
"I never knew you liked Joon," Taemin said.
Mir gave a light chuckle.
"Well, I kind of have to like someone who's my boyfriend don't I?" Mir answered.
Taemin gasped loudly.
"Omo! You and Joon are dating? Since when?" Taemin asked.
"We have been together for six months now, and they have been the greatest six months of my existence," Mir said with a smile.
It was quiet in the room. It wasn't awkward, it was nice.
"Mir, how did you know you liked Joon?" Taemin questioned.
Mir took a while to think, but his response was well thought out.
"Taemin-ah, everyone will tell you a different story on how they fell in love. Some might say it was love at first sight. Other's may say butterflies fly in their bellies when they are around their significant other. Some will say it smacked them in the face, with the force of a bulldozer. But, something I can say that is true with everyone is, you just know. When I started having feelings for Joon, I just knew he was the one for me. I know that we are a new couple and all, but I know that we are perfect for one another. We have our little fights here and there, but we always resolve them, and our relationship grows stronger. I will say something thought Taemin-ah. Love, love is the greatest feeling on this whole world that I have ever experienced."
Taemin and MIr stayed in a peaceful silence for the rest of the evening, embracing each other.
A new sense of friendship filled the air.
---
Key managed to convince Taemin to come out of his room to say goodbye to Minho. Taemin did agree to it, but that didn't mean he liked it. He stood, once again, in the other patch of the group, not really caring what happened. His soul had been crushed, and he wasn't handling the situation well. He has lost a lot of weight, and he had a secret.
A secret that could land him in a lot of trouble.
"I am leaving now," Minho yelled to everyone. "I'll see you in three months, and I want everything to be the same as it always is. Goodbye!"
Minho smiled and he took Jonghyun's hand in his. They went to the car and drove away. The crowd dispersed, and Taemin let out a deep breath he was holding.
"You know what Minho?" Taemin said to himself as he walked around the garden, leaving footsteps in the snow. "I love you, I love you with all my heart. It pains me how you don't think I am good enough for you. I really did think you liked me back, even if it was just a little. I've liked you since I was a young boy, when I didn't even know what love really meant. Those butterflies swarmed in my belly, but now they all seemed to have died, along with me. Why can't you see Minho? Why haven't you looked at me? I'm dying without your little affection. I'm dying."
Taemin broke down on the ground. He was freezing, but he didn't care. All that mattered to him was how his heart seemed to have shattered with the confession he made.
After what seemed like an eternity, Taemin picked himself up. The tears were long gone by now, but the pain never left.
Taemin looked behind him, and he saw the footprints he made.
Taemin looked in front of him, and he saw a clean slate.
Taemin marched forward, never looking into the past again. What was done is done, and he moved on. Though his feelings for Minho will never fully leave, he has to try to stop.
Easier said than done.
---
The Choi mansion was quiet that night, and the residents under her roof sound asleep.
Little did they know what the future weeks would hold.
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