★★★

i want to tell you something. something important.

and if you think about the Words i will tell you right now,

you Can easily understand that i am right.

i don’t want to Hurt! you, but for you to get what i am telling you, i maybe have to.

ready? okay, lets see if you can find my message!  

★

Words Can Hurt!

★★★

This day was going to be like a day in hell. Jongin’s parents had not given up on trying to convince him to go with them to the family gathering that was later in the evening. Problem is; he wasn’t going, whatsoever. If it meant he had to sneak out when his parents wasn’t watching or just don’t go home after school - well, then that’s what he would do.

Yoona and Junsu had started already this morning with their nagging and asking. More careful of their words than ever before, as they didn’t want a big fight like last time. They really wanted him to go, so that he maybe someday could start liking these traditions, or at least the holiday.

If this was what Christmas was about, then he never would like the holiday, Jongin thought as he thought about his parents arguments of how nice of a holiday this was, and that he just had to  learn liking it.

Learn liking it my ! He had tried for several years now without any result, and had now come to the conclusion that he could just give up. What’s the meaning of using precious time on trying like something you hate? Jongin didn’t know either.

“Hey, Jongin.” The person sitting beside him at the lunch table nudged his side, waking him from his own world of thinking. ”What are you thinking about?” the person asked. Jongin turned his head to the side where Kyungsoo sat.

“Nothing much,” he answered simply, hoping Kyungsoo would leave it at that. But his friends were some curious bastards that wasn’t always what they seemed to be like at all times. Kyungsoo looked at him a few more seconds, thinking that Jongin would tell him, but gave up when he didn’t surrender.

“Ok then,” Kyungsoo said and continued on his food that he had made just this morning (surprisingly enough). The delicious food of Do Kyungsoo was something no one could say no to. If he offered to make Jongin and his friends food, they would say yes before he could finish his sentence, and while they waited for him to finish cooking, they would be like excited little children. And they would eat everything - not one single crumb left on their plates, and there was no exception. It even beat Jongin’s mother’s cooking, which was the best in the world (or the second best, since Kyungsoo’s is better) in Jongin’s opinion.

“!” Jongin said, getting everyone's attention by his sudden use of a cursing word.

“What’s up?” Kyungsoo asked.

“See you later guys,” he said, ignoring Kyungsoo’s question. He took his food and bag with him as he stood up in lightning speed and walked over to a quiet place, leaving his friends dumbfounded and curious. He had an article about London to finish by today, and he wasn’t finished yet. He still had a few sentences to write and proofreading before handing it to the newspaper. And if there was one thing he never had wanted nor wanted in the future, was giving Kibum the pleasure of coming late or to not have anything to hand in.

If I don’t finish this today, I’m bound/doomed to get fired, Jongin thought as sat down in a corner and wrote the last few sentences of his article. It had to be really good, or else the readers wouldn’t be their readers anymore, since Kibum would ruin the quality of his column - and then people just wouldn’t be interested anymore.

★

Jongin walked into Kibum’s office to hand over the article. It had to be spell checked before published, and Kibum was the one that did that for the whole newspaper every day - not only Thought, Life and Other. Jongin looked at him from the corner of his eye (why should he even spare him a single glance when he had taken away the only thing that kept him sane through Christmas time?) and saw his signature eye-roll instead of hearing his usual comments. On his way out he stopped - not turning around to look at him, but staring blankly in front of him instead.

“You know what? I think you actually need to write the column, just this once, to see that you are never going to be as good of a writer as I am. And that you don’t deserve the honor of writing my column,” Jongin said with self-confidence and walked off before Kibum could say anything about it.

He felt better after saying it out loud. He knew he did better than the diva and wasn’t afraid of telling him that. Just like his parents, Kibum needed to get some sense into his stupid head and acknowledge reality.

★

Yixing and Jongin were sitting in Yixing’s room talking about everything and nothing. You might wonder what Jongin was doing at Yixing’s house, and that was because of Jongin’s brilliant idea on how to escape his home until his family had left. He had been bored in English class and started analysing the people in his class, even if he kind of knew how they behaved already (it had nothing to do with the fact that he had been bored in class earlier. No, no, no).

His eyes had landed on Yixing in the end, and that’s when the idea hit him. He could just go home with Yixing after school and spend the time there until Yixing was to go to work. Problem solved!

Since Yixing had some more classes after Jongin was finished with his day, and Jongin could get some time to hand in his column without his friend knowing. That way he could use Yixing to get away from home, and Yixing wouldn’t figure out about his job as ‘Kai’. Because if he ever did, Jongin would never get peace again, since Yixing would spread the rumor all around the world (at least at school), and everyone would know his secret.

I’m a genius!

“Oh, by the way! Have you read the newspaper Soul of Seoul?” Yixing asked, his eyes still glued to his laptop screen. Jongin started to wonder if Yixing was going to start talking about him (or Kai. Whichever you like) like Baekhyun had did the other day.

“Have read it before, but not the last ones, why?” Jongin said as casually as he could. Better act normal so he doesn’t assume anything. The last thing he needed was a rumor about him being the writer of Thought, Life and other, then he would never be left alone again.

“Then I guess you know about Kai? The mysterious guy that writes that little column called Thought, Life and Other, right?” he then asked, finally turning his gaze from the laptop and to his friend. Jongin nodded, not taking the chance in speaking. He would probably let out a laugh or sound too artificial, which would reveal him.

“His really good, and there are rumors saying that he is a young man at our school. A student,” he said eagerly.

That boy can’t really do anything but gossip and talk about rumors like a teenage girl?

After his thought had run away, he started processing what Yixing just said. A student? At our school? Is my identity revealed? He panicked in his mind, but was careful not to let anything show on the surface. To be sure that Yixing didn’t notice his slight panicked eyes, he asked about who he thought he was, and much to Jongin’s relief, he started babbling about all the different possibilities, that had nothing to do with him.

★

He had made sure to not come home before his family had left for the gathering. He didn’t want to argue about going, nor did he want to be seen when he got home. On the bench in the hall where the mail used to be laid the letter from grandma Joy was lying. She always sent him letters about what she thought of his column. She was one of the few people who knew that Jongin was the famous Kai, and always gave him praise and advice to his writing. It felt so good to know that his grandma liked it, and that he didn’t have to hide it from her that he was the one who wrote the column Thought, Life and Other.

Like always, his grandmother thought the column was great, and the message was even greater. He smiled as he read it. Grandma Joy always praised him and helped him with whatever it was he needed help for; and if she couldn’t help, she would just tell grandpa to help him. Such kind-hearted grandparents, he thought with a smile spread across his face.

He put the letter in his drawer, together with all the other letters he had got from his grandma, and lay on his bed. He looked up at the ceiling, not a single thought in his head. If he had been inside his own head and was to walk around there, he would have thought he was dead and in heaven together with God or something - that’s how empty it was. And before he knew, he had drifted off to sleep and didn’t notice his parents coming home - much to Jongin’s luck and happiness.

 

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a/n: hi! it’s ee here! once again it’s me that writes
when someone from SHINee has birthday ^^
this time it’s our beloved leader Onew :3
so i want to say happy birthday to him too ^^
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE JINKI! ♥