I. Swear. I. Am. Going. To. Amputate. That. Freaking. Leg.  The tip of your pen snaps off from the pressure. You stayed unmoved by the sudden sound, though, still focusing on that outstretched length of limb that belonged to an annoying piece of arrogant banana head of a being. You have been silently wanting to kill the guy lately after that incident not more than a week ago. Does ‘Hello Kitty’ ring a bell?

 Although you’d hate to admit it, the blonde monkey kinda – ugh fine, greatly – helped in warding off the bullies away from you. It wasn’t exactly a big deal; he was the culprit of it anyway. And besides, that doesn’t make living any easier. Oh hell no, suffering was only warming up to haunt your quiet and reclusive life. Your intuitive gut tells you that his true evil self is just concealed under that extremely annoying exterior, and somewhat got triggered by an unknown force that led to victimize you as an object of entertainment. The most nerve-wracking part about it is that you don’t know what he’s planning to do or say, he just continues onto being bafflingly indifferent that you’re scared he would do a move that would possibly ruin your friendship – and miraculously more than that – with Suho. Aigoo, what would happen if he tells him that you’re not the person Suho thinks of or something? Would Suho  understand? He looks like the guy who can. But then again, you cannot be sure of it. And you can’t risk it. Or what if he tells him that you like Hello Kitty and adore the little cat in your undies? You can only hope that Suho likes Hello Kitty, too.

Nevertheless, the odds are in danger now because of that, and you need to get him out of the picture. Fast. But there’s only one humane way that you could do something about it. And it’s up to him –in other words, befriending him – and afterwards bribe—err, persuade him into keeping your little secret. Or if you are left with no choice, you have to murder him. Put him inside an iron maiden, and torture him like how the merciless Vikings would. Ahaha..ha.. Just kidding…. No, seriously?

Nah, you can’t possibly do that. Just look at him! How the hell would you kidnap this towering piece of giraffe? Obviously, he’s not gonna fit inside the luggage part of the car. And he’s a guy, too, he’d be inconveniently stronger than you. You’re most likely going to fail, and what you’ll do would give him more advantage. The more reason you’ll risk your secrets. You mean, he’s the type to poke fun with blackmail.

Hmm, is he? You slowly glance to your right and take a peek at him. He was slouching coolly in his seat, his long left leg still outstretched before you and the other one to the opposite direction. He was dozing off in his armchair, his head poking out from his arms, his tousled hair draping almost perfectly on his sculpted features. It feels like observing a very big sloth in its natural habitat. You laugh to yourself. It’s amusing how he brings up all the animal references out in you all of a sudden.

He must’ve felt your gawking, because he sleepily flitted his eyes open, catching you in the act. He smiled – yes a smile, not a smirk – for a moment, making your heart jump involuntarily inside. For a minute there, you thought that he was really kind and harmless until his eyes drifted to your chest area and back at your frozen expression.

“You still wearing Hello Kitty undies?” He whispered, following it with a pompous smirk after he saw your entire face change. Before you could throw a comeback at him, he immediately buried his face inside his arms and continued sleeping, escaping smoothly.

All of your blood must’ve rushed towards your face because you felt it burn really hard. Your knuckles were white with rage as you gripped your pen harder than ever, gritting your teeth for self-control. You swear you have to kill this guy someday. Heck, you’re going to plan his death right now. Now where’s my Death Note notebook…

“Are you okay?” A firm hand cups your left shoulder. Most of your anger drastically subsides when you faced the direction of the voice and found an angelic face with a worried expression. Your face wasn’t red with anger this time.

“Uhm.. Err… yeah…” You answer him shyly. Damn he sure can tame you at an instant.

“Are you sure? You look really flushed. Do you have a fever?” He removes his hand from your shoulder and places it towards your neck. You slightly flinch at his velvet touch. “Wait, you feel hot.” He frowns. “You should go to the clinic.”

That’s not because I have a fever, silly. It’s because of you. “No no, it’s okay. I really feel alright. You don’t need to worry.” You gave him an assuring smile.

“Oh, okay.” He reluctantly withdraws his hand and smiled back.

Not a minute after, Mr. Oh, the math teacher, comes in with a stack of papers tucked under his arm. At first glance, it looked like just a load of harmless papers. But for you, its contents were dangerous. Only because it contained the results of the previous meeting’s check-up examination.

It has been (not really) known that you’re excellent at memorizing and reciting the complete history of Korea and Europe, and even at narrating the entire Iliad and Odyssey of Homer, but that doesn’t mean you’re equally skillful with numbers, too. As a matter of fact, your analytical and computational skills are at par with a kindergartener’s. You even wondered how you managed to survive all the math classes you’ve taken up.

“Good morning, class.” Mr. Oh greets everyone with his signature poker face on, his glasses shining brightly on his face. “As you can see, I’ve brought your check-up examination papers you’ve answered last meeting. I’ve done checking them and unfortunately…” He flips the papers in front of him, projecting a feel of suspense. “…all of you have fair scores, especially Suho, who got perfect.” He shot Suho a quick smile. Everyone lets out a sigh of relief, including you. “Everyone passed, except for one student.” His smile fades, and you swear you could’ve imagined it, but his eyes lingered unnecessarily longer on you. Uh-oh, I have a bad feeling about this.

“Anyway, the next quarterly exam is fast approaching, and the coverage will more or less still be the same with the questions I put in here.” He holds out the pile of papers. “I assume that you are highly aware that Mathematics is one of the major subjects, and I hope you’ll study harder and improve your scores. Especially this particular person who failed.” He smirked. “Let me remind you that the annual junior’s bash is fast approaching. And I heard some rumors that the admin is going to prohibit any junior that fails in one of his or her exams on the major subjects to participate. May this serve as an enlightenment and motivation to all of you.”

Mr. Oh starts distributing the papers back one by one in random order. After ten names, he finally calls yours, and you hesitantly went up to the front to receive it. He meticulously eyes you as you held out your hand for receiving, but says nothing else and finally gives it to you.

You stare at the red scribble on your paper that brightly screamed 27/100. You didn’t imagine it when his look lingered longer on you. You weren’t really surprised, but the fact that you had slim chances of participating in a once-in-a-high-school-life event. Even more, you wouldn’t be able to see Suho in a suit. I guess I’ll just leave it up to my imagination and the pictures, you sigh.

 Shoulders slumped with disappointment, you head back to your seat with crushed spirits on that junior’s bash. Suho, although oblivious of your cursed fate, sensed something was off with you.

“Did you do well?” He asks. You reply to him with a headshake and a frown. “I guess I’m not made to be a math wizard after all.” You added, murmuring with mock humor.

“That’s okay. I know you’ll do better on the exams. You’ll just have to study hard.” He tries to comfort you.

“Thanks, but I think it’s useless. I’m notorious for being an extreme numerical airhead, trust me, it’s a rare disease I caught somewhere.”

He falls silent for a moment, his face unreadable. Not for long, his face lightens up. “Ah! How about I help you in curing that?”

You blink at him. “Cure…? Like how?”

“You know, like tutorial lessons in Math.” He suggests, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

Are you kidding me? “B-but I don’t have something to offer you back…”

“It’s okay. Just pass at least 60% of the exam.”

“And what if I don’t pass?”

“Then I’m going to be really upset.” He pouts. Gosh, he looks so cute when he does that.  “And besides, I’m confident you’re going to accomplish it anyway because I’m going to teach you good, so let’s not worry about that.” He smiles. “So, deal?”  He holds out his hand to you.

OMG, Suho is going to teach me Math! And he’s going to teach me good. Oh my, the things we’re going to--- YA! Stop! Now’s not the time to think of such fantasies. And as if he’s going to make a move on me, he’s not some guy who’d belong to the raging hormones club. And I’m not some girl that belongs to the seductive category. He’s genuinely trying to help me here, and it would be rude not to take it. It won’t hurt to accept it, right? Fine.

  You nod at him, firmly sealing the deal with a handshake.

“So, when are you free? Exam days are not until three weeks from now.”

“Uhm, Saturdays and Sundays, I think?”

“Hmm, okay… “ He trails off. “Oh, since it’s Friday today, would it be comfortable for you if we start tomorrow?”

OH HELL YES. We can even start tonight if you want. “Sure, tomorrow’s fine.”

He nods and reaches down for his pocket, fishing out his cell phone. “By the way, may I ask for your number?”

“Eh?” Did he just ask for my number? “Come again?”

“I’m going to need to get your number. I need to contact you when I need to pick you up before we go to my house.”

H-HIS HOUSE?! You clear your throat and said, “Uhh, your house?”

“Yeah. Or would you rather it’d be in your house?” He asks innocently.

“No! I mean, yeah, your house would be fine.” Because I’d get teased to death if I’ll bring a guy home. Even for harmless reasons.

You exchange numbers before Mr. Oh finishes in giving out the corrected papers. He gives you a ring to check if he typed it right.

“Everything’s settled then. I hope I’ll get to change your views on Math after this.” He gives you a small smile before turning back to Mr. Oh, who now was discussing about functions.

And I hope I’ll get to make you change your views on me, too. You silently thought, turning your attention to Mr. Oh, and pretending to understand what f of x meant other than a famous female girl group.